Episode 6: Little Orphan Millie

So with Milhouse's parents divorced and staying divorced, we all expected that to remain a constant throughout the series. Then this episode rolled along, I guess Al Jean hates all things resembling quality so he tries his damn hardest to have the new episodes allude to the old ones, but at the same time try their best to retcon them. With that said, let's take a look at today's episode.

The episode begins with the Simpsons and the Van Houtens all having a picnic when Marge notices a bee on Maggie (Say, this scene has Homer in it, but isn't about him, let's see how long that lasts). Homer tries to calm Maggie away from the bee, only to stand up and get a beehive stuck on his head (Like fucking clockwork). This then leads to him falling in a blueberry patch and rolling himself up in the green picnic blanket (Yeah that bad joke of "Homer looking like Marge" was totally worth the dozens of brain cells that just died). Kirk Van Houten then announces that he and Luann are getting back together (Because as we all know, season 19 is FAR superior to season 8... I'm just going to go punch a wall for an hour). Then again, the saving grace is that nobody CARED about this episode, so in reality, they're still divorced. After some banter between Milhouse and his parents, we see Homer trying to get ready for the wedding. Marge suggests that he wears a tie that goes with her eyes and thus begins the subplot of Homer (And the audience) trying to figure out Marge's eye color (Okay, I've got this one. Her eye color is black, there, problem solved).

Come on Marge! There's no time for peek-a-boo now

After Marge needlessly runs into a bunch of things (Senseless violence = humor) we go to the wedding where Marge again complains about Homer not knowing her eye color. Okay, I've got to ask a question. Does this seem out-of-character for her to anyone else? She knows he's flawed when it comes to remembering things and she's forgiven him for worse things. I just feel that Marge being bitter towards Homer over a small detail like that is just very out-of-character for her. After an unfunny re-marriage (Just keep padding this out) we see Kirk and Luann going on a cruise and leaving Milhouse with the Simpsons (Hey Marge isn't covering her eyes. Quick Homer! Go look into her eyes, oh wait, the director forgot that detail, silly me). Back home we see Homer telling Bart and Milhouse a bedtime story as they're roasting their continuity-defying marshmallows.

Bye everyone, we're leaving forever

They then both go to sleep (At first glance I thought they were in the same sleeping bag, but considering what happens in Double, Double, Boy in Trouble, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case) Milhouse expresses how he feels happy that his parents are back together again (That's the cue for a predictable "ironic" event). On the cruise, we see Luann and Kirk are both a bit tipsy as Kirk tries to carry Luann into the room, but happen to stumble through the hallway, and through a very small casino onto the deck where apparently railings are non-existent and they fall over. Okay, there's just too much bullshit to complain about here, so I'll make this quick:

• If you were ever on a cruise that shaky, the boat's probably made of wood and from the 1700's
• I think Kirk took a grand total of 7 steps through a casino, even a dorm room requires more than 7 steps from one end to another
• Momentum doesn't work that way, even in cartoon physics

Hey, think of the bright side, that could've been the second Titanic

Okay, stupid scene over, let's continue. After we see Kirk and Luann in the ocean, we cut back home where Bart and Milhouse find a hole and it leads to them flushing a bunch of spiders out of another hole, which interrupts Lisa's and Jannie's tea party (Well that was pointless and not too humorous, way to kill about 30 seconds there). We then see a car driving towards the home in a scene straight from Saving Private Ryan as the men inform Milhouse that his parents were lost at sea (Huh, no Castaway jokes, I thought that would have been more appropriate). And because death isn't funny, Bart comes by to spray Milhouse with a hose until he's told that Milhouse's parents may have died (I love how they always manage to take away any emotion from a scene with so little effort). The men then tell Milhouse that they'll try to look for them, but it's doubtful they will be able to find them (Eh, they're probably partying with Tom Hanks and Wilson right now). After Marge and Homer decide to take Milhouse in (Do they have any other choice?) we cut to the next morning where Homer does his best to act like a complete asshole in listing all the things they have with sea-related names (Just more filler for you, because real jokes or substance requires effort). Marge and Bart try to cheer Milhouse up, but Milhouse has decided that going emo is better (I swear if he goes emo Peter Parker, I quit).

