Episode 21: Ned 'N Edna's Blend

Oh joy, an episode about "Nedna" quite possibly the only romance more awkward than Twilight. But I tell a lie,  I mean, if I squint hard enough... eh nevermind it's not there. Anyways, this didn't look fun when I first saw the preview, so does the episode actual surpass expectations? Let's find out. Oh and BTW, I will be doing the BINGO again this week

Opening Sequence: 1:42 (One step forward, two steps back)

The episode begins with an audition for a play ran by that guy nobody remembers from that episode nobody remembers (Okay, it's Smoke on the Daughter and damn me for somehow knowing that without Wikipedia). After Bart asks why he has to participate, Marge insists that the Passion of The Christ is the best story, to which Bart and Homer start listing off random current events, and by current, I mean 1 year or so old (Telling jokes and saying random things are two separate ideas)(x). So Ned tries out for Jesus, but the guy turns him down as he says he doesn't resemble Jesus. He then starts saying things that Jesus would do, which prompts Homer to come back and think that he should try out for Jesus. Oh and for good measure they include a Twitter reference because their target audience wasn't born before 9/11 and have the attention span of a rock unless random culture and technology references are made. Yeah this joke is horrible and I sorta feel bad for whatever schlock intern at FOX has to update that twitter account with unfunny garbage because the staff needs to "Connect" with their audience. Seriously, these types of jokes are about as funny as watching a 70-year-old man try to be "with it" by wearing the fashion from 2008, attempting to use a smart phone, and trying to use a skateboard. It's not funny, so much as it is painful to watch. Okay, long rant over a pathetic joke over, moving on.

Hey look! A Twitter reference therefore they're "with it" right?

So Homer barges onto the stage like a jerkass and is instantly handed the part(x)(x). Later, Homer goes more jerkass as all he can think about is the costume he's been given to wear (I seriously want him to be crucified by the end of the episode. But knowing the writers, he'd come back to life on the third day since he's Jesus to them). So Lisa tries to tell Homer to take the role serious as pissing off Christians would be like wearing and Florida State shirt to a Florida game. You mean an Oregon State shirt to an Oregon game right? I mean you guys totally believe Springfield is in Oregon because you insisted on it after misinterpreting the interview. Why would an Oregon native understand a Florida reference? Eh I don't believe that, I just like screwing with their non-logic and pointing out the gaping holes from their stupidity. So Homer realizes he's in deep shit and starts crying (Okay I'm adjusting my card, this should have been one of the spots, the writers fall back on this a lot) then Homer spouts out "Why do I succeed at everything I audition for?" I have an answer: The writers are total hacks who have no clue what to do if Homer isn't the center of attention despite there being a large, diverse cast of characters with just as diverse personalities for a diverse amount of roles. Any questions?

Wiggum: Ugh, not this guy. Just kill him and do it quickly

So the play goes on and after Homer says ONE line, everyone in the audience is moved...okay, just relax, he's bound to screw up and make that blatant asskissing utterly pointless. So after he's given the cross and thorns, he continues his Broadway performance... must... hold back... rage... Homer then is crucified and as Ned is praying for forgiveness of his pride and doubting of Homer... dammit all... Homer then falls down onto Ned (x) and the director just comes out to distract the audience. No, you can't distract the people from how awful that writing was. So Ned is rushed to the Hospital and as Edna tries to get in, she's told only immediate family is allowed to ride as she tells him she's his wife as she then flashes a wedding ring. HOLY CRAP THE PLOT! It only took them 7 minutes to get there with the opening act having NOTHING to do with the rest of the episode. I'll take it basic storytelling is no longer required to pass writing classes. Also, isn't it so nice that in between September and May of this season they decided to mention this all of TWO times?! I think a lot of people forgot this was even a thing until this episode. At the Hospital, Ned and Edna are happy that their marriage is out in the open. Truly this is a love for the ages as demonstrated by all those scenes of them together, let's see them all... oh right, they don't exist... but they're destined for each other, right?!

Edna: You jelly Marge?

So after some more pathetic dialogue from Homer (Hey America, we had a vote on this, remember? Please laugh at our callbacks to horrible writing) Marge asks why they didn't say anything. Ned explains that everyone makes a big deal out of everything and faster than you can say Supercalifrag- Kent Brockman  and a bunch of other people show up for no discernible reason. Uh, characters HAVE been married before, I mean Apu was married and got nothing, heck even more recent was the Van Houtens getting back, nothing on them. Ah forget it, this is the same staff that would light up cigars for the 525th episode and paint the town yellow for the 550th. After that pointless scene, we see the family having dinner as the kids don't exactly approve of the idea of Edna as their mom. Marge comes over to offer them a celebration for their marriage. Edna accepts as the only guests to their wedding were Ned's parents as apparently they have the same "Diddly" speech that Ned does... NO! Ned got that from the THERAPY because of his parents. You got the designs right, how did you screw up the rest? So after that Family Guy cutaway gag Ned agrees as Homer decided he needs Ned's stuff to complete the party (Why bother asking? He could just steal it).

