Episode 6: The Fool Monty

An episode where people don't care about Mr. Burns' health, what a shock. However,a break from all these Lisa episodes is just what I need right now. Here's hoping that this episode doesn't cause me to gouge my eyes out. Let's do it. 

So after an overly long couch gag (Which has Avatar and 3-D in it so you know the viewers are just going to LOVE it. Is it too early to hate this episode with a flaming passion that burns with the heat of 1,000 suns?)(Has to be worse than 'Tik-Tok', but...) we get a scene with a bunch of media owners where all they do is make bad jokes and reinforce stereotypes of the media (Great this is already pissing me off, and trust me when I say there are plenty of horrible jokes that make me yearn for the comedic genius of John Frink). The media decides to release a disease and decide to blame it on cats (Hurt my cats and DIE)(I've got a new deadly disease right here, it's called a knife in your back, writers). So after an unfunny bit involving Snowball II, we see the media overreact and tell us symptoms that anyone would feel as we transition to more scenes of people overreacting to this (Good God, the media satire in "Bart Mangled Banner" wasn't this bad). After Marge acts as the voice of reason for Homer, we cut to the hospital where I now swear the writers are trying to piss me off. Mr Burns arrives at the hospital where of course, he's given preferential treatment and takes most of the vaccines while he runs over the rest (You know, Mr Burns is an unlikeable guy in the town already, you don't need to make him Eli Roth unlikable).

I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do to save this show.

After Mr. Burns is given the vaccine, his doctor tells him he's dying from a multitude of diseases and only has a few weeks to live (Even though the doctor doesn't appear again, I'm just going to name him "Dull Vincent Price" because I need to do something to keep my interest in this episode). Smithers asks Burns if he should tell the employees about this, but Burns decides he'll tell them the simplest way he knows how: throwing a huge announcement party at his house (Remember when this show used to rely on subtle humor? Yeah, it's hard to remember as well). Burns then makes his announcement and everyone inside is cheering when he says he's being serious (If only Burns represented the show and the audience represented, well the viewers). Burns then tells them that he's going to leave his fortune to create a tree that'll magically create "Burns-fruit" that's poisonous and this causes the guests to melt Burns' ice sculpture in a way that makes anything funny in comparison (And here I thought non sequitors only applied to arguments). So Burns then goes to his room and contemplates why everyone hates him so much (Well I got a list right here: You gouge people, you're miserly, you hit children with your car, you've blocked out the sun, I could go on). We then come back to Mr. Burns attempting suicide as it goes on for so long and is so ridiculous, you'd swear it was supposed to be a dream sequence (Seriously, I half expected for Smithers to wake up and realize it was all a dream). The next morning, Bart finds Burns in the woods where it turns out that Mr Burns' brain is screwed up. After seeing Burns as pathetic as possible, Bart decides to take Burns back home (Didn't this story start off with some sort of "Media satire" or something? Way to waste your entire opening). After Bart gives Burns some new clothes, Marge hears Bart talking to Burns and we get probably the WORST ET reference of all time (Seriously, I wanted to throw my laptop straight across the room when I saw that, it pissed me off so much).

ET phone angry lawyers!

After Marge comes in, the writers decide they need to make their ET parody even clearer to the viewers (Is there any way to use telekinesis to cause the writers heads to blow up?)(You can, but the National Society of Psychics will not defend you in court). After a pointless scene where the we find out that Dick Cheney owns the power plant (Along with a lot of unfunny jokes) we see that people all over the world showed up to spit in Burns' grave despite there not being a body in there, and then "dance" on his grave (I'm just going to find a pillow to put my face in for a bit). After Marge tempts fate, Burns comes into the room scaring the family. After a scene where Marge and Homer debate what to do with Burns, we cut to Town Hall where they vote to abuse him like he did them. Lisa then tries to convince the town otherwise as she lampshades how brave she is to stand up to them (Oh that makes me feel angry!) Lisa then tries to convince the town that Burns is not the same evil man that ruined their lives without success (Including a New Jersey stereotype to oppose her. Sure why not? It's not like these minor characters have to make sense or anything). At Cheney's (I really have to wonder why they decided to put this in) we see that Smithers is a little upset with his new boss as we get our first politics joke of the season (Finally, I was waiting for this, I mean last season was littered with this shit).

Wow, what great political humor! It's so modern as well!

We then cut to a scene where we find out that everyone gets an hour to get revenge on Mr Burns as we begin a semi-montage (Goody). After a few scenes of people using Mr. Burns for their own personal gain, Lisa decides to be kind with him during Homer's turn (I'd like to ask why Lisa doesn't want revenge on Burns. I know they used the excuse of "He's a shell of his former self" but are you honestly going to tell me that Lisa doesn't want the slightest bit of revenge against him for all the stuff he's done against her (And the environment)? I mean come on. Oh and there's a callback to Maggie shooting Burns, I hate this jumbled mess of an episode). Lisa then shows Mr Burns his old mansion as he sees a portrait of himself and his amnesia goes away (Yeah they never quite explain why he's the way he was but I'm calling it "TV amnesia"). We then get a scene where Burns goes to Cheney's to get Smithers back as Cheney gives Smithers an ominous threat for leaving him (And rips off Men in Black as well, can this episode end soon?!)

Only the genius of the new Simpsons writers could possibly make this happen

Burns then approaches Evergreen Terrace in a helicopter as he reveals his plan to get revenge on them is covering the town in a dome... excuse me a moment *Screams out obscenities* ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! You were honestly THAT bankrupt for ideas, you stole from your own movie?! This is without a doubt, some of the LAZIEST writing I've ever seen and some of the most infuriating writing ever (They even take footage from the movie to show the dome approaching Springfield, I mean WHAT THE HELL?!) . Moving on, Lenny lampshades how it's already been done (Nope too late, you've already enraged me, you can't pretend like this is "Simpsons Did it". Wait a minute...)(Oh my God....is that on right now?). After Burns gets out of his chopper, Marge tells Burns that he's already surpassed his 6 weeks to live and she believes it's because he felt good about helping people (Sell your bullshit in the Barney department lady, we have a "mature" show to watch). It turns out that it was his hate keeping him alive and he vows to continue to be evil (So why was the doctor so afraid then if hatred was keeping him alive to begin with? Ow, my brain). We end the episode with Nelson extorting Burns to come to his play as we see the episode off with further padding.

Final Verdict: This episode sucks. The plot is incoherent and a total mess, the jokes are non-existent or are just plain unfunny, and the writing just plains sucks with ideas stolen from previous episodes (As well as footage). This episode is just stupid and shouldn't have been made. Just because this show's been on for 22 years doesn't give it the right to not even try to have an original story.

Final Grade: 3.8/10 This season is looking bleaker by the week