Whose that dork?

It's Milhouse!
Milhouse: Pain is the only way to feel

After Maggie gives Milhouse her bottle, Milhouse realizes he needs to grow up and put the death of his parents behind him...wait what? We then go to Homer looking for the photo album as Marge has put a lock on the wedding album and Homer doesn't know the combination. The next day, we see Milhouse wearing a black leather jacket standing under a tree being about as interesting as Edward Cullen (Crap Milhouse has become emo Peter Parker). After Lisa seems intrigued by Milhouse's new emo personality (Why must they try to get them together?) Nelson insults Milhouse, but Milhouse's apathetic dialogue causes Lisa to fawn for him some more (Screw previously established character development... ugh). Milhouse tells Nelson to beat him up and Nelson can't bring himself to do it. Nelson then tells Bart that he's been replaced as the coolest kid in school and Bart feels that Milhouse won't threaten him for that title (Thanks for setting up the plot Bart, here's your check, have a nice day). After Bart gets left alone at lunch, we see that emo Milhouse truly is the most popular kid now (I blame Twilight for allowing these pseudo-philosophical emo kids to be considered cool) After Bart literally begs for attention (Like father, like son I guess) we get to see Marge dance with Bart to try to cheer him up (That's an image that'll never leave my mind). Later, Bart decides that he needs to get Milhouse back to what he was before, but is interrupted by Homer being hypocritical in telling Bart to just think his thoughts (No, not ironic, that would imply his bit was funny). Bart decides to call Milhouse's Danish uncle to try to make Milhouse happy again, and thus unpopular.

Can you tell me who this "Indiana Jones" guy is? I'm Indiana Joe

At the airport, Bart thinks a big nerd is the uncle, but is surprised when Indiana Jones, er I mean Norbert Van Houten comes in via his own bi-plane. After Norbert punches out the nerd (Because he was so funny...) we cut to the park where Norbert tells Milhouse he's there for him and Milhouse decides that he doesn't need Norbert, which makes Norbert proud of Milhouse and makes Milhouse even more popular (Don't these girls have some sparkly vampires to swoon over?) Back home, Homer still can't figure out Marge's eye color, until Grampa on a hammock tells him that he wrote a song for Marge. Homer recites the song and remembers her eyes are Hazel, Marge hears that and she forgives Homer (Oh thank God it's over, that subplot was so intense).

~I always feel like, someone's watching me~

After Uncle Indy (New name for him) lets Milhouse fly hi bi-plane, Bart asks Lisa why he's jealous of Milhouse. She tells him that he loves Milhouse and after some denial, Bart admits that he does love Milhouse (And thus more Yaoi Fanfic was created). The next day at school, Skinner announces that Milhouse is leaving to go live with Uncle Indy. As theyleave via hot-air balloon (I know something else that's full of hot air) Bart grabs onto the rope and tells Milhouse he doesn't want to see him leave. Bart goes along with them and the hot-air balloon ends up colliding with Luann and Kirk's attempt to get off an island they were apparently stranded on the entire time (No Wilson, I'm saddened by this). Milhouse reverts back to his babyish ways when he sees his parents and all is saved when Uncle Indy announces he radioed for help. The episode ends with Kirk and Uncle Indy getting into a fight because of some ethnic issue or something.

Final Verdict: This episode was bad, but not terrible, it could have been far worse. The subplot was annoyingly pointless and mundane, the idea to reunite Milhouse's parents was dumb and poorly executed and the whole "Milhouse is a dark, misunderstood outcast" was just ludicrous. But in the end, it's not something that's mind-numbing nor is it really worth your time.

