Episode 2: Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts

Where to begin with this one? The concept itself isn't terrible, but it's not original either. The idea of Bart being able to learn something outside of school has succeeded before, but that was with good writing as well, this just feels like wasted potential, much like many modern episodes. Although what gets under my skin a bit was how this was promoted. It was promoted more for the audio clip of Theodore Roosevelt rather than what the purpose of that actually was. It just helps to support the idea that to the staff, guest stars mean more than the substance of the episode. Before I continue, I just want to put one thing in:

That makes this review far better because I got Teddy to appear, right? RIGHT?!

So after the opening (Okay, the couch gag was funny, for the first 5 seconds) we see the family go to a school fundraiser (Which Homer feels the need to explain the sign, can I just stuff a sock doused in chloroform down his throat yet?) Inside we see Skinner start up the school auction (Side note, we get to see Edna there, I've got 20 bucks on the fact that Edna and Ned's newfound relationship will never be addressed again and the writers are too dumb to throw in clever jokes about them being together now with scenes like that. But hey, what do I know?) During the auction, Homer goes into complete jerkass mode as he feels the need to interupt Skinner multiple times and discourage people from buying things (Oh Homer... Fuck off!) Skinner then gets a crank call from Bart who bids ridiculous amounts for each item and Skinner never questions this (Nevermind the fact that these amounts are ridiculous, how about the fact that Bart cannot disguise his voice to save his life and yet nobody notices this. I mean, it's not that hard to tell it's Bart, I could tell from the first word).

It's a good thing I'm as dumb as a brick

After a quick glossover of all the items Bart won, Bart then breaks in with his cheesy British accent and reveals that it was him who made all those bids (I don't know, for some reason I feel like Bart would end this prank by telling Skinner over the phone that he can't pay for any of it and then promptly hang up. It would protect Bart AND humiliate Skinner in front of everyone. But that's just me, this works too). After everyone leaves, Skinner approaches Homer about getting some of the money Bart "Bid with" and Homer goes into maximum jerkass by condescending Skinner for about 20 seconds with no real jokes put in (Each episode with him acting like this makes me yearn for his death). The next day, Chalmers insults Skinner for being fooled last night and Skinner decides to stand up to Chalmers and challenges Chalmers to deal with Bart himself (Wow, that scene was actually decent, Skinner stood up to Chalmers, it had some humor and it gives us a sense of direction now. I might actually like this episode). After the other teachers in the lounge applaud Skinner, Chalmers accepts the challenge (Watch Whacking Day much?) After Chalmers leaves, he realizes that he might be screwed since the last experience of teaching didn't go so well, as demonstrated with a pointless, unfunny dream sequence (To it's credit, it's only slightly padded, it could have gone on for far longer).

Huh, I have a real reason for being here. It feels good

Later, we see Chalmers trying to teach Bart history at the library, hope seems lost until Chalmers sees a picture of Theodore Roosevelt and decides to show Bart some books and audio clips of Teddy Roosevelt (And now my introduction is about as deep as their clip and yet I am not making a big deal out of it). The plan works as Bart wants to learn more (Too bad he didn't demonstrate it with actions, instead he stated it). Later, the library is about to close as Chalmers decides to take Bart horseback riding to show him a park that Theodore created (More padding, let's move on). After Bart and Lisa get into a small verbal feud about which Roosevelt was better (...whu?) Grampa breaks in to express his own hatred of certain people (Can't figure out how to end a scene? Just throw Grampa rambling in, that'll work). The next day, Bart is lecturing Milhouse, Nelson, Dolph, and Jimbo about Teddy as they get the idea to ask Chalmers to learn more about Roosevelt through him. Chalmers then accepts the idea citing that the school system is failing as it's aimed more towards not hurting people's feelings and loving (Hold on, hold on. Is this a satirical take on the modern school system? I think this is the closest this show has actually come to satirizing something in a long time. Granted it's not done well at all, but it's the closest thing in a while).

You kids these days with your Ipods, and your HDTVs and your Zzzzz....

Chalmers proposes the idea that they take a trip to Springfield Forest where they can go searching for a rumored lost set of glasses worn by Roosevelt (Ah great, this is quickly turning into a 'Our boy got a boo-boo on your unauthorized field trip' type of story. *Sigh* well it was good while it lasted). Later we see the group in the forest beginning their adventure (Okay to give credit there is a funny, short 'bear almost eats cub' joke after "There are no bad fathers in the wilderness" line). The next morning we get a scene that I think is supposed to develop Chalmers, but it's far too short and out of place. Chalmers and Bart then hear Nelson as he's on the side of a cliff with a pair of spectacles claiming that they're Teddy's. As expected, the branch he's hanging from breaks and he falls (Called it) Later at school, Chalmers gets scolded for what happened to Nelson as Mrs. Muntz decides to sue Chalmers. Chalmers gets fired and he walks home attempting to cry after Otto crashes the bus (It doesn't make any more sense in context). The next day, Bart complains about how Chalmers would have taught class differently as Edna tells Bart to rest his head on his desk. Bart's desk has soda residue which leads to a funny-at-first-but-yet-again-they-took-it-too-far gag with Bart walking home with the desk stuck to his arm. He sees Chalmers at the lake as Chalmers is too depressed to talk to Bart.

God dammit! Can't I fish in peace? I do have a life you know.

At the treehouse, Bart gets all the guys together (Plus Kearney, wait, why is he here? *Goes to recheck previous scenes* he wasn't in the original group. Did the writers forget that fact?) to get Chalmers his job back, but of course this scene doesn't have any potential humor alone, so Homer comes in to ask them if they've been cyberbulling each other (Wow, that added nothing and brought the narrative to a complete halt for about 30 seconds, but hey it was so essential because it was 'hilarious'.... *Sigh* I'm getting too old for this shit) Bart then tells everyone that they're going to take over the school and not give it up until Chalmer has his job back... Grade School Confidential much? But before that can go down, Homer returns and... you get the point, despite being a main character, he adds little to the actual show now-a-days. At the school, Jimbo distracts the secretary as Bart sneaks into Skinner's office and gives the signal to Dolph and Kearney who were distracting Skinner (The signal was basically that everyone's car lights were on). This causes all the teachers to leave and all the doors and windows are locked. Bart informs the teachers that the school is under his control and it gets a reaction when the teachers realize that their checks are in there (Honestly, I think it would have been funnier if the teachers didn't care).

