Looking ahead: Upcoming storylines

So the other day I was roaming the internet trying to confirm various upcoming episodes and such, when a certain article article caught my eye:

http://rubbercat.net/simpsons/news/2011/07/the-simpsons-are-going-to-antarctica-2.html

More or less, the second half intrigued me on how many storylines this season would probably be parodies of Classic Simpsons or just ideas just laughed at during writing retreats. A lot of today's storylines are either laughable because of the premise, or just recycled from past plots or lines. Now that doesn't always make an episode bad (See Lisa's Pony and Saturdays of Thunder) but because of an awful writing staff and an attitude of "Money before quality" it's hard to think that these episodes could be remotely entertaining. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the upcoming storylines:

The Falcon and the D'ohman
Now the plot goes as follows:

• Marge fantasizes about being a contestant on "Top Chef" hosted by Tom Colicchio (guest voicing as himself). Meanwhile, Homer befriends Wayne (guest voice Kiefer Sutherland, R), a reserved security guard recently hired by the nuclear power plant. (Source: Foxflash.com)

A slight improvement over "Guest Star in front of random color background"

Oh and somewhere in that convoluted mess, the results from that poll that nobody cares about will be revealed. How sad is it when something that the staff was hoping to raise veiwership takes 3rd fiddle in next season's premiere? It really speaks volume to how little they actually care, they just threw together some stupid relationship plot for a cliffhanger for last year and then completely forget about it until the last minute in favor of guest stars. They've been known to do this for episodes (Recently) where a plot will come to a screeching halt in favor of a cameo, but this is just ridiculous. I didn't care about the Edna-Ned thing, but I'm not writing that, they are and if this episode turns out the way I think it will, it will yet again be a sign of how the staff just has seething contempt for their fanbase.


Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts
The plot:

• Superintendent Chalmers reveals his hero as former President Theodore Roosevelt, who makes an appearance in the episode with the use of archival recordings.

Normally would Teddy Roosevelt have been included on the list of "Guests who made terrible career decisions". Unfortunately Teddy was unable to refuse this and will now have archival footage used in his place. For me, the only president who has ever had a significant role on this show is Woodrow Wilson and I intend to keep it that way.

Lisa goes Gaga

Not much info here (Outside of a Lady Gaga interview) but here's what I've got so far

• Lisa's depressed and Lady Gaga shows up in Springfield to cheer her up (Source)

Yeah because Stealing First Base was such a great concept, they had to do it again with Lady Gaga. That's not even the best part, apparently Lady Gaga will get a scene where she kisses Marge. What's the context of this kiss? Will it serve any purpose outside of fanservice? Oh dear readers, you expect competency out of this writing staff? You expect effort? Tsk, tsk tsk, so far we've got two episodes that look like real stinkers.

Now the rest I cannot associate with the other (But could probably put together based on a little logic) so let's finish with upcoming titles followed by upcoming storylines that aren't officially connected yet:

Titles:

The Food Wife

• Get it? Because it's like The Good Wife only it's food! ugh

The Book Job

• Do they even try?!

Man in the Blue Flannel Pants

• Admittedly this is the most clever title here

The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

• That's not even trying, all you did was change "Percent" to "Per-Cent"

Beware my Cheating Bart

• Okay kudos on actually going with a reference that won't make this dated in 2 months

Moe Goes From Rags to Riches

• I'm sorry, is this episode about Lenny winning a trip to Austria or something?

The Daughter also Rises

• I'm really starting to run out of material here

The D'oh-cial Network

• THERE WE GO! THERE WE GO! You just couldn't let a recent good movie pass by without making a horrible pun title out of it couldn't you?!

Holidays of Future Passed

• Not much to say, but still possibly the best title here

Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson

• And my crystal ball says: Homer will inexplicably be great at something dealing with politics, Mary Sue on line 2, something about her trademark being infringed

Replaceable You

• Same deal with The D'oh-cial Network

Treehouse of Horror XXII

• I guess my only complaint here is that it made it to 22

The Spy Who Learned Me

• ...What?

Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart

• ...Huh?

Upcoming Plots:

The Simpsons find out that everyone in town has become sick of their antics and have come together to decide whether or not they should be exiled to Antartica.

• Ah yes the main reason I brought up that article in the first place. This story is so ludicrous and a failure from the start, I'm going to compare it to the Fanfiction that was written before while reviewing it. P.S. this is the 500th episode

Marge becomes jealous over the fact Homer gets to do all the fun things with the children, while she is stuck doing all the "mom" things. After accidentally enjoying a meal of Ethiopian food, Marge and the children start a food blog, which leaves Homer feeling like the odd one out.

• I... I just... I've got nothing, why don't the writers just write out a script where the family loudly announces to the audience that they're out of ideas and they don't care

Homer and Bart write a fantasy novel, hoping to capitalize on the Tween culture

• If you'll go excuse me I need to prepare a bath while holding a toaster that's still plugged in

Krusty gets his own show on a premium cable channel.

• That guy's still on the show? I thought the staff had completely forgotten about him

Lisa starts her own social network website. Meanwhile Patty and Selma take part in the Olympic rowing, and race against the Winklevoss twins, who are voiced by Armie Hammer.

• SNL's satire with "Tyler Perry" about The Social Network sounds about a thousand times more watchable

30 years in the future Bart will be depicted as a "lousy, deadbeat dad who actually lives in the school, which is now a condominium, and Skinner is his landlord.

• Which is it, a school or a condo? Either way, this show has not had good recent success with "Seeing into the future" episodes and I bet this will follow the trend

Bryan Cranston will play Stradivarius Cain, a suave superspy film character whom Homer sees as an illusion after suffering a head injury, and gives Homer a mission to make himself into the man Marge cannot resist.

• Why wouldn't a Hollywood actor who only pretends to be a spy want to help (And eventually succeed) Homer into being even more Mr. Perfect?

Homer becomes a populist TV pundit with his show "Gut Check with Homer Simpson", and Ted Nugent will play himself as a Republican candidate for President seeking Homer's endorsement.

• Well my prediction about Homer taking on a job that he has absolutely no experience in but is an instant success as soon as he tries was correct *Bites tongue*

Sources:

• http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/07/23/simpsons-comic-con-season-23/
• http://thesimpsonscommunity71818.yuku.com/topic/7265/t/Simpsons-Table-Read-The-Food-Wife-November-11-2010.html
• http://insidetv.ew.com/2010/12/14/simpsons-jane-lynch-guest-star/
• http://www.fox.com/programming/shows/?sh=the-simpsons
• http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/06/02/michael-cera-the-simpsons/
• http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/07/22/armie-hammer-simpsons/
• http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/08/19/bryan-cranston-to-guest-on-simpsons/
• http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/05/04/ted-nugent-the-simpsons-president/
• http://www.metronews.ca/toronto/scene/article/929229--the-simpsons-hits-500-episodes