Final Grade: 3.7/10 If it didn't have "Emo Milhouse" I think it would have been better

Episode 20: Homer Scissorhands

I really don't want to do this one. This episode is just so... annoying. Homer as a barber and Lisa jealous of Milhouse? Did the writers forget what they were writing? But I promised I'd stick through to the end, so let's take a look at this stinker and get it over with.

The episode begins (After a 2:10-long opening, mind you. Is it too early to hate this episode with a flaming passion that burns with the heat of a thousand suns?) where Lisa decides to paint Patty and Selma for... I don't know why, I guess the writers forgot what "Character motivation" means (and it won't be the last time, I assure you). After Patty and Selma go to sleep, Bart decides this would be the perfect time to annoy Lisa while she paints. Somehow Lisa subconsciously paints Bart into the painting (More like a bad photoshop effect if you ask me) and Lisa then decides to put gravity-defying paint on her pallet and throws it at Bart which swings around a la a boomerang and follows him homing missile style until it lands in Patty's hair (Physics is for losers). After failing to get the paint out themselves, Lisa decides that they need the help of "Someone older and wiser" cue Homer being his obnoxious self (Oh writers, if there's one thing in life I can depend on, it's your lazy, predictable writing). After Lisa tells Homer that he's just as responsible as they are, Homer decides that he needs to come up with some elaborate plan to kill Patty (And we are officially at the point where this guy is NOT Homer. I know they have bad blood, but they've never wished DEATH on each other, they'd only celebrate it). Lisa, however suggests that Homer just cut the paint out so she gives Homer hedge trimmers (But Lisa, Homer failed miserably when he tried that on someone he loved, what makes you think he'll be successful on someone he hates?)

Paint Pallet! I choose you!

However, Homer is able to not only cut the paint out of Patty's hair, but also give her a new look as well (... So the man who could not cut hair with scissors can suddenly cut hair with HEDGE TRIMMERS? That's like saying Michael J. Fox can write a legible document with Boxing gloves). You know what, let's just call this impostor Herbert (His twin) for the rest of this review. After Herbert wakes Patty up in the unfunniest way possible (Stop explaining the jokes, they aren't funny to begin with and explaining them makes them less funny) Patty is shocked at first at her hair, but accepts it after thinking it looks cute (Still doesn't forgive the fact that Herbert cut your hair without your permission, oh wait in wonderful world of Marisuville, nobody has issues with the main character, my mistake). Selma then asks Herbert to "Do me" as Herbert puts the hedge trimmers to his throat, however Selma explains that she wants Herbert to cut her hair (Hey Joker, any thoughts?) We then cut to Springfield Elementary where a decent joke about Bart ruining the slide is interrupted by Milhouse's emo side (The ONE joke I actually liked from this episode just has to be interrupted by Milhouse's whiny side). Milhouse tells Bart that last night he had an experience that changed his life forever, he watched... the first chapter of Finding Nemo (*Needle Scratch* Wait what?!) Milhouse then informs Bart that the implied death of Nemo's mom caused him to have an existential crisis (Remember when this show could actually make fun of stuff that was older than ten years? Yeah I'm starting to forget that a little too).

It's just so terrible, I must hide from it

Apparently, the mere idea of implied death in a Pixar movie is so frightening to Milhouse he hides himself in the couch and has to be rescued by the fire department (Anytime you'd like to add humor to this episode writers, you'd have my undivided attention). Milhouse decided that he needs to live life to the fullest and proclaim his love to Lisa and know her feelings towards him (*Pulls out a huge stack of papers* Take your pick for which time he already has done this) After Bart points this out, Milhouse claims he was being too subtle (Yeah these writers can talk about subtlety. Their version of subtlety makes Anvilicious look inconspicuous) Later we see the family (Along with Patty, Selma and Grampa. But don't worry about what point Grampa has being there, the writer magically wrote him out of the next scene) as everyone's complimenting Patty and Selma's new haircuts. Suddenly, A random woman (Never named, let's call her Ms. de Vyse) comes barging in and tells Herbert to give her a haircut as she sits right where Grampa was sitting (Are you too lazy to write characters out of scenes? Does the term "Character motivation" sound more like a Japanese dish to you? Then sign up to be the next great writer on The Simpsons, they might get around to looking at your application in 5 years). After an unfunny joke about money, Herbert begins to cut Ms. de Vyse's hair to the tune of Edward Scissorhands as Maggie treats the hair like snow (Somewhere Johny Depp and Winona Wyder are crying).

