So we begin the episode with a bit with Professor Frink that severely dates this episode (But I digress). I especially like how Bart and Homer are actually trying to MURDER one another, i mean I knew their relationship was strained but geez. Frink ages himself to death we get our opening title, and wouldn't you know it, the writers fuck up a task as simple as transitioning to the episode. Already this episode starts off on the wrong foot with an unfunny parody of The Office and it pisses me off.
War and Pieces
We start off this segment with Bart and Milhouse playing a war game on their Wii (No I'm never going to acknowledge that "Zii" parody). Marge then comes in and is disturbed about how violent the game they're playing is (Marge worrying about violence: check). This leads Marge to show Bart and Milhouse board games that they can play instead because they're fun and safe (Yeah, last time I played Monopoly my roommate threw the iron at my head for getting the last Railroad Station). So after a long monotonous scene of the writers showing off their creativity in parody board game titles, Bart finds a board game called "Satan's Path". Yeah I already said how this story reminded me of "Jumanji", I swear the writers don't even try to hide what their story is about, I mean look at the box and the board itself. After Bart takes his turn, the board games shoot out of the house and come to life. We then see Springfield as the board game paradise it became as we partake in some random, yet predictable board game jokes (Yeah this includes our obligatory "Kang & Kodos cameos").
|Satan's Path. The true survival-horror game. From Milton Bradley|
Master and Cadaver
The segment opens with suspenseful music followed by a shark jumping onto Marge's boat (Oh my God, actual terror, where does this go, what will happen to...) oh wait it jumped to spit Homer back onto the boat... what was Homer doing in a shark's belly? So we find out through clunky exposition that Homer suggested that they go on a cruise through uncharted water. So after Marge gives us some fan service (Classy, writers. Plus we get a stupid boner joke... I'm just going to prepare the noose now) we see a random guy rowing a boat near their boat. Marge tells Homer to get him and this results in an unfunny hook joke (Just checking the tightness of this noose here). After Homer gets him onboard, Marge tends to him, and this makes Homer envious, this results in another bit of padding (Bless you lazy writing, always able to pad the episode out another minute or two). We then get the backstory of Roger, we find out he was the chef of a ship named the "Albatross" (Symbolism!) that was owned by a rich businessman.
|I told you. Wait your turn for the pie like everyone else|
|Oh no, we ended up on the Ghost Ship. Let's get out of here!|
So we begin this segment in a forest while it's raining, we get a POV shot of what we're to presume is the vampire (Yeah ominously eating a grilled cheese sandwich... is that supposed to be funny or something?) So the next day, Bart notices that all the girls are smitten at a bland, pale, and otherwise unlikable boy. We find out his name is Edmund (Wow, that's SO clever, I bet it took MONTHS to figure that name out) as he goes over to Lisa and she's immediately smitten as well by his... um... uh... blandness? We then see a bus heading for Lisa and Edmund (Yay! This segment's going to end early!) but then Edward (I've decided that typing Edmund lowers my dignity) stops the bus with his super speed and strength (Yeah, bet you didn't know vampires were super strong during the DAY, did you?) After Edward makes Lisa more of a schoolgirl (Yeah she IS a schoolgirl, but not that kind and it annoys me) we get more scenes of Edward stopping random vehicles heading their direction (Including Otto, wasn't he driving the bus just a second ago? I guess non-canon episodes causes continuity to leave). Edward then takes Lisa to the woods and runs up a tree as he reveals he's a "vampire" (I'd like to point out that Lisa actually has a great amount of vampire knowledge in THoH continuity). So after Lisa's not scared of him, they decide to mock how Edward travels from tree to tree (Great now he's golden age Superman). So after a pointless "Weredog" joke, we see the family preparing dinner for Edward and his father. When they arrive we see that Edward isn't too fond of his father (They did not just make a "Tearing me apart" joke did they?) After dinner (With Flanders as the meal) we get another scene of Edward embarrassed by his father (Geez, this is quickly turning into The Room with its repetitive scenes). Edward then takes Lisa away as Marge tells Homer and Ed's father to go get them.
|Oh no! I'm in a crappy Twilight parody *Screams*|
Final Verdict: This Treehouse of Horror was terrible. The first segment had potential, but all it ended up being was a bunch of predictable and unfunny board game jokes. It didn't take advantage of the idea that it's not a game, hate to say it but Jumanji did a better job with the fear factor of a game coming to life. The second segment had an interesting concept but it was sideswiped by bad sex jokes, the "All Just a Dream" undermined any suspense that it may have built up. But the worst sin of all was the stupid, out of place Clockwork Orange reference, I mean, who just references A Clockwork Orange for no reason? *Looks around* And of course, the last segment was just dull, it really failed to be a parody of Twilight as all it did for the jokes was just lampshade a few stupid things and worst of all, had Lisa as Bella.
Final Grade: 3.4/10 Just pitiful for a Treehouse of Horror, the second segment to me is one of the worst of all time.