Attention teachers! My hair is being covered by this awesome hat

After Skinner fails to get in, Bart organizes the students in the gym (To be explained later, hopefully). Outside, we see the police surround the school (And apparently a cameo from the FOX News helicopter, I guess that's Al Jean's "Take that FOX News"... WEAK!) and Kent Brockman interviews Marge and Homer because he was called by Bart saying that an escaped Octopus is on the roof of the school and... oh wait, sorry wrong episode, it's because Kent read the script (I know Skinner knows, but Kent doesn't know that to our knowledge). Marge tries to explain that Bart's mad because Chalmers got fired, and Channel 6 thinks it would be hilarious to annoy Homer by covering his face with a picture of Bart hanging himself so Homer can inexplicably get annoyed and get his face on TV. Wiggum tells Bart that he needs to surrender and Bart refuses until he knows that Chalmers will get his job back (Oh just go grab some hot dogs, strap them to your body and call it a bomb). Chalmers then arrives and tells Bart to stand down as he's proud of what he's learned under his tutelage.

Thank God you're standing right there, right now, Comptroller

The standoff ends with Wiggum dropping his gun which shoots Comptroller Atkins (Who just happened to walk right next to Wiggum just as he drops his gun... lazy writing saved the day) and he reinstates Chalmers. The kids all run out (What was the point of putting them in the gym?) as Milhouse drops the photocopier and goes crazy. The episode ends with Chalmers and Bart on horseback in the park as Chalmers tells Bart that Night at the Museum is the most informative work of Teddy (Gotta throw that "movie which came out in the past ten years" reference in there somewhere). Oh and by the way, Theodore Roosevelt gets a credit as a special guest voice, I call foul because he never got a choice in this.

Final Verdict: This episode was rather average, actually better than I expected, but still it ended up being a Grade School Confidential clone mixed in with Whacking Day which helps support my theory that the better Modern Simpsons episodes are those that just rehash old ideas. The writing was okay, with some good areas and more bad areas, the jokes were rather mediocre with a few exceptions, and in the end I felt like it could have been a decent episode with some good writing. But like most modern episodes, you'll probably forget it in a week

Final Grade: 5.5/10 I can't help but feel that this is a high point for the season.

October Schedule

10/3: Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts
10/7: Midnight Tow Boy
10/10: TBD
10/14: I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
10/17: Quick analysis: The Simpsons and technology
10/21: Little Orphan Millie
10/24: Quick analysis: The Simpsons and skills
10/28: Treehouse of Horror XVIII
10/31: Treehouse of Horror XXII

As always, schedule subject to change, I might include something for Halloween, but if you're interested in my favorites, just go to last October's posts

Episode 2: The Homer Of Seville

You know, alternating between Season 19 and Season 23 these next few months is starting to look like alternating between a balpeen hammer to the knees and a knife to the gut, neither is pleasant and you'd like to avoid them. But I know I have to get season 19 out of the way at some point, so might as well get it out of the way now and come out of this a better man. With all that out of the way, let's take a look at "Homer's unknown talent but now an expert at: #238" or better known as The Homer of Seville.


So after a long opening scene (2 minutes 6 seconds) we see Church letting out as the family rush to get out of there quickly. After driving around looking for a place to eat Brunch (While listing off the restaurant names, eh they're hit and miss) they see a catering van outside someone's house, Lisa points out how it's someone's house, but Marge decides that she's going to be dickish and decides to go there anyways (Ow that hurt, how is it possible that I would have preferred it to be Homer who decided to eat there. That would have been more in character, albeit 'Jerkass Homer' but it still would have made more sense). Inside, the family act as inconspicuous as a drunk guy on a bus. After the family pigs out a bit, they notice a huge crowd around a certain area, naturally it must be the Sundae bar as Homer acts as jerkass as possible before revealing the area is a coffin and they crashed a funeral (Wow, this is rather low, even for their standards). When they realize this, Marge tells everyone to act sad, she says this while in front of everyone so they can hear her (Um, hi writers, I'm the viewer, I have this thing called a brain, it's a wonderful thing. I can see what's going onscreen and I can tell that everyone just heard what Marge said, regardless of what you think).

As long as we don't acknowledge them, they can't hear us, right?

So the family tries to leave (Bart tries some 'humor' with the corpse... I'm just going to show you how this scene is done right) and Homer is asked to be a pallbearer for the coffin. While carrying the coffin, Homer falls into the grave (Somehow, I don't know how, I don't know what goes through the writing staff's minds at time) while in the grave, Bart pours dirt over Homer (Can we get to a plot already? None of this shit is working, nor is it funny) At the hospital, Doctor Hibbert tells Homer that he has a back sprain as he decides to run some tests to realign Homer's spine, but Homer refuses in a singing voice (Okay, we have first signs of a plot, how far are we in? *6 minutes* That sounds about right for Modern Simpsons, we wouldn't want that pesky 'plot' thing ruining our filler, now would we?) Doctor Hibbert explains that when Homer's on his back, his stomach pushes his diaphragm in a way that gives him a great singing voice (Does this constitute as technobabble? Oh wait, apparently it does exist, still it's rather wibbly wobbly) Yeah forget all those other times Homer was on his back and he spoke perfectly normal (Such as when he was in the grave earlier this episode). I mean there's adding a new character trait for the sake of a plot, and then there's "Fuck it, we don't care", guess which this is?

I'm sorry, I thought you were the Pillsbury Dough Boy 

Doctor Hibbert then suggests that Homer start singing to help the patients of the hospital (You can't top Lisa and Bleeding Gum Murphy's performance) so Homer starts singing and as expected, everyone feels better when he's carted around (What is this, Pokemon?) and we see that he sings excellently when he's completely on his back, but not so well when he's sitting up (Didn't they do this already where Homer was a great singer but hit puberty and then sucked?) Mr. Burns hears Homer singing (He's there because he's looking in the morgue for organs) and when he sees Homer singing, he offers him a role at his opera house (Okay we're 8 minutes in and we have the actual plot now, even their padding is padded) At the opera, Homer performs while on his back and... that's pretty much it (There are small details, but it's not worth going into). The family congratulates Homer on his performance, which leads into a montage of Homer performing for various events (...Great, a montage *Sigh*) Afterwards, Homer finishes a performance and has a talk with Plácido Domingo where Plácido asks for Homer's advice on singing... am I allowed to stop caring at this point? 