Maggie is certainly no Kim

So I just want to recap something here, Herbert gave TWO haircuts with HEDGE TRIMMERS and gossip around the DMV allowed a random woman to not only know where Herbert lives, but also when he'd eat dinner and know that he'd even be able to give her the haircut she wants. I'm just going to set up my "Instant Expert" meter down here, it's rather high right now and I expect it to be off the charts by the end of the review (These meters can only be made to go so high). After another unfunny reference to Edward Scissorhands ("Call me Homer Fingerhands"... somewhere, Tim Burton wants to commit suicide) Herbert tells Marge that he's loved hair all his life and regrets pulling his hair out when he was in high school (Great, now you're making And Maggie Makes Three cry, I hope you're happy, episode) Afterwards, Herbert buys a foreclosed shop and calls it "Are we Hair Yet?" (Few things. One, how does Herbert afford this? Does he even still work at the Power Plant? Two, really? You're going with that? That's not even a funny bad pun, that's just stupid). We then go to the school where Milhouse decides to announces his love for Lisa in front of everyone in the cafeteria (I think we all know where this is going, place your bets now). After we see that Lisa's embarrassed (Including Lisa doing a double facepalm, the writers are being very generous for this review), Milhouse decides to sing her a love song with a theremin which causes Lisa to become even more embarrassed (I'm getting embarrassed just watching this).

I think this speaks for itself

After the song, Lisa tells Milhouse that she doesn't love him and probably never will (Well that makes sense, in Lisa's Wedding she made it clear that even in High School she never loved him. Let's see how quickly they can piss on that future continuity). Milhouse then steps down and then meets a girl named Token Love Interest, er, I mean Taffy (Either name works well, both aren't interesting and don't deserve our attention). Taffy tells Milhouse how beautiful his song was and helps him take the theremin back (You can play a drinking game here, take a shot for every line of hers that isn't funny; so far, that's four shots). We then cut to Herbert'shair salon as he's cutting some women's hair and listening to gossip from his clients (If you're wondering why I only said that, it's because there aren't any jokes to be found). Back home, Herbert tells Marge that he can't really listen to Marge because he's sick and tired of listening to people talking (~Boring, this is boring, this is boring, get to the point~). At school, Milhouse and Taffy pass by Lisa and Bart as Lisa becomes a bit suspicious of Taffy because Lisa says she's a popular fifth grader (Taking up "Character Development 101" at the Uwe Boll school of writing I see. Oh by the way, take another shot). At this point I'm just going to call Lisa, LINO (Lisa In Name Only) because this behavior just really uncharacteristic of her. After LINO hurts her back while picking up her books (In an attempt at humor, attempt mind you) we cut to Herbert's salon as we get, here's a shocker, Herbert cutting women's hair while they gossip (Why fix something that's not broken? I'm sure the audience will eventually be brain dead enough to find unfunny repetitive things funny at some point).

Homer no! Don't run with scissors! Don't you remember what happened to Noah?

