The episode begins (After a 2:10-long opening, mind you. Is it too early to hate this episode with a flaming passion that burns with the heat of a thousand suns?) where Lisa decides to paint Patty and Selma for... I don't know why, I guess the writers forgot what "Character motivation" means (and it won't be the last time, I assure you). After Patty and Selma go to sleep, Bart decides this would be the perfect time to annoy Lisa while she paints. Somehow Lisa subconsciously paints Bart into the painting (More like a bad photoshop effect if you ask me) and Lisa then decides to put gravity-defying paint on her pallet and throws it at Bart which swings around a la a boomerang and follows him homing missile style until it lands in Patty's hair (Physics is for losers). After failing to get the paint out themselves, Lisa decides that they need the help of "Someone older and wiser" cue Homer being his obnoxious self (Oh writers, if there's one thing in life I can depend on, it's your lazy, predictable writing). After Lisa tells Homer that he's just as responsible as they are, Homer decides that he needs to come up with some elaborate plan to kill Patty (And we are officially at the point where this guy is NOT Homer. I know they have bad blood, but they've never wished DEATH on each other, they'd only celebrate it). Lisa, however suggests that Homer just cut the paint out so she gives Homer hedge trimmers (But Lisa, Homer failed miserably when he tried that on someone he loved, what makes you think he'll be successful on someone he hates?)
|Paint Pallet! I choose you!|
|It's just so terrible, I must hide from it|
|Maggie is certainly no Kim|
|I think this speaks for itself|
|Homer no! Don't run with scissors! Don't you remember what happened to Noah?|
|I'm not a stalker! I just want to know her dress size, it has nothing to do with my skin suit I swear!|
|Hooray for lazy writing!|
HEY! GET BACK HERE! You ARE home! . . . um, crap, that didn't work, and we're falling behind schedule. Fine, I'll finish this stupid thing. Anyways, Milhouse asks LINO if this means she likes him and LINO replies by saying, "Life is full of unexpected things" (such as my fifth-grade fanfiction on TV! I wonder if they'll buy my eighth-grade fanfic, where Lisa and Bart hunt demons from Hell!). Milhouse, distracted by love, accidentally falls off the cliff, which frightens LINO. Never fear, dear, the Deus Ex Machina eagle from Lord of the Rings comes to save Milhouse so he can say "Everything's coming up Milhouse!" (... That's two forms of fail right there. One: don't try to shoehorn in a catchphrase from when this show was great. Two: let's say for the sake of argument that you aren't making fun of LoTR. Then where did the eagle come from? The magical world of lazy writing?) Well, let's finish this. Later, we see Herbert and Marge at the Policeman's Ball, with Marge showing off her new haircut. She tells everyone that Julio cut her hair, not Herbert. Cue a cut to Julio as every woman flocks to be his new client (Oh goodie! A cameo by a character nobody likes in a place he doesn't belong in). The episode ends with Herbert giving Marge a salon-style haircut in the backyard as he thanks her for bailing him out, and thus the writers continue to forget that storylines need PROPER endings.
*Walks in* What the hell are you doing? Did you finish my review? I had to, since you walked out. Wait, how long were you out for? That's not the point, let me finish this.
Final Verdict: This episode was terrible, the writing was lazy, the characters were either derailed completely or just not funny, the jokes were forced and terrible, and the storylines were both idiotic and contrived. If there's one positive thing I can think of, it's that it was funnier than last week's episode. But that's like saying a dead businessman is funnier than a dead kid, it's more one is less unfunny than the other. It's really sad when a Fanfiction can be used to fill out an episode and the writers get PAID for it. It just goes to show just how much they don't give a rat's ass.
Final Grade: 1.3/10 Boring main plot plus a subplot that is glorified fanfiction do not make for a good episode.