It's nice to see that despite just becoming an opera singer, he's instantly the best

Later, Homer and Marge are out on their anniversary dinner as Homer gets harassed by some old ladies for his autograph and the dialogue from Homer couldn't be any less funny if he started talking about Nazis as great people (Seriously, the dialogue is TERRIBLE and so forced. It makes Dane Cook look funny in comparison, I'm not even exaggerating). Marge gets fed up with Homer's talk and leaves (Good idea, we should all do that right now *Realizes I'm bolted to my chair* nevermind, let's continue). Marge tells Homer that she doesn't like the new him and she wants more alone time with him, this is interrupted as Lenny and Carl come by in a limo but Homer tells them that they'll be walking (Oh and the writers imply that Lenny and Carl get it on with the two old women, charming). Marge and Homer then get chased by some opera fans as they get cornered in an alley. However, a Deus ex Machina, er I mean... nope I stand by that, arrives in the form of a motorcyclist who picks up Marge and Homer. After Marge offers the motorcyclist some coffee for saving them, she takes off her helmet to reveal that she's a woman (This isn't at all the least bit sexist the idea of them having to say that a woman driving a motorcycle is odd, ugh). Inside Julia tells Marge that she wants to keep the fans in line by being the president of Homer's fan club and Marge agrees (I would talk about how this sudden turn of events comes out of nowhere and is lazy writing at its worst, but it gets worse). 

And now he has hot women stripping for him... okay he's officially a Gary Stu now

After Marge leaves the room for a bit, Julia reveals her true intentions as she's a crazy fan who wants to have sex with Homer (Oh hi strange out-of-place plot introduced only 16 minutes into a 21 minute episode). After a scene of Julia doing her job, we get a montage of Julia being the one-dimensional sex-obsessed fan she is following Homer everywhere (Two montages in a single episode? Add this to the first 7 minutes of padding and we get the sacred formula for pure gold, oh wait that's the formula for shit, it's rather easy to get them confused). Homer tells Julia that they can never be together and this leads to Julia trying to kill Homer (Again, another out-of-place plot that comes straight the fuck out of nowhere and is introduced way too late to get real development). Later at the opera house (With the banner reading "The Barber of Seville" you know, when you explain where the title of your episode comes from, it kills the joke instantly, it's not some "Meta" joke or 4th-wall joke, it's just stupid). After Chief Wiggum assures Marge that they've taken the precautions to protect Homer (50 bucks on the fact that an assassination attempt is still taken) the opera goes on with Homer performing. Marge gets anxious and Bart notices the conductor has a poison dart, it's revealed that Julia is the conductor (Okay, HOW the hell did that happen? How did she get to be the conductor?) 

Yeah this makes sense considering who's doing the shooting

After some slapstick with Wiggum (Although that would imply it's funny) Julia shoots the dart, only to be intercepted by marge with a French Horn as the dart goes through the horn back towards Julia (Science!) After some more padding courtesy of the snipers (Funny at first, but the writers don't know when to stop) Julia is put in an ambulance as she does the whole "I'll get you next time" shtick with Marge (Blah, blah, blah, zzzz...) And the episode ends with Homer retiring from opera (What a shock) and deciding to paint a Simpsonized version of the Sistine Chapel (I guess that makes is 'Special talent #239')


Final Verdict: This episode was terrible, the filler was just awful, it felt like 5 minutes of plot and 16 minutes of filler (Give or take) the idea of storytelling is truly dead in this episode. The jokes were bad and some were just downright awful and the characters were not likable at all. Just really another generic, boring, stupid episode.


Final Grade: 2.1/10 Filler, filler, and more filler

The Falcon and the D'ohman in 5 seconds

As defined by Webster's dictionary

Subtle: Delicate; slight; not noticeable; difficult to define, put into words; ingenious

And now the writers know.

Episode 1: The Falcon and the D'ohman

Hi everyone, I had a great Summer, how was yours? But now that all comes to an end with this, what can I say about this? There are just so many things wrong with this episode and so few things right. Let's start off with the wrong

1. Wrapping up a gimmick promotion that NOBODY cared about
2. The writer's not even the same guy who wrote Ned-Liest Catch, if the staff doesn't care, why should we?
3. 23 years?! For fuck sakes man, anyone who actually cares about this no longer watches, why doesn't Al Jean just flat out announce already that he hates this show so we can move on?

okay, okay, let's begin this episode.

The episode begins with Comic Book Guy at his desk telling America that the result of "Nedna" (Seriously? These guys actually thought that name was clever? They can burn in hell for all I care) will be announced in this episode and we should keep a lookout for it (In other words, just wait for the writers to have a scene short of Ned shouting "THE RESULT OF THE POLL WAS...." thrown at our faces like we have the brain capacity of a toaster). So after that half-assed introduction (The writers did not take note of how the end of The Ned-liest Catch was awful) Comic Book Guy leads us into the introduction which turns out to be a parody of a Police song (Edit: It was "Walking on the Moon") Oh and yes I noticed the SNPP joke, I would give a point for a shoutout, but it wasn't funny nor subtle, it would have worked much better as a freeze-frame or far background joke. After some more singing (And apparently Barney works at the plant... Why? You might be asking, because the writers are inept and could care less if their scenes make sense or have purpose) Homer punches in but decides he needs to help pad the running time a bit (And the writers aren't taking their time to piss me off this year, they're getting straight to the shit).

Look my name is Jack Bau- er I mean... screw it, just call me Jack

Homer then meets up with the security guard who turns out to be a different guy, Homer tries to befriend him (With some bad, unfunny dialogue) as he tells Wayne to fistbump him and he refuses and Homer decides to use the "As God as my witness" quote to say he will get Wayne to fistbump him (Hmm... my foreshadowing sense is tingling). We cut to Master Chef as apparently Marge won (I don't know how the show works, I've never seen it) and Tom Colicchio turns into a kitchen... *Checks room for drugs* Nope, it's not me, it's the episode. After that, Marge returns to reality where she gives Bart and Lisa the snacks she was making in her daydream. So I know what you might be thinking. Did that scene have ANY purpose? Nope, not one bit, you could have cut this scene and not changed a single line of dialogue or change any scene afterwards. Why did they even bother with this? The scene wasn't even funny, so you can't even justify it with "But it had a great joke". They put that ONE scene in the promotion like it actually meant something, but in reality it was just another "We can get any guest star we want, so suck it fans!" the shear laziness and lack of caring is mind-boggling, the writers just seem to find new ways to suck with each episode. After Bart and Lisa get pissed at Marge for being creative with her snacks (Anyone else feel like that's odd for Lisa in particular?)

This will look great for the promotion, now how many lines do I get again?