Herbert then snaps as he runs out of the salon with his scissors and cuts random things, including wires on a suspension bridge to which he replies "These are some really good scissors" (No Herbert, that's just lazy writing, learn the difference). At Moe's Herbert tries to forget about the salon, but is able to see all the flaws associated with everyone there as text balloons and he runs out (Any point to that scene? Nope? Didn't think so, let's move on). The next day, Herbert decides he needs to close down his salon as Clancy Wiggum and Sarah come to have Sarah's hair cut. Herbert says no, which leads to 25 seconds of pure annoyance which the writers mistake for humor (Think of the annoying scene in Good Burger if you want a good comparison. Only problem is that the Good Burger scene lasts for only 15 seconds). Lenny then comes into the hair salon and asks Herbert why he's still there. Lenny then suggests to Herbert that he drive away the customers by doing exactly what he does at work: a terrible job (So the writers ARE aware he has a job at the Power Plant. It's like they know they can be terrible at this and we just have to sit here and accept it). So Herbert "Tries" to screw up cutting Hellen Lovejoy's hair, but is unable to (The "Instant Expert" gauge just went off the chart and is now low on the "Mary Sue" gauge). You know, a story about hair CAN be funny, let's take the Ullman short of Bart's Haircut, it was funny because he got a bad haircut. You know what's NOT funny? Doing it right, where's the humor in Herbert always succeeding? It's boring!

I'm not a stalker! I just want to know her dress size, it has nothing to do with my skin suit I swear!

After Herbert fails to kill himself (Dammit! I was hoping this imposter would stop ruining Homer's image) we cut to LINO (At night mind you) looking up Taffy as she suspects that she's just using Milhouse somehow because she could get any fifth grader she wants (Uwe Boll is just so proud of you guys. Why show us her character, when Lisa could just exposite it to use numerous times?) LINO decides that she needs to figure out what's going on so she decides to go "Boots on the ground" and puts on a pair of pink boots... *Angry Stare* Later, Marge tries to comfort Herbert as he's going insane from the hair salon (And Ms. de Vyse decides to show up to say "I'll even buy products!" I guess Uwe Boll also taught them the art of his humor as well). The next day (Oh wait, LINO has her pink boots on. But it's daylight now, *checks back to computer scene*. Dear Lord, they can't even keep continuity within their SUBPLOT. This either indicates that the police ball was not "Tonight" or Lisa can apparently go back in time to stalk people. Either answer goes to show just how little the writers really care), we see Milhouse and Taffy hike up a mountain (Taffy gives Milhouse an inhaler and they continue on. Take another two shots) as LINO (Dressed in camouflage with her pink boots *Sobs*) follows them up the mountain. At "Holding Hands Point" *Forced laughter* LINO thinks she catches them but in reality she catches Lunch Lady Dorris and Moleman together (What did I say about Lunch Lady Dorris?) She is then spotted by Milhouse and Taffy as Taffy cannot believe LINO's with them again (Wait again? When did we see her with Milhouse and Taffy before, when she wasn't supposed to be? That's a rather big plot hole there, writers. By the way, another shot).

Hooray for lazy writing!

Milhouse tells LINO that they're through as Taffy tells Milhouse that he's still not over her and that they're through (Yes because when one is being stalked, that person is CLEARLY not over their stalker. Truly this writing is worthy of Season 4). Taffy leaves and Milhouse asks why LINO has to make him miserable (Two last shots, neither of her last lines were funny). LINO, trying to figure out why, decides to kiss Milhouse on the lips... OKAY FUCK IT! I'M DONE! I'M NOT FINISHING THIS REVIEW! FUCK THIS EPISODE AND FUCK THE WRITERS, I'M GOING HOME!

HEY! GET BACK HERE! You ARE home! . . . um, crap, that didn't work, and we're falling behind schedule. Fine, I'll finish this stupid thing. Anyways, Milhouse asks LINO if this means she likes him and LINO replies by saying, "Life is full of unexpected things" (such as my fifth-grade fanfiction on TV! I wonder if they'll buy my eighth-grade fanfic, where Lisa and Bart hunt demons from Hell!). Milhouse, distracted by love, accidentally falls off the cliff, which frightens LINO. Never fear, dear, the Deus Ex Machina eagle from Lord of the Rings comes to save Milhouse so he can say "Everything's coming up Milhouse!" (... That's two forms of fail right there. One: don't try to shoehorn in a catchphrase from when this show was great. Two: let's say for the sake of argument that you aren't making fun of LoTR. Then where did the eagle come from? The magical world of lazy writing?) Well, let's finish this. Later, we see Herbert and Marge at the Policeman's Ball, with Marge showing off her new haircut. She tells everyone that Julio cut her hair, not Herbert. Cue a cut to Julio as every woman flocks to be his new client (Oh goodie! A cameo by a character nobody likes in a place he doesn't belong in). The episode ends with Herbert giving Marge a salon-style haircut in the backyard as he thanks her for bailing him out, and thus the writers continue to forget that storylines need PROPER endings.

