Monday, May 9, 2011

Quick Rant about Homer Scissorhands

I finished watching this episode yesterday and I felt that I had to vent about this before the actual review and I could not allow this to hang over my head for the week. While it wasn't the main story and the episode itself was rather boring and unfunny (Newsflash to the writers, having someone always succeed does not equal funny. Having them fail is funny). I'll address the Instant Expert of Homer as a hairdresser (And the painfully unfunny way he got there) later, right now I want to rant about the subplot of Milhouse and Lisa.

Milhouse decides that because knowing Nemo's (Finding Nemo) mother died in the first chapter, he must live every day to the fullest. I could include this in the rant, but I promised this would be short. He decides that he needs to flatout tell Lisa that he loves her and that he's been too subtle about it (THESE writers think they know subtlety, their version of subtlety makes a 2 by 4 to the face seem inconspicuous). He proceeds to embarrass himself and Lisa at the cafeteria, to which Lisa tells him that she does not love him. However a fifth grader named Taffy thinks what he did was romantic and decides to go out with him (She has no motivation, no character, few lines all of which aren't funny and yet the writers want us to believe that she's very popular and just using Milhouse to get another guy. Spoiler alert; nothing becomes of this, and her exit makes about as much sense as jumping into a puddle of mud to clean yourself). Anyways, Lisa starts to suspect Taffy has some ulterior motivation for being with Milhouse and she follows them to a cliff. Lisa gets spotted by Milhouse, Milhouse tells her he's over her, Taffy leaves Milhouse and Milhouse asks why Lisa did that.

Okay the "point" of all that was to establish just how infuriating this next scene made me, what comes next might be one of the worst moments in Simpsons history. There is no motivation for this next scene, there is no buildup, there is just... this:

Milhouse asks if Lisa how miserable he has to be before she's happy. Lisa then decides to walk over and kiss Milhouse right on the lips... I wish I had recorded my reaction to this scene, because I cannot express with words how pissed I was. I literally had to walk away in a secluded area just to scream at the top of my lungs, and I wasn't finished. It took me an hour of walking and collecting my mind before I could even WANT to finish watching the episode. Even trying to rationalize this, I thought to myself "Well maybe Lisa was jealous of Milhouse" but then I thought about it more, it is totally out of character for her to be jealous of Milhouse with someone else, she's made it crystal clear that she's never loved him and never will. If you haven't noticed, Lisa is my favorite character, and for that character derailing moment, I just was so pissed off. There was no motivation for her actions, no buildup and worst of all, it was LISA who kissed MILHOUSE, not the other way around. I maybe could have accepted Milhouse kissing her and Lisa blushing and thinking about it for a moment (Like Lisa's Date with Density) but no, the writers completely fucked up her character and did the ONE thing she'd never do. I was surprised they didn't have her eat a steak right afterwards, followed by killing a cat and then ditch her sax for a Katy Perry CD. Oh wait they already had her eat a piece of ham (Fight Before Christmas), kill scorpions (The Scorpion's Tale) and throw out her sax (Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life) in this season alone... I'm just going to a dark corner and cry for few hours.

And with all that, I'll just end on this note.
I'm sorry, this episode just got the better of me. I apologize for my unprofessionalism. I will try to base my review on the entirety of the episode and not this particular scene. Have a nice day


  1. Well I really wasn't as passionate about this episode as you described but I definitely was pissed, especially since taffy didn't get more than two scenes and five lines and we're supposed to believe shes actually a character, the only way we find out who she is by listening to side notes made by other characters.

  2. Well like I said, Lisa's my favorite character on the show (Well classic Lisa at least). And in my eyes, I viewed that scene like if Homer dumped Marge to marry Selma.

    I was a bit disappointed too that Taffy had no development and nothing going for her. A complete waste of Kristen Schaal's talent. (P.S. they spelled her name wrong in the credits, they spelled it "Schall" instead of "Schaal". How lazy do you have to be to not even double check the only place with actual text?)

  3. The thing about classic Lisa (IMO) is that she was just a little girl, she was a child, not some sarcastic tween that she is now. She loved Malibu Stacy, Ponies, and everything a little girl would like while still being a little firm on whats wrong and right. Now they stretch her liberal personality to much to the point she becomes a stereotype, and that way it's easy to derail her character into a sarcastic tween.

  4. Agreed, she tries so hard to act mature and grown up, but she was still a child at heart. One of the best example of that (IMO) is "Scenes from Class Struggle in Springfield" when she tries to berate the upper class for being snobby know-it-alls who have no respect for others. She's easily distracted though by the horse and becomes a little girl.

    Now a days she's just a leftist, feministic, environmentalist prick whose job is to remind us about those characteristics, and be a buzz kill. And it just hurts me seeing her descend like this.

    P.S. Thought of another reason that scene pissed me off. It's blatant Fanfiction. I could care less if a complete stranger writes up a Fanfiction where everyone acts out of character, as long as it stays on Fanfiction. Knowing that the writers are getting paid to write bad Fanfiction bugs me.

  5. Yes unfortunately most of the newer simpsons have evolved into fanfiction. That's what happens when the actors just come in for the pay, the creator is too proud to see what's going on, and Fox is too scared to cancel it, because theyve created the perfect franchise.(IMO)

  6. So, you actually spent an hour yelling about The Simpsons? A half-hour animated television show that has very little basis in reality. If you want to talk about stuff not making sense in their universe, you should start with the idea that there are seasons, all holidays including New Years, and yet the characters never age. To top it off, if you take the stories of Homer and Marge's past, they change depending on the year told. I guess what I am saying is that you have to take every episode completely separate. Sure, there are run overs between episodes, seasons, and even throughout the entire show, but you cannot ever take something that has been on The Simpsons and put it in stone. Lisa having feelings for Milhouse was convenient, as was Homer's new found hair dressing skills. You and I have better things to do. This world isn't meant for Television, go ride a bike.

  7. First of all, I did not spend an hour yelling, I spent an hour recollecting my thoughts and clearing my mind (By taking that walk you talked about)

    Secondly, I complained about a moment that more or less derailed years of established continuity. So yeah I'm angry that the writers could care less about what they do. Fanbases get angry all the time when something with established continuity is just thrown out the window. Just ask any Spider-Man fan (or, for that matter, Mephisto fan) about "One More Day". This isn't something new and unique.

    Third, this is not my life, this is a hobby. I have a real life, I just have this to express opinions. You know, what a blog is meant for.

    Fourth, you spent how much energy ranting about my rant? You probably spent more energy than I did in mine.

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