Homer comes in to tell Marge that someone at work doesn't like him... hang on a second, this is Homer's Enemy! Quick! Hide all Season 8 DVDs now, don't allow them to butcher that episode. Later, we see Homer driving home from work as he sees Wayne walking on the sidewalk and Wayne refuses to get into the car until the writer's laziness gets to him and he gets in. After a bit of unfunny banter in the car (~padding, padding, padding~) we go inside Moe's Bar as Homer continues to try my patience by being as annoying as possible (The purpose of this show is to make me laugh, right?) After Wayne goes to the bathroom, Snake just comes in via motorcycle and robs the barflies (You know, initially there was no real problem I could spot, however, Lenny appears to be missing while Snake is robbing them. I call that lazy directing). Moe however, decides to get his shotgun (While basically announcing that's what he's doing) and Snake is able to steal it from him (By the way, Lenny's back now). Wayne comes out of the bathroom and proceeds to kick Snake's ass (Interluded with horrible joke after horrible joke, ugh, let's move on). After Wayne finishes beating up Snake, Moe tells everyone to collect the jar eggs and Wayne notices that Snake is back up and he proceeds to throw the egg down his throat (Snake? Snake?! SNAKE!!!!)

Stay back! I'm a professional actor

At home, we see Wayne eating dinner with the Simpsons as a way of thanking him for saving Homer. Bart asks Wayne where he learned how to fight like that and Wayne explains that he had special training, as demonstrated in a long-as-all-hell-why-won't-you-fucking-end-you-long-ass-padded-out dream sequence (Seriously, it lasts for 50 seconds when it should have ended after 10 or 15 seconds). Wayne then wakes up and says he has to go, but not before Homer decides to bear hug him like the polar bear did in the dream sequence (Do the writers actually understand comedy, or do they just throw a bunch of shit against the wall and pray for some of it to stick?) After Wayne leaves (Using the impossible doorway, it might just be me, but the animation was crap there) Flanders drops by to tell Homer about "The big change in my life" as it turns out to be the fact that he now drinks orange juice with pulp (Okay a few things here, 1) That's a terrible joke 2) Why would Homer care? I'm surprised he didn't close the blinds as soon as he saw Ned).

Look Ned, nobody cared about your stupid relationship, now go away

The next day at work, Wayne shows up and is greeted by the media and interviewed for being a hero in last night's bar robbery (Oh and by the looks of it, it's being done live, with Homer and his family at home watching it, keep that in mind). Channel 6 decides to show the audience a dramatization of the events and... HOLY CRAP THAT'S BAD! I don't even know if the choppy 3-D animation is supposed to make fun of Taiwanese animation or not, but it just looks hideous, when 3-D animation from the early 90's looks better, you might want to quit. Anyways, as you might have expected, the scene goes on for far longer than it needs to be (Including a shoehorned GTA joke, I don't get why) and we cut back to Mr. Burns giving Wayne the "Silver Safety Hat" (Presented from the Ark of the Covenant, I don't know which would melt a person's head faster, opening the Ark, or watching this show some more). But apparently (Through flashback) the CIA tried to wipe Wayne's memory with a helmet and it failed, but because of his PSTD (I can only assume, his character is nonexistent at this point. Just throw any spy cliche and it'd be about as effective) he starts beating up Mr. Burns and other until Homer stops him (So Homer teleports now? I guess being an instant expert at everything allows for explosive teleportation as well). Wayne is fired and Homer offers him a place to live.

You want to be a king?! Here's your crown!!

Wayne is hesitant because of his PTSD (Again, we JUST learned about this, I wouldn't be surprised if he was just some homeless guy pretending to live the life of another guy) and Homer reassures Wayne through an unfunny Terminator dream (CONTEXT! Your jokes need context, you can't just throw a joke and say "Eh it's funny, good enough") So that night, we see Wayne in the treehouse as he's having nightmares and is keeping everyone up with his ramblings. Okay remember at the beginning Comic Book Guy said:

" The answer to Ned and Edna is carefully hidden in tonight's episode, 

like a bread crumb lodged inside my stomach crease"

Maybe this is too subtle

Much better

So let's see this "Carefully hidden" answer. We cut to Edna and Ned awake in bed together as Edna winks to the audience... FFFFFFUUUUUUUU- ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! YOU FUCKING HACKS! Not only did they go with the less popular result (Honestly, like I said, I didn't care) but they treated their audience as if they have the brain capacity of a toaster. I've said it before, I'll say it in the future and I'll say it now, the staff has no clue what the terms "subtle" "satire" or "humor" actually mean. The fact that they thought that this could fly is bullshit and the idea that they think that they're adding clever funny stories to this show is just unspeakable. Ugh... let's move on. The next morning, Wayne apologizes for his ramblings and he reveals that he came to Springfield because it doesn't appear on any maps or charts (You know, the whole "Where is Springfield located?" isn't funny anymore, especially the way they do it). After a brief scene of Wayne teaching the kids some stuff he knows, Marge tells Wayne that she's not comfortable with the idea of him spreading his knowledge to her family, except when it comes to getting a better parking spot at the mall (Eh it's not nearly as bad as I made it out to be, to be honest).

Our hero; a psychotic nutjob who points guns at musicians

After a pointless scene where Bart fights the bullies, Wayne walks into Lisa playing a song as he has a flashback of a gunfight in a high class party (Again, he's not developed enough for us to care, I don't know why he became a spy, why he needed to run away, what that party had to do with anything. The writers are just throwing together spy cliches and hoping we care, and I don't) By the way, why is Grampa there? Oh right because his jokes weren't funny, my mistake. In Kiev, some important looking guy (um... name?) is looking through his e-mail (Which consists of a bunch of terrible internet jokes which aren't even funny now). He then finds a video of Wayne assaulting Mr. Burns (Which results in the line "Do you want to give it 0 stars?" okay, two reasons that joke fails. 1) The star rating has been defunct on Youtube for nearly a year 2) You couldn't give 0 star ratings. I know that's nitpicking, but if you're going to have a topical joke, make sure it at least WORKS) Back home, Homer's washing out the lawn (Don't ask) and he's approached by the man in a van. The man asks if Wayne has any friends and Homer says no causing them to drive away. However, he says he's a friend of Wayne and after a brief conversation (With unfunny dialogue of course) Homer's kidnapped (And his first concern is getting the middle seat... *Angry stare*).