There, fixed.

*Walks in* What the hell are you doing? Did you finish my review? I had to, since you walked out. Wait, how long were you out for? That's not the point, let me finish this.


Final Verdict: This episode was terrible, the writing was lazy, the characters were either derailed completely or just not funny, the jokes were forced and terrible, and the storylines were both idiotic and contrived. If there's one positive thing I can think of, it's that it was funnier than last week's episode. But that's like saying a dead businessman is funnier than a dead kid, it's more one is less unfunny than the other. It's really sad when a Fanfiction can be used to fill out an episode and the writers get PAID for it. It just goes to show just how much they don't give a rat's ass.

Final Grade: 1.3/10 Boring main plot plus a subplot that is glorified fanfiction do not make for a good episode.

Episode 17: The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly

I got nothing. I'll admit I don't know what I was thinking when I first reviewed this. Neither plots are original, it's not that funny, it drags and drags at times, the characters are rather boring. I should hate this episode, and yet I don't hate it. My best guess though is that I was so desensitized that the idea of a story reminiscent of the good years seemed like a plus to me. Now that I've had more time to think about it though, this episode is rather stupid. So let's take another look at this.

We start off with Bart and Milhouse outside the school with power drills, having unscrewed all the screws in the entire building (I'd rather not ask how long it took, but it must have been an all-nighter). We then see chaos and destruction ensue, and Milhouse gets caught by Skinner when he's trying to return the power drills (There are attempts at jokes here, but the key word is "attempts"). In Skinner's office, Chalmers and Skinner try to get an accomplice out of Milhouse but he refuses to talk and is suspended for a week (That's a rather light punishment for destroying the whole school I gotta admit)(What do you expect from Springfield?). After Willie takes Milhouse out of the school (Dead Man Walking style, I don't know why they included it, I never saw the movie), Bart goes to visit Milhouse outside of his window and apologizes for allowing him to take the fall and says he'll make it up by visiting him every day (Milhouse waves a la Dumbo's mother. How far are we in this?)(I bet that Bart forgets this). After Homer picks up Bart, he drops him off at the retirement home to visit Grampa (I don't know why, makes no sense to me).

Keep me from the gallows pole

Bart initially wants to leave, but then he sees this girl named Jenny, he immediately goes over and talks to her, falling in love with her (Of all the girlfriends Bart has had she's not the worse. At the time she was, but now that honor goes to Bipolar Bitch). Back home, Lisa finishes her homework early so she starts her project on what the future will be like and she starts to get scared when she sees all these stories about how the world will suck (The site must be owned by Al Gore)(Nope, that sounds like CNN and FOX...and NBC..and CBS...and...). Back at school, we see Bart watching Jenny as Nelson comes by to make some unfunny sex innuendos to Bart about Jenny (None of which are funny, this is a comedy right?)(Aren't these guys in fourth grade? I mean, it's been a while for me, but...). After Bart asks out Jenny to picnic, Bart tells Willie, so Willie tries to one-up him with his Swedish supermodel girlfriend (Which he apparently has. Also, I'd rather not know why Bart decided to tell Willie of all people). Later we see Lisa spaz out as she rants like a lunatic about how there will be no Springfield in 50 years (Hey if she did it next to an underpass, people would listen and give her money)(To be fair to her - if we're lucky, that'll be true. 70 seasons of The Simpsons? I like 'em, but.....).

You guys keep this show running. I've been 8 for 22 years for Christ sakes! Let me grow up!!

