"Hate Month" All About Lisa

Good God, not this one. We continue our month long segment where I continue to delve into the worst episodes of our good friend John Frink. This episode is notorious among fans as one of the worst episodes of the series and this episode furthered my fear that this show would never be good as long as this writing staff was in place. At the time of its airing, this was considered the worst Lisa episode of all time and considering how many times the writers have screwed her over that's saying a lot. However, today this is NOT the worst Lisa episode in the franchise as there has been another that surpassed this one's suckiness (I'd rather not name it, but you should probably be able to guess which one). With all that out of the way, let's see why it should NOT have been all about Lisa.

So the episode begins with an award show with lines that I think were supposed to be jokes. Inside we get our first bit of narration from Sideshow Mel as he tells us that we should focus in on Lisa after he drops a title placement (Wow, the writers are so creative. For a second I thought this plot would center around Gabo). It is then announced that the winner of "Entertainer of the Year" is Lisa (Wow, must have been a REALLY boring year then. But I digress). So of course, that scene is from the end of the episode so we begin our plot (Over) with a flashback to the family going to Krusty's 4000th episode (You know, there are just WAY too many jokes that this episode lends itself to with "Simpsons going past their expiration date" so I'm just going to keep a counter here and in the end tell you how many jokes I could have made about their crappy episodes). The 4000th episode (Why do I have a feeling that the writers want to get the show to this many episodes?) is then hosted by Drew Carey as he just spews out unfunny joke after unfunny joke (And his cameo is entirely pointless. Remember the days when their cameos made sense? Yeah I'm having a hard time myself). So after a bit with the "Krusketeers" (That joke hurt) Krusty announces that he's going to reboot the "Krusketeers" and the show is searching for a new one (This bit ends with some padding. Hey how nice, the episode is giving me something to lay my head on when I fall asleep from boredom).

Wow, what a great parody, it makes me glad to have watched this show this past decade

The next day, Krusty chooses Nelson (After sleeping with his mom) and this disappoints Bart. Lisa then confronts Krusty and says how it was unfair that Bart was snubbed and Krusty could have hired him as an intern. Krusty then decides to hire Lisa as an intern because... the plot said so? After Krusty gives Lisa a list of chores, she sighs, walks off and SS Mel's narration gives us some annoying exposition. We then cut back to Mel's narration as he narrates about how show business has always had an underpaid assistant (So an assistant of Krusty who's abused by him constantly, becomes famous in their own right? Where have I heard that before? hmmm....) After a bit between Krusty and Lisa, Krusty fires Nelson because... you know what, screw it, their reasoning is stupid. SS Mel then gives Lisa some words of encouragement and he tells her some things to do around Krusty which will put her on good terms with him. After Lisa gives Krusty her necklace thread as floss (Don't ask it's pretty stupid) she gets on his good side. We cut back home where Bart is complaining about how Lisa is Krusty's assistant despite Bart being the bigger fan. Marge then tells Homer to comfort Bart as we see that Bart thinks that now that Lisa has Krusty, he has nothing (Don't worry, you'll still be my favorite drifter).

Oh the irony! His sister is his idol's assistant. You get it, or is this too subtle?

Homer suggests that they get rid of all Bart's Krusty stuff and oddly enough we cut to Homer and Bart selling all Bart's Krusty stuff... Wait what?! Why the hell would Bart agree to this?! I mean he was adamant in burning his Krusty stuff in "Krusty Gets Busted" and this is just way out of character for him to just give Krusty up just because Lisa's his assistant instead of him. I mean could you imagine if Lisa threw her sax out just because there was someone better than her at Jazz? I don't think so! So yeah, at the Comic Book Store, Bart tries to trade his Krusty stuff *Bites Tongue* for an expensive Radioactive Man comic. CBG doesn't like the haggling and counteroffers with a coin collecting book (Yeah I personally hated this concept partially because I don't really care for coin collecting and think it's stupid, but I digress). After CBG takes off his scrunchie (For some reason, I don't know the writers probably thought this was funny or something) Bart and Homer decide to trade for the coin collecting book. We then cut to Krusty as he's impressed about how Lisa cleaned up his dressing room (Wow, that was so necessary. So glad it took up all of 15 seconds!) We then see Bart is disappointed because the hobby takes effort, after Homer gives Bart a pep talk about hobbies killing time (Kill time, alternative to therapy, it's all good) we get a coin collecting montage (Goody, for a second I thought we might have some plot development where Homer tells Bart he enjoys spending time with him or something. But hey, I'm not the highly paid Hollywood writer, what do I know?).

Glad to see this false development appear.