Would you like to come into my van? I have candy

Later, Kent Brockman breaks the news of Homer being kidnapped as Channel 6 shows the hostage video of Homer, which is just a bunch of unfunny slapstick mixed with "Homer's an idiot", pretty much what you'd expect from 'Modern Homer'. This results in the Ukrainian gangsters beating the crap out of him (Thank you). Wayne sees the video and has a flashback to the party... oh God the flashbacks are starting to flashback in the episode itself, the episode's going to restart! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! In the same flashback, we get to see that Victor's wife comes into the ballroom because the room she was staying in was too dirty (Ahahaha, those women and their cleanliness, fuck off). Because she arrives, she is shot by a stray bullet and presumably dies. Wayne informs Marge that he's going to find Homer and he heads off to "Little Ukraine" (What was Sprooklyn just too populated to have a Ukrainian district?) After some unfunny store signs in the background (Which Wayne tries to hint at are funny, no Wayne, they aren't) he goes to an ice rink which has two guys with guns outside (Why bother being inconspicuous? Why not just have a neon sign while you're at it?) Inside, we see Homer frozen under the ice with a straw in his mouth to breath (I'm pretty sure he'd be dead from hypothermia alone, but hey what do I know?) After some gangsters do some ice skating tricks (Because that's what I think of when I think of Ukrainian gangsters, is it sad that I'm reminded of Mr. Freeze a bit from Batman and Robin?) Wayne arms himself with a shirt launcher, some shirts and lights them on fire.

Hmm... Mr. Freeze was a more threatening villain, this shouldn't be a problem

After he successfully takes down everyone but Victor (He must be saved for Homer to defeat) Victor points a gun at Homer (Now out of the ice) and Wayne and Homer decides he needs to warm himself up by hugging Victor, allowing Wayne to shoot him (Eh close enough). After that anti-climatic finish (And Homer jumping back into the ice water, stop reminding me of past shitty episodes, you're no helping your cause) Wayne decides he needs to leave. He says his farewells and even fistbumps Homer (Oh my God he actually did it! Wait, am I supposed to care? Sorry about that) but Marge decides that there's a place where "A sadistic man with government experience can feel right at home" (The circus?) No of course it's the DMV, who didn't see that a mile away? After a scene of him mouthing off Sideshow Mel, we get a scene of a play written by him honoring Kim Jong-Il (Why? I keep finding myself asking that same question). And so the episode truly ends with Edna and Ned thanking America for choosing "Pro-Nedna" (I've got 100 bucks saying the writers didn't actually tally up the votes and had this in mind the entire time) and Seymour comes in jealous that he wasn't an option.

Final Verdict: This was horrible, the jokes were non-existent, the plot was moronic and very rushed, the characters were not interesting nor funny, the Master Chef bit was utterly pointless and another middle finger to the audience, and the resolution of "Nedna" (Again I don't care about) was insulting to the audience. Maybe if this show was aimed for entertaining rocks, that would have flied, but not adults.

Final Grade: 1.5/10 Just horrible and painful to watch

Episode 1: He Loves To Fly And He D'oh's

Welcome to Season 19's series of reviews. Before I start, let me say one thing; I have little to no memory of this season. Perhaps that's a testament to how bad and forgettable this season was, but also I feel that it allows a fresh, unbiased take on the season. So let's begin this series with, of course, episode 1.

Before I begin, I'll talk about the opening sequence. As you probably know, Season 19 came right after The Simpsons Movie, so naturally, the staff decided to have a little shout-out to their own movie by having a special opening sequence. I'm rather apathetic towards it as it's not bad, nor is it really worth mentioning. To me it's just... there, let's continue. The episode begins with Mr. Burns and Smithers shopping as they decide to get a new cell phone for Mr. Burns. Okay a couple things I want to address here, first the name of the cell phone store isn't really bad, nor is it something you'll see mentioned by anyone 5 years after it airs. Secondly, there's a joke where the PA states: "Attention shoppers, IPhones now 20 cents" it wasn't funny when it first aired and it dates the episode terribly nowadays. That's one of the issues with Modern Simpsons, their topical jokes often lose comedic effect within a couple of months; if they're lucky, it'll be a year or two. I'll talk about this in detail in a future post. Anyways, it turns out Mr. Burns needs a new cell phone because he accidentally ate his old one. Yet again, I'll go into detail about this in a future post, but the idea of Mr. Burns having a cell phone is just wrong to me.

Who knew Mr. Burns was part dolphin?

Mr. Burns goes wandering off and notices a penny in a fountain, he hesitates at first to grab it, but after seeing Ralph act like an idiot, he decides he needs to take it before Ralph can (And Ralph is there by himself just because. This is a very common theme among these episodes). After Mr Burns gets caught in the water system (...somehow) he thinks he's going to die (See Burn's Heir for how this is done right). Homer comes passing along and picks up Mr. Burns from the fountain. Mr. Burns decides to reward Homer by taking him out to dinner. After Mr. Burns decides he needs to try to pick up the penny again (Because it was so funny the first time) we see Homer getting ready for dinner as Bart mocks him for going out to dinner with Mr. Burns (Ah yes, it's time for Jerk-ass Homer... * Unenthusiastic* yippee). So Mr. Burns offers to take Homer to Chicago for dinner as he reveals that they'll be going there via private jet (Okay we have the seeds for a plot, only took 3 minutes, and yet somehow this feels faster than the more recent stuff). However, the next two minutes are bogged down and spent on bad airplane jokes and a pointless cameo by Lionel Richie. Afterwards, Homer is forced off the plane by an extractor (Twice, because senseless violence towards Homer is always funny, right?) Mr. Burns and Homer walk through Chicago via montage (Oh thank God, for a minute I thought that the writers would actually be creative for a change).

Oh please tell me they're going in to get some real comedy

Afterwards, we get to see where all the writers came from as Mr. Burns and Homer go to a 2nd-rate improv theater (The audience there seems to laugh at whatever's onstage no matter how bad it is. My guess is that those people are usually the test audience for every episode). After Homer and Burns leave, Homer is dropped off at home by the extractor (Because it was so- you get the point). At home, Marge doesn't seem to mind that Homer was gone all night and has now been spoiled by one flight on a private jet (Has anyone seen the real Marge? This phony isn't doing a good job of impersonating her). The next day (I assume) Homer is sad because now he'll never get into a private jet again (Oh for fuck's sake, I just dealt with Lisa's whining, I don't need you to start now). Homer is then introduced to Colby Kraus who is voiced by... Stephen Colbert?! NO!!! Why Mr. Colbert? Why? You're awesome, what are you doing here? Wait! There might be hope for this now. *Checks writing credits* Actually nevermind, let's continue. So Colby is a life coach who was hired by Marge to help improve Homer's life (Why are you encouraging his selfish, spoiled behavior, Marge? Oh, right, because everything has to be about Homer getting what he wants, my mistake). Colby tells Homer that he's going to observe him do what he does normally which leads to some padding of Homer not knowing what he normally does (Ugh).