After Skinner tells Lisa she needs to go into therapy (Hey finally some good advice for us, we all need intensive therapy after this shitty season) we see Bart and Jenny on their picnic as they're having a good time by the lake (Say wasn't Bart supposed to visit Milhouse often or something like that?)(I win my bet!). We then see Bart rescue a duckling because the bullies are torturing it and Jenny wants Bart to save it (That was necessary). Moving on, we see Lisa going to therapy with Marge and Homer as the therapist tells the parents to just give Lisa some happy pills (Wow, whenever I go to therapy, my therapist tells me to work things out before she busts out the pad... forget I just said that)(Beats how my sessions go - uh, you didn't read that). After Lisa says yes to the drugs (Okay I know I should be calling this out for the idiotic "Lisa doesn't take pills" bit, but really I'm not that bothered with it because she really has a "I'm depressed and doesn't care"), we see her given a pill right before she leaves for school. She takes it on the bus causing her to hallucinate happy things (That's called weed, writers)(Think it'll destroy the memories better than alcohol?).

This is how the world would look if the Disney company had their way

Later that night we Bart setting the table because he's trying to act like a nice guy for Jenny (Paging Jessica Lovejoy). At dinner, Jenny begins to see how dysfunctional the family is (Homer being an idiot and Lisa being high... goody) when all of a sudden a thunderstorm comes by and the doorbell rings (After Jenny said "Nothing can change my opinion of him", dude, that's like Satan's calling card). Bart goes to get the door to reveal it's Milhouse (Hey the writers remembered him) and Milhouse is mad at Bart for not holding up his promise as Jenny comes to the door right after he says that (Ah convenience would we be without it?). Milhouse and Bart then start talking about how Bart didn't visit Milhouse and Milhouse finds out about Bart's feelings for Jenny (Remind me again, what's her personality like again? Sweet and innocent? Not enough!). Milhouse then ominously walks away. Later, at the church bake sale, Bart joins Jenny at her table when Milhouse comes in to try to subtly (Well as subtle as a brick to the face can be) point out that Bart is bad. This causes Bart's conscience to act up and he leaves.

Wal-Mart called, they want their mascot back

Back at the house we see Lisa lying on her bed stoned (I don't blame her, if I had to exist in this season I'd try whatever I could do to escape from reality as well); she sees a smiley face and tries to kiss it, but it turns out it's an open fan (Being held up by Maggie... Since when has Maggie ever wanted to harm Lisa?). Marge comes in and takes the pills away from Lisa (Wow, that subplot lasted for all of three short scenes, glad to know it had to be in). Okay, this may sound incredibly stupid, but I would have actually liked to see this as a real subplot, well maybe not this particular drug, but maybe something along the line of expanding on her little pep-pill problem from The Canine Mutiny. Maybe I'm reaching here, but at this point I'd rather see that over half the shit in this season. Anyways, back to the review, Bart and Jenny go to the docks (because sea-level gives Milhouse nosebleeds apparently) as Milhouse is there anyways causing Bart to confess to Jenny that he's really a bad boy.

Look I'm sorry things can't work between us, but Milhouse and I were meant for each other

Jenny is shocked and she dumps him because he lied to her (And we never see her again, goodbye forgettable, bland character, we won't miss you). Bart goes to the Kwik-E-Mart (a la Moe's) until Lisa tells him that he needs to straighten things out (Because the writers had to connect these two plots somehow). Bart gets a bouquet of roses and heads out. Bart gives the roses and an apology to Milhouse. Milhouse forgives him, and they decide to make up by turning the school into an ice rink (Wow, I feel like I just stumbled into a Simpsons slash fic).

Final Judgment: This episode is extremely unoriginal, but to be quite honest, it's not the worst I've seen this season. Don't get me wrong, this sucked, but I'd take this episode over half of the shitty "Original" episodes the writers spew out of their asses. The writing is very bland, the jokes are practically non-existent, and the stories just aren't interesting. It's a very forgettable episode and just another standard Modern Simpsons episode.

Final Grade: 2.8/10 just very 'meh' and not worth it