Friday, May 20, 2011

"Hate Month" Little Big Girl

Black: Kriken
Purple: RBY

Today me and RBY will talk about another one's of Don Payne's disasters which is very forgettable and rather stupid. So RBY, you ready to begin this? What choice do I have? You locked me in this room, remember? Oh good memories indeed, at least I gave you internet access. I've been eating cold pepperoni pizza for four days! And I hate pepperoni! Quit whining.

Let's start with the Lisa subplot, shall we?

I guess. If I can plagiarize a certain reviewer: "What the f*** is wrong with you?"

I assume you mean the writers with that. It really bugged me just how long Lisa allowed that lie to go on for.

Seriously, Lisa's smart and values her integrity.

If Lisa Gets an A taught me anything, it's that she puts integrity over grades (In the long run). I was annoyed just how easily she decided to give up integrity to begin with.

There really wasn't much discussion about it. Even more irksome - sure, she mentioned that the Simpsons had no interesting relatives, but the Bouviers (which sounds French) never get mentioned. What about them? It's family, she can research them.

Well if we even saw her RESEARCH either side that'd be an improvement. But no, she just sits in the middle of the floor and mopes about how her family's boring.

Technically, that night, we see her hit the books, but we don't even really know what she's doing. Yeah, they're labeled, but they seem like generic works, not tomes she could be looking for relatives in.

Why not have Homer call up all the Simpsons in the Tri-county area again? Oh wait, then we wouldn't have had that spectacular line of "By speaking in fork├ęd tongue, I am in heap big trouble!"

Ugh...even the lampshading the derailment inherent in that line afterward didn't help.

In my opinion, there was only one funny bit in that subplot: When Lisa did the "NorthDakotalahoma" only because I like that type of joke in general. Sucks it had to be in this heap of crap.

The ending was just bizarre too - really, it SHOULD have ended right at the school, with Lisa either confessing she lied for the grade, or saying that she could not attend the multicultural event. The thing at City Hall was just painful overall, and that ending? I don't know where to start.

Then I'll start, Lisa feeling that she had to continue the lie was just BS. She already cheated to get her grade, why continue? What does she have to gain? NOTHING! And the fact that she actually went onstage to embarrass herself further was just awful.

I'm shocked at how easily she was forgiven, too. Sure, she's 8 - actually, that reminds me, I'm shocked they put so much trust into her - but even then, she wasted everyone's time, took up a time slot at that convention, and all for selfish desire - a grade. I'm a tad school-obsessed (read as: I cried over my first C), but even I can't believe that.

Well I see this is frustrating you, let's move onto the "Main" plot. Which actually had three different arcs within it, didn't it?

It did: Bart getting a license, Bart driving Homer around, and Bart's relationship with Darcy.

You actually remembered her name?! She was about as interesting as a loaf of bread.

Hey, take that back! I LIKE bread! But, anyways, let's discuss the event that kicked off this plot: the barn fire.

Which time? The padding? Or the actual physics-defying time? They were both ludicrously insulting to our intelligence.

The latter, as that one's actually relevant to our discussion. The fire, as you know, somehow spreads to the town without killing Cletus and family, apparently. The scenes tries a few jokes, which fall flat on their face.

There were two that annoyed me the most, the "I'm flaming!" and "That's where our mom works!" The first one was cringe worthy and the second one just gave me bad ideas.

Considering that some fans have slashed together Lenny and Carl, and other episodes have created rather, uh, "interesting" ideas as to their relationship-

*Cough* The Blue and The Gray *Cough*

-uh, yeah - the idea that they share the same mother is a bit, well....YEAH. Hopefully, we either misheard them, or it's just they're so close as friends that they consider themselves family. Hey, me and my best friend were like that.

Still, stupid line anyways, moving on. Betcha you didn't know fire extinguishers worked that long and that effectively to put out an entire city fire. Where were they in Chicago?

Those magical ones weren't around yet.

I still find it really stupid that not only did Bart want a driver's license (Seriously, I could think of dozens of things he'd want before that) but he could apparently drive the family car no problem. I know there's suspension of disbelief, but come on, cars aren't like bikes, you can't just jump in and screw around a few times and instantly know driving.

While a lot of kids wish they could drive, licenses do not automatically equal knowledge of driving. Should we skip over the subplot of driving Homer around? Aside from a brick joke, it's pretty pointless.

Agreed, now let's talk about North Haverbrook, last I checked, it was a hellhole from the Monorail. But I guess it got better just for Bart's arrival.

Then again, it's been many years since Season 4, sadly. Thing is, there were TONS of towns they could've used or invented. Why the one established as ruined?

No clue. Darcy just annoyed me, she seemed like the writer's attempt to satirize the teenage girl, if the writers viewed teenage girls as middle-aged soccer moms. And all the buildup of Bart and Darcy was to reveal that she was pregnant? Why should I care?

Because the writers said so, and, if you don't, you're a jerk! Wait, or am I thinking of yet another one of Bart's girlfriends?

Probably, you need to get your mind focused on the crap today instead of much better episodes. So many wasted jokes and opportunities for Bart and Darcy, but hey if they had room for those jokes, where would the 5 montages have gone?

On the cutting room floor, I hope.

I will break your spirit yet, and you will be as bitter as I am one day. Final words: The main plot was stupid and unfunny, and the subplot was stupid and out of character for Lisa. Your thoughts?

Well, if I may: there was so much wasted material in this episode. Heritage stories (come to think of it, where was Bart for that?), the relationship between Darcy and Bart, fun on the road.... Just, more than what we got.

Agreed, yet another episode left for the sands of time to forget.

1 comment:

  1. There is one line that kinda pissed me off at the end, where Homer says: 'Oh wait, we really are Indian'. I mean, Homer's not that dumb, and they could've built a lot more on Lisa exploring her European side or something.