Homer, I'm here because I don't think your life is perfect enough yet

After Homer fails to put a sock on (I'm sorry, but is Homer's problem that he wants more or that he has a railroad spike lodged in his brain?) Colby tells Homer that he needs to concentrate better (Or something, I don't know these scenes are very underdeveloped). At the Plant (Which looks very sterile) Homer launches two staple in his head (What was the point of that? There was none, it's just "Homer+pain=funny" to the writers). At the Bowlarama, Colby discovers that Homer is much more confident when he's wearing his bowling shoes so he instructs Homer to wear them everywhere. After a montage of Homer being successful while wearing the bowling shoes (Two montages in one episode? It must be my birthday) Colby gives Homer the news that he's being offered an interview by a copper company that has a private jet (Oh right, THAT'S what the episode was supposed to be about, forgot about it for a minute). Colby informs Homer that he's going to call Mr. Burns to tell him that Homer quits (But he works there for Maggie, oh right, the writers don't believe in any continuity before season 10) and sends Homer off for his interview. Later, Homer comes home depressed but tells his family that he got the job (I know where this is going, and so can anyone with half a brain). The next day, Homer goes off for his first day as it's revealed that he doesn't work for them and he goes to Krusty Burger (This is accompanied by sad music. Are we supposed to feel bad for Homer or something? I don't his intentions are completely selfish and wrong).

This is why he needs the show to stay on the air

Later, Homer comes back and pretends like he's happy with his new job and basically says everything short of "I'm unemployed!" to his family (I don't get this, the episode makes it seem like we should feel bad for Homer, but in reality we shouldn't. If Homer applied for that job for the sake of better pay to support his family better, I could sympathize with him, but the reason he applied for that job is to be on a private plane all the time, he gets NO sympathy from me). The next day, the fourth grade goes to Krusty Burger (After a field trip. I don't know why Edna isn't there, but this has far more effort than The Scorpion's Tale in terms of why they are there. That's not saying much, but it speaks volumes to how much worse the show has gotten). Bart, of course, notices Homer and after poking his eye for a while (Pain+Homer=funny, right?) and Homer reveals to Bart that he never got the job. In a flashback, Homer didn't get the job because he didn't know anything about copper (I could name a handful of things that would prevent him from getting the job, but I'll accept the obvious one). After some padding showing Homer trying to get the job by force, he tells Bart that he couldn't bring himself to tell Marge about it. Bart tells Homer that Marge has been spending more money and he needs to tell her (It was a new job, not a better paying job to my knowledge).

Say that you LOVE ME! SAY! IT!

Homer calls Marge to try to break the news, but decides he needs to get deeper and deeper into this (Oh lazy sitcom cliches, will you ever learn?) At the airport, Homer gives a man hundreds of dollars so that he can rent a private plane to tell Marge the truth in the sky (Ugh, this is so stupid). During the flight, Homer tries to break the news to Marge, but the pilot falls asleep (Due to drugs... right...) and it's up to Homer and Marge to land the plane (Don't worry, Homer MS Simpson can do whatever he wants because he's got the power of lazy writing at his hands). After Homer 'hilariously' almost crashes into the ocean (Ow, that hurt) Marge pulls the plane up and decides to call Colby to coach Homer into landing the plane (Because it's just that easy to land a plane). After Marge tells him to help Homer (Okay, seriously, she paid their life savings to make Homer feel better about never getting on a private jet again? There's something called therapy I hear, it's much cheaper and much more efficient), Homer almost crashes into the Duff Blimp (Why? Just... why?)

I've played hundreds of video games, how much different could this possi- *Crash*

Colby then encourages Homer by telling him that someone said he couldn't land the plane (Again, it's just that easy). False tension ensues and Homer successfully lands the plane, however, that's not funny enough as Homer decides to drive the plane off the runway and into the water (Why does that sound like a bad Family Guy joke? Oh right, because it is). Homer and Marge are saved and Homer tells Marge that he can't risk his life like that again so he'll go beg for his old job back (You already have, DON'T FORGET, YOU'RE HERE FOREVER). Marge is accepting of this (Because having someone being disappointed with Homer would be unfathomable for the writers) and the episode ends with Lionel Richie trying to be saved, but cannot as his awards are holding him down (Why was he on the plane? Why does he have his awards with him now? Who knows, and who cares, certainly not the writers).

Final Verdict: This episode was rather mediocre, at times it felt okay, but as a whole it was boring and stupid. The jokes were rather bad, the whole plot of "Homer needs to get a job to get on a private jet" is rather bad and the guest stars were wasted.

Final Grade: 4.2/10 Very forgettable, but not terrible

Elementary School Musical

Just 3 days left readers until season 23...be afraid, be very, very afraid

Worst of the worst: Lisa the Drama Queen-Part 2

Well, it's been a week since my sanity snapped. I've begun pulling what hair I have left in clumps, and all knives, medication, and blunt instruments were removed from the premises. Also, the asylum has told me that one more freakout like last week and I'll be getting a lobotomy, so this will be a much calmer review. Fortunately, I've been able to recover and I feel brand new, so let's finish this abomination and put this chapter of my reviewing days to rest.

So where were we? Oh right, Lisa had lost her own marbles and went into a hallucination with Juliet. *Sigh* Now, I said last time I'd get back to why I hate Juliet. This episode was improperly named; it's JULIET who's a drama queen, not Lisa. She flips out over not being able to play her own music and later ends up freaking out whenever Lisa hesitates about joining her in her delusions. Everything MUST be about what she wants, and, for this, she ends up derailing Lisa's character without adequate reason. Why is she so unbalanced? Because the Juliet of Heavenly Creatures was! The difference is, the reason for the mental imbalance is elaborated upon in Heavenly Creatures; in The Simpsons, it's because Juliet's just a brat. Ugh... Anyhow, Lisa and Juliet are both in "Equalia" (Dear Lord, just castrate me while you're at it) where they see a bunch of mythical creatures and, wait a minute... that fountain, it looks familiar. Oh right, because there's no such thing as originality here, it's the exact same fountain from the movie.

