Thursday, May 5, 2011

Hate Month: Don Payne Introduction

I said earlier that I would not be doing any reviews in this time period and this is no exception. This is merely an introduction, a short piece where I talk a little about Don Payne's work and why I decided to have him when there are so many worse writers I could bash (I'm looking at you Brian). So with that out of the way, let the hate begin.

I screwed up when to do this, I should have done this last month, but I'm hoping to make up for it this month. The movie Thor (Releases this Friday) does not inspire confidence with me. The director (Kenneth Branagh) is a rather inexperienced director as he only had 13 films under his belt and his last movie was in 2007. I have no real opinion of him as a director (Only film of his I watched was Hamlet and I liked it) but I would think that they would want to put a veteran director behind this (Okay, in fairness I don't know how popular Thor is among comic book fans, but I feel like with Steel, you have to at least try to make a good movie regardless of popularity). This brings me to my second point; the writers. Now two of the writers seem like Siamese twins as they have near EXACT resumes on their respective IMDB pages, they are Ashley Miller and Zack Stentz. Like Ken, they have weak resumes as their biggest claim to fame is Agent Cody Banks... be very afraid people, be very afraid. There are two other writers responsible for the story (Mark Protosevich and J. Michael Staczynski) but I've been putting this one off for far too long, the final writer of this movie; Don Payne.

Don Payne's Work:
I could probably do this alone for his movie writing career (Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer and My Super Ex Girlfriend) but instead let's take a look at the episodes he wrote by himself (The ones he wrote with John Frink don't count here.Also Thursdays With Abie doesn't count as it too was co-written with another writer)

  • Fraudcast News
  • Thank God it's Doomsday
  • Simpsons Christmas Stories
  • Little Big Girl
  • Love Springfieldian Style
  • Take my Life, Please
So what we have here is a bunch of episodes that either; nobody remembers, or they suck. I already covered Take my Life, Please and Simpsons Christmas Stories if you want to see what I thought of them (They're still fair game for this month). 

With all that, I leave you with a question; How does a man with this resume get a huge part in (Probably) a summer blockbuster? The world is cruel at times.


  1. for me, all those episodes that he wrote sucked, with the exception of "thank god its doomsday". i love that episode!

  2. Fraudcast news wasn't as bad as his other ones, there were a few jokes I enjoyed in it.

  3. I still haven't decided on which three I'm going to do yet (The obvious choices are three of the last four). I didn't really place an initial opinion on any of them partly because I don't really remember the first 2 all that well (Hence the "Nobody remembers" but that probably should read "Not really memorable")

  4. Fraudcast News is the best here. I remeber AND like it (my favorite jokes: Squeaky Voice Teen suiciding (WHY DI THEY CANCEL FUTURAMA?!) and Homer singing Wannabe)

  5. If you're gonna review the worst ones, review little big girl, love springfieldian style, and thank god its doomsday. the last one had a horrible ending.