I finished watching this episode yesterday and I felt that I had to vent about this before the actual review and I could not allow this to hang over my head for the week. While it wasn't the main story and the episode itself was rather boring and unfunny (Newsflash to the writers, having someone always succeed does not equal funny. Having them fail is funny). I'll address the Instant Expert of Homer as a hairdresser (And the painfully unfunny way he got there) later, right now I want to rant about the subplot of Milhouse and Lisa.
Milhouse decides that because knowing Nemo's (Finding Nemo) mother died in the first chapter, he must live every day to the fullest. I could include this in the rant, but I promised this would be short. He decides that he needs to flatout tell Lisa that he loves her and that he's been too subtle about it (THESE writers think they know subtlety, their version of subtlety makes a 2 by 4 to the face seem inconspicuous). He proceeds to embarrass himself and Lisa at the cafeteria, to which Lisa tells him that she does not love him. However a fifth grader named Taffy thinks what he did was romantic and decides to go out with him (She has no motivation, no character, few lines all of which aren't funny and yet the writers want us to believe that she's very popular and just using Milhouse to get another guy. Spoiler alert; nothing becomes of this, and her exit makes about as much sense as jumping into a puddle of mud to clean yourself). Anyways, Lisa starts to suspect Taffy has some ulterior motivation for being with Milhouse and she follows them to a cliff. Lisa gets spotted by Milhouse, Milhouse tells her he's over her, Taffy leaves Milhouse and Milhouse asks why Lisa did that.
Okay the "point" of all that was to establish just how infuriating this next scene made me, what comes next might be one of the worst moments in Simpsons history. There is no motivation for this next scene, there is no buildup, there is just... this:
Milhouse asks if Lisa how miserable he has to be before she's happy. Lisa then decides to walk over and kiss Milhouse right on the lips... I wish I had recorded my reaction to this scene, because I cannot express with words how pissed I was. I literally had to walk away in a secluded area just to scream at the top of my lungs, and I wasn't finished. It took me an hour of walking and collecting my mind before I could even WANT to finish watching the episode. Even trying to rationalize this, I thought to myself "Well maybe Lisa was jealous of Milhouse" but then I thought about it more, it is totally out of character for her to be jealous of Milhouse with someone else, she's made it crystal clear that she's never loved him and never will. If you haven't noticed, Lisa is my favorite character, and for that character derailing moment, I just was so pissed off. There was no motivation for her actions, no buildup and worst of all, it was LISA who kissed MILHOUSE, not the other way around. I maybe could have accepted Milhouse kissing her and Lisa blushing and thinking about it for a moment (Like Lisa's Date with Density) but no, the writers completely fucked up her character and did the ONE thing she'd never do. I was surprised they didn't have her eat a steak right afterwards, followed by killing a cat and then ditch her sax for a Katy Perry CD. Oh wait they already had her eat a piece of ham (Fight Before Christmas), kill scorpions (The Scorpion's Tale) and throw out her sax (Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life) in this season alone... I'm just going to a dark corner and cry for few hours.
And with all that, I'll just end on this note.
FUCK YOU WRITERS, YOU CAN GO TO HELL!!!
I'm sorry, this episode just got the better of me. I apologize for my unprofessionalism. I will try to base my review on the entirety of the episode and not this particular scene. Have a nice day