Welcome girls. Lisa, you're free to roam around. Juliet, you're scheduled for execution soon

Sorry about that, moving on. So Lisa and Juliet (dressed up like princesses) find a twonicorn, and after feeding it a sugar cube, it barfs a rainbow (You know, I'm over halfway there and yet I cannot live on a prayer for quality for this episode). The... queen? (I don't know she just shows up and says a few words, she could be the jester for all I know) welcomes Lisa and Juliet to Equalia (Okay, I need a new name for this place. Bollville, perhaps?) where she decides to start a royal dance for them by playing the "Royal Mypod". ...I really have to wonder if this episode was made for the sole purpose of desensitizing the audience to the point that every episode afterwards would look like Last Exit to Springfield in comparison.

*BARF* I'm sorry, but pretentious shit makes me throw up

As Lisa and Juliet slow-dance with each other (No lesbian undertones whatsoever) Bollville begins to transition back to the real world as it's shown that Lisa and Juliet were dancing to the sprinklers going off (I have no words for this, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that someone thought that an episode based on Heavenly Creatures was a good idea). The next day we see Lisa and Juliet writing more of their story about Bollvillle (with paper crowns and scarves draped around their torsos. Brian Kelley's really trying to drive this in until we accept it isn't he?). When Marge tries to play along, Lisa essentially tells her to fuck off (Despite them writing in the kitchen instead of her room... okay, how many warnings to stop watching this have we been given? *34* I thought as much). Later, Marge and Homer are called to Skinner's office where he tells them that Lisa's grades have been dropping ever since she's been hanging out with Juliet. However, because there couldn't possibly be any good jokes to be told with that premise, Homer ignores everything Skinner says and acts like a complete ass-clown (which causes Skinner to facepalm. Isn't it nice when the writers acknowledge how bad Homer's gotten and yet don't bother to make him more human?). Back home, Marge tells Lisa that she can no longer see Juliet. This causes Lisa to get upset, saying this:

(There are no words I know of to describe my hatred for this episode). After Marge shrugs that off, Lisa tries to escape by climbing down the tree, only to fall into a laundry basket being held by Marge (I guess cloning is far more advanced than we ever thought). The next day, Lisa leaves school only to bump into Juliet, who is throwing stuff at Lisa from a tree... Oh wait, it gets better. Juliet tells Lisa that she's running away (...Why?) and she's taking Lisa with her. Lisa is hesitant initially, but Juliet convinces her that she needs to come because Bollville needs her... I just want that to sink in for a moment. Juliet was waiting in a tree for Lisa to get out to tell her that they're both going to run away from home because they need to write a fantasy novel, a novel that Juliet believes is real. Oh, but wait, I haven't even told you about the icing on this cake, Juliet tells Lisa that she needs her too, as Juliet grabs Lisa's hands...*Goes to corner in fetal position* This is all just fictional, this is all just fictional, this is all-

Brian Kelley, don't encourage the slashfic.

Anyways, Lisa agrees and they walk off while holding hands (You hear that snap? That was the sound of my sanity leaving me, I'm so screwed now). As Lisa and Juliet bike their way to their new location, the scenery around them turns into Bollville complete with the annoying music (At this point I'm just waiting for the ending where Lisa and Juliet brutally murder Marge with a rock and run back home screaming with blood on their hands). Lisa and Juliet arrive at "Clam-Elot" (Ugh) where Juliet tells Lisa to just use her imagination and it'll become Bollvile. *Checks time remaining* 6 MINUTES?! Oh I do hate myself at this point. Oh, and we see Lenny and Carl pass by the condemned "Clam-Elot"... why? Just, why? We cut back home where Marge and Homer talk about how Lisa should be at the Model UN (Gee I wonder if this will lead to anything? I mean it's oh so natural in the way it's casually discussed here). Just then, Marge gets a call from Martin that Lisa never showed up (In the most forced, unfunny way possible, I'm sorry is this a comedy show or brainwashing material?). Marge expresses her concern about how she was too intrusive in Lisa's friendship with Juliet by driving around looking for her... Oh wait nevermind she SAYS all that in some more awkward dialogue (I would pull up the "Show don't tell" card here, but that would require me to care at this point)

Why did I let my daughter hang out with a schizophrenic? Why did I let my daughter hang-

After Homer feels the need for his style of 'comedy' (And it looks like the closing credits will be the best part of this episode), we cut to Lisa and Juliet in "Clam-Elot" as it's very dark and damp, but Juliet doesn't seem to mind much (Seeing as she's about one break-up away from becoming Mother Shabubu, I completely understand). We then see a scene of the family pulling up to the parking lot (They're at the wrong place) and Lisa and Juliet hear a car outside the restaurant (Look there's still 5 minutes left, they aren't there). Through the windows we see silhouettes of what appear to be Marge, Homer and Bart (Forget it, not going to work on me) however, we cut back to the family and here's a shocker; THEY ARRIVED AT THE WRONG PLACE! (Wow, that totally came out of left field, and here I thought that the last 5 minutes would be about Lisa having to deal with her friendship with a borderline psychopath). Back at the restaurant, it turns out to be Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney as they find Lisa and Juliet and decide to tie them up and lock them away in cages (... No comment, Rule 34 has been run into the ground WAY too much here) Oh and by the way, they aren't tied up when they're in the cages... consistency, who needs that?

Ummm... Uhhh.... Insert your own bondage joke here

Kearney is left to guard Lisa and Juliet. Lisa tells Juliet about her being afraid and Juliet comforts her by telling her to imagine Bollvile. However, at this point Lisa decides that enough is enough and tells Juliet that Bollville is not real. Juliet counters by saying it's better than where they are and she offers her hand to Lisa, which Lisa grabs (Minor note, the cages have a convenient hole just bigger than their arms. Now here's a fun game to play at home: re-read both of these parts, take a shot for every time I describe the Lisa-Juliet relationship as gay) After some ramblings between Lisa and Juliet (That's the best way to describe this, I swear) Kearney gets intrigued and Lisa and Juliet decide to use Kearney's uncharacteristic curiosity against him, getting him to free them both (It's almost done, it's almost done). We then see Kearney listening to Lisa read her story with a lot of interest (Well, there's a sucker born every second, I mean there are people who LIKE this episode).