Bart: I heard the plot needs to be moved along, so I just decided to pop up.

Later, we see Edna trying to entertain the kids on a rainy day, but since they're afraid of butterflies and believe that iron helps them play, her ideas get shot down. Bart shows up (Out of nowhere) to tell Edna to take them out to the real world, she doesn't think she needs to until Todd crashes his tricycle with training wheels.... let's move on. We then see Marge and Lisa at a wedding store as several women are jealous of the fact that Marge got to plan the party and Marge tells them to deal with it. Edna then goes to the Leftorium as Ned tells her he'll be staying late and he needs her to go to the parent-teacher conferences for him. Well that should be fun, seeing Edna talk to herself about how Rod is doing well in her classes and whatnot. Wait, they apparently go to a Christian school... I'm pretty sure they go the Springfield Elementary unless a transfer happened offscreen. That or the writers are very lazy and hate consistency, neither would surprise me. So at the conference, Edna gets a bit concerned about the teaching methods, and it's only confirmed when the teacher brings an astronomy map that involves religious figures including Tim Tebow in a green shirt. Thank God for digital coloring or else him in a Bronco's shirt would have made their joke dated before it even aired. Oh and to those who thought that the red X's through the female and black candidates in the "Politically Inept" episode was a joke about racism and sexism and not a quick-fix, you can all kiss my ass. Sorry, a bit uncalled for, let's move on.

Oh what a timeless joke, surely this joke doesn't have a 1 year expiration date, right?

So Edna pulls them out and decides to transfer them to Springfield Elementary without Ned's approval, as you'd expect he doesn't like the move, but accepts it. I don't know why he'd have a problem with it seeing as how they were there for a long time, but whatever. Later that night, Ned has a nightmare (As demonstrated in an easy to read title) which is- OH DEAR GOD! Claymation? NO! Just, NO! Did you not learn your lesson with the puppets from the Christmas episode? Just stick with your half-assed animation. So we see that Todd graduated from a real College with a degree that Ned did not approve of... so what was the point of it being claymation? There was NO purpose outside of the Davey and Goliath reference. I'm sure that was worth every penny of your sinking budget that'll not be saved by Lady Gaga next week (One week of decent ratings does not save a show). So we see the extravagant party (Because the Simpsons live in luxury and can afford anything they want) as everyone seems to be having a good time. Marge goes to talk to Ned and Edna as it turns out that after a few days in public school, Rod and Todd are already back talking Ned and getting temporary tattoos... establishing shots? What are those?

A married couple having a fight? Well I never-

Ned and Edna get into a small argument of sorts and after the women from earlier get some of the fight on their phones, Edna takes the boys home. But of course the writers just HAVE to be clever as Moe inserts a horrible 4th wall joke about the 3rd act being over for "The Simpsons" and that should be the end, as Lisa says she feels like there's going to be one more act(x). That 4th wall joke is so forced and awful I think the 4th wall repaired itself from the lack of real comedy forced against it. The next morning Ned laments that he allowed himself to act that way. Marge gives Bart and Lisa their lunches as apparently Bart has some sort of trouble as demonstrated in a scene that has no point and begs for someone to shoot it dead(x). So after that bit of nothing, Ned realizes that they don't agree on how to raise their kids (Did that require a 3-minute exchange with no jokes whatsoever?) So after more bickering (UGH! JUST KILL THE SCENE!!!) Bart shouts out that he's keeping a dolphin in his bathtub... WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! I mean, was the episode that short that they needed a pointless scene like that just to make 21 minutes with a 2 minute opening sequence and a first act that completely unrelated to the rest of the episode? Basic storytelling, LEARN IT!

The assembly ended because Ned had to talk to Edna, or something

Later we see an assembly where Mr Largo and Lunchlady Doris (Let her character RIP) as they tell the students the answers to an upcoming test, however it's all deemed pointless when Ned comes out of nowhere to decide he needs to talk to Edna NOW... the stupidity of this scene hurts. The two have an apology decide to play it by ear (As Ned says it "The Simpsons make it up as they go along" I can't help but believe that's the writing staff's motto whenever coming up with their episodes). The episode ends with Homer dressed up as Jesus endorsing a car dealership owned by Sleazy Sal (Oh I forgot, they put his name in the opening billboard so this is supposed to be some sort of bookending or some bullshit) and Homer gets zapped by God for calling himself Jesus. Oh and during the credits, they start to play the "Everyone loves Ned Flanders"... until Ned breaks out into rap... if you'll excuse me I have a knife to sharpen and a pillow to stab.

Final Verdict: Pretty bad, but not too bad either. This is rather tame compared to what has been airing recently (And the disaster to air soon) and really while I had my complaints, I felt like it was watchable to a degree. Yeah there were some pretty bad moments like the opening act and the assembly along with the credit sequence, but there were some decent moments. Overall, above average for the season, but still crap.

Final Grade: 3.7/10 Not good, but it's not a complete waste of time either