After Bart thinks he's finished the book (With a lot of rare coins... how did he get a confederate dime by the way?) another page reveals itself as the writers realized that the plot couldn't possibly end there (Seriously, this "hidden page" just seems like a cop-out to try to extend an already pointless plot). The coin they're missing turns out to be a rare "Kissing Lincolns" penny (Get it, because the mint somehow printed two pictures of Lincoln to face each other and make it look like they're kissing. Oh the creativity, it never ceases to amaze me just how low they can go). We then cut back to Krusty as his bit gets stalled because Mr. Teeny isn't there. Lisa bails him out by acting as a pirate and squirting Krusty into the pool with a bottle of seltzer water. We then get a bit of narration as the camera pans around Lisa, giving the audience motion sickness and showing Lisa getting high off the laughter (You want a better explanation, because that's what it looks like). After Krusty's agent tries to warn him about Lisa, Krusty gets a call that he's missing a rehearsal for the network and then it dawns on Krusty that Lisa's trying to sabotage him (Wow, ONE time and Lisa already thinks she can take the show from him. That's a lot of arrogance). At the studio, Lisa tries to drop subtle hints that the executives should try her out, right as they're about to leave she changes demeanor and decides to try her own funny bit (Let's see the comedic genius of the writers, er I mean Lisa Simpson).

Great, Lisa's stoned again. Can the director tell Lisa she's facing the wrong way?! The audience is BEHIND her!

Krusty then barges in as we see Lisa (In her ridiculous clown outfit by the way, seriously, what was the director thinking?) telling a "Centipede putting on shoes" joke (Wow, that joke hasn't been told a million times in preschool).  After Lindsey Nagel contradicts what I said, Krusty sees his agent become Lisa's agent as Krusty realizes he's ruined now (No, you were ruined YEARS ago, it's just now people are catching on). The act ends with SS Mel narrating some more about Krusty learning a lesson as we see Moe is immune to his time stopping powers. You know, I realize we are 15 minutes in and there hasn't been any real humor, so enjoy this clip while I go prepare myself for the rest of this. Okay, so we find out that show's been renamed "The Lisa Show" and the show is essentially "Clown Lisa" (I couldn't make this up if I tried, and somehow this outfit is sillier than the previous one) just entertaining the audience with comedy (I can see the ratings now. The first time in history that the ratings are comparable to the host's shoe size). Lisa then approaches SS Mel as Mel transitions from narrating to external dialogue (Watch out Linkara! He's going to knock down the 4th wall you're on) and Lisa goes back out to pad the episode some more (Hey I got just the song for padding, it goes like this: 'Dundun dudundundun! EAT IT EPISODE! Take this stupid little cockroach of an episode, roll it up so tight, and RAM IT UP YOUR-' *Is given tranquilizers by RBY*) I'm better now, let's move on. Through SS Mel's narration, we find out that Krusty is hosting an unsuccessful late night talk show (So this is what Leno's comeback was like). After a scene of Homer and Bart going through some pennies to find the one they're missing, Homer takes Bart to an auction to buy the penny (Why? They saw how rare it was online, what are they expecting the penny to cost $5?) At the auction, Mr. Burns wins the penny but Homer tricks Burns later and takes the penny away from him (Just roll with it, at this point I'm too desensitized by the shear stupidity of this episode to make a joke about this).

Wow, we just wasted 5 minutes of a 20 minute episode. Let's go out for some Frosty chocolate milkshakes to clebrate

After Homer puts the penny in the book, Bart puts the book on the shelf where it's never to be seen again. This makes that entire subplot; *Entirely Pointless*. This also shows just how NOT to end a plot, with no care and no effort whatsoever. We then transition to the beginning of the episode through some SS Mel narrating as Mel approaches Lisa in her dressing room to show her something (No, not that!) Mel then shows Lisa all the previous winners of the award as this is to show that all of them let the award get to their head and they all went on a downward spiral in their career. SS Mel then reveals that he too won the award and advises her to get out of showbusiness as soon as possible. Lisa then gets back to the podium as she sets up Krusty for some jokes and she disappears away with her family as Krusty gets all the attention. The episode ends with a narration from SS Mel saying how he envies Lisa for leaving with her dignity as we see him as a fire hydrant in a skit with Krusty as a dog, classy.

Final verdict: This episode is TERRIBLE. The jokes are non-existent, the main plot is recycled and poorly written with the pacing being erratic. The subplot is terrible and pointless. And the padding is everywhere with nothing to convince the audience to want to watch this episode again, in short, it's unfunny and boring. And for my final count of "Showbusiness jokes with this show" it came out to 13.

Final Grade: 1.6/10 Just unwatchable, plain and simple