Lisa: "Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, Someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something"

Jimbo and Dolph come back as they're shocked to see Lisa and Juliet are free. After some pretentious dialogue from Juliet (Ten bucks says that when this show is finally done, she will end up as the least popular supporting character) Jimbo decides to burn her book in front of her (Jimbo is my favorite character in this episode, not only does he hate Juliet, but he wants to see her suffer). However, Kearney starts to hallucinate this all as Bollville (Oh for fucks sakes, Who left the LSD out?) and decides he needs to save the oh-so-important tales of Bollville (Hey if Twilight can get published, I guess anything can). In Kearney's hallucination, he's beating them up, but in reality, he's getting his ass handed to him (I think there's a very important lesson to be taken away from all this, if we use our imagination hard enough, this episode can seem only mediocre. Let me try... DAMMIT!). Lisa and Juliet escape (but we don't see them take the book, odd) and Lisa decides that she needs to stop escaping to a fantasy land and live in reality (Is this supposed to be some sort of half-assed message? If so, I have a simple response: FUCK! YOU! WRITERS!!!). Juliet mocks Lisa for daring to want to live a normal life in the real world (2 more minutes, just 2 more minutes). Juliet then leaves Lisa as Lisa decides to call her cuckoo (This is beyond the pot calling the kettle black).

Good-night sweet bitch; and flights of demons sing thee to thy rest

We cut to two months later as it turns out that Lisa sent her novel to a publication and it got rejected (Naw, really? And here I thought we had the greatest story of modern times on our hands). After Bart insults Lisa and Marge tries to comfort her, the episode ends with Homer deciding that we need one more hallucination as he just imagines his family as random objects (...I've got nothing, I'm just waiting for the credits). Okay here we go, the best part of the episode; the credits, let's see them. The episode truly ends with Bart introducing Fallout Boy over the end credits as they do a shitty remix of the ending credits theme... And the circle is truly complete, not only did this episode fail on every category possible, but they managed to fuck up the credit sequence. Congrats staff, you managed to suck in EVERY category. YOU FAIL!

Final Verdict: This abomination to man was fucking AWFUL. The bottom of the barrel, the episode that is the measuring stick to every shitty episode out there. Not only did the writing suck, the jokes suck and everything else suck, but there was absolutely no entertainment value at all. This was a fucking nightmare and a true pain to sit through. I know I use hate quite a bit (Even dedicated a theme month to it) but I can calmly say that I reserve the deepest feelings of true hate towards this. I will leave with just one thought: FUCK! THIS! EPISODE!!!

Final Grade: 0.0/10 If I was allowed to go negative, I would, but going negative feels cartoony and I want to be serious about this.

Boy Meets Curl (Video)

Just a project, planning on doing more in the near future of past text-reviews

Give honest feedback, I want to know your honest opinion about this

Looking Ahead: Upcoming Guest Stars

Since this show hasn't been really relevant in years (People don't talk about this show as often as other shows, nor does it get much attention from the online community) the show really has been relying on "important" guest stars to grab attention. Whether they are big names whose sole purpose is to exist onscreen and basically tell the audience "Hey we got *Insert guest star here* to appear" (Katy Perry, Mark Zuckerberg, Danica Patrick, etc) or guest stars for the sole purpose of doing something "edgy" or "noteworthy" (Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Daniel Radcliffe, etc) the writers always find ways to make the guest appearance on The Simpsons seem less and less like a major accomplishment (Remember the days when a cameo on this show actually meant something? Yeah, it's becoming harder and harder to remember that). So today I take a look at who will be making cameos and what they'll be doing in said cameos while offering a little commentary on each one.

Kiefer Sutherland- Security Guard Wayne

• So this will be his third cameo on the show (24 Minutes and G.I. D'oh for his other two). Honestly there's not really much to say, my bet is that he'll be onscreen for about 6 total minutes (Plus or minus 2 minutes) and be rather 'meh'(Not important nor really forgettable)

Tom Colicchio- Himself

• Well that didn't take too long. We're two cameos in and already having a "Voicing themselves" cameo. And remind me again, didn't Marge recently participate in some cook-off or something? I don't see this ending well

Theodore Roosevelt- Himself

• I debated on whether this counted or not, but Al Jean counted this in his list of guest stars for the San Diego Comic-Con, so I'm counting it (Although I find it pathetic just how close to fanboyish he sounded in announcing it. I'm convinced when he got approval to use the archival footage, he literally squeed)

Jonah Hill- Unconfirmed

• I'm just going to go out on a limb and bet he's going to voice himself, next guest star

Jeremy Irons- Moe's Bar Rag

• ... Am I on drugs? Apparently not, because Jeremy Irons will be voicing Moe's Bar Rag in a historical account of it's existence. You know, I can't help but be reminded a bit of the Simpsons Spinoff Showcase where Grampa voices Moe's Love Tester. The difference between that and this? THE SPINOFF WAS A PARODY OF SITCOMS! I bet this will be taken seriously

Jane Lynch- Roz (Power Plant assistant)

• Anyone else getting Mindy vibes from this? Then again, I'm going to have to refrain myself from jabbing my eyes out at the idea of ANOTHER fucking Glee cameo.

Michael Cera- Nick (Lisa's love interest)

• Ah so I see Lisa's straight again, thank God for retconning. But in all seriousness, this will probably be another underdeveloped character that nobody cares about and will give a very forgettable performance (Despite having a decent movie career)

Armie Hammer- Winklevoss Twins

• Isn't this the equivalent of having David Tennant guest star as The Doctor? I'm sorry, but when the writers are so lazy that they bring in a guest star just to do a role that they recently finished, I can't help but call lazy. Granted it did work for Brother From Another Series, however, that was a brief moment and meant to satirize how they got both Grammer and Hyde-Pierce together.

Bryan Cranston- Stradivarius Cain (Movie Spy)

• Honestly, I don't get this casting, then again, I didn't watch Malcolm in the Middle or much of his other work so I can't really judge here.

Ted Nugent- Himself

• Great, a conservative nutjob playing a conservative nutjob. Talk about ideal casting.

Lady Gaga- Herself

• And I've saved the best (Or worst) for last. Lady Gaga is an okay singer in my opinion (Don't really like her songs, but I can tolerate them), but nobody really cares for her singing, rather than how outlandish she can be at every public outing. I just find this guest appearance on paper as wasted as I could probably name a dozen ways to make fun of her, but the writers probably won't do that and instead just turn her appearance into one like Katy Perry's. Oh and as far as that "Kissing Marge" thing, it will probably be just a harmless "Hello/goodbye" sort of thing and it's being blown out of proportion because the show needs ratings. But I'm being optimistic and judging by their track record as of late, it will be as bad as I think it will be.

And those are the known guest stars. Join me next week as I give final thoughts and one last look into the season premiere.