Episode 7: Mypods and Boomsticks

Who says the Simpsons can't tackle the big issues of today's society like; "Is my Islamic neighbor a terrorist?" I'll let that settle in for a minute. Okay minute's up. If you couldn't believe that then you'll have a hard time with today's episode that makes Archie from "All in the family" look like a perfect man. Let's sit back with our American flag and watch how bigoted we can be towards Muslims.

After a stupid opening (The chalkboard gag is "Prosperity is just around the corner"... I gotta admit, that's probably the funniest chalkboard gag I've ever seen. Oh wait they were trying to be serious... please just go away). We begin with the family going to the mall the day after Christmas, where we see how quickly we abandon the Christmas spirit as soon as possible (I personally spend three days afterwards just with my presents enjoying them). After watching the mall rid themselves of the Christmas decorations (I find the Dr. King stand-in ironic because this episode is exactly what Dr. King fought against. Clever writing or accidental symbolism? You be the judge) the family all return their kitten calendars that Bart got for them as last second presents. Lisa then discovers the "Mapple Store" (This ranks up their with the "Zii" in "Topical references that I cannot stand" the Simpsons satirizing Apple) and wants to go in. As we go in we see such clever parodies as "Mypods", "MyPhones", "Brainiac Bars", "MyCubes" and "MyPhonies" (Wow, I bet it took them all day to think up those great names didn't it?) After Lisa tries to buy some Ipod (I refuse to address them by their parody names, it demeans the writing) headphones to make people think she owns an Ipod (I personally hate the earbuds that came with my Ipod so I use an assortment of earbuds, does it mean I don't own an Ipod?)

Quick guys, we need to cram as many Apple references as possible!

Krusty comes in ranting about his own Ipod with nobody responding (I know the feeling) and he just decides to give it to Lisa (I would try to sell it on Ebay if I didn't like it and it was a gift but whatever). We then see our Steve Jobs parody "Steve Mobs"... (I need booze)(You know, in most parodies, they also change the first name a little...) about to give an announcement to the audience. Bart hooks up a microphone to the feed and supplies the audience with false information. This prompts Comic Book Guy to reference Apple's Superbowl commercial (Nice to know that the writing staff's version of "Humor" includes placing one of their characters in something that's already popular). After some unfunny lampshading about Steve Jobs the customers decide to go after Bart and he escapes by running... Seriously, he runs out of the mall and they stop chasing him. Remember, whenever you're being chased by an angry mob out for blood, run about 100 ft and they'll give up. Bart then meets Bashir who's cooking some lamb and just offers some to Bart (Frankly if someone came in my backyard I'd tell them to beat it). Bashir's mom Mina then introduces herself to Bart because he's Bashir's friend for all of 5 seconds (Ah yes, life-long friendship can be established in 5 seconds that seems more contrived than the romance in Twilight).

Wait a minute! This is supposed to be funny?!

Bart then tells Bashir about school and tells him not to tell anyone that he's muslim or the bullies will appear and beat him up, hey look at that, the bullies just happen to be there when he says that (What are they like Beteljuice and just arrive when you speak of them?)  Oh yeah, the reaction on Bart's face to the fact that there are different religions just further enrages me to how ignorant the writers think Americans are (You know, I like a good satire, but when you need character derailment in order to get it, it pisses me off). Bart gets them to back off by pointing out how they all have different religions and they start fighting each other (That had a point). Later we see Lisa listening to her Ipod, and Sherri and Terri instantly want to be with her because she has an Ipod. After some padding (In the form of a shitty Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, seriously 1:10 is devoted to this "Incredible" cartoon) we see Homer meet with Bashir in some more unfunny dialogue (Icepick on standby). Afterwards, we see Homer being mocked at the bar because Bart is friends with a Muslim boy (Now for the "clever" satire of America's intolerance). Moe then shows Homer an episode of 24 which convinces Homer that all Muslims are terrorists and he needs to find out how Bashir's family plans to destroy America... uh-huh. People, I'm leaving RBY in charge for the rest of this review because frankly, I'm insulted, my intelligence is being mocked with every line involving our intolerance against Islam. Take it away, RBY. *Walks away*

Care to be insensitive with me?

(Ok, let's see. In order to discover the secret new terrorist plot, Homer invites Bashir's family over to dinner and tells Marge to keep them talking. Homer begins his Archie impersonation by assuming that Bashir's father went to a tech university to create bombs (Strike 1). Homer goes to grab a cake that looks like the American flag and asks Bashir's father to cut it (Strike 2. Like, SERIOUSLY?). Homer continues to hate against the family by saying he won't cut it because they hate freedom (Strike 3). .....between this episode and the NYC thing, **** it. **** the haters, **** the ignorant jerks, **** the terrorists, **** EVERYONE!) NOT EVEN PART-TIMER WATCHERS CAN STAND THIS! Marge berates Homer for teaching Bart intolerance and tells him to go over and apologize. As Homer goes over to apologize, he sees Bashir's father in the garage with TNT and assumes they are terrorists (You know, it's people like Homer that make other countries believe that all Americans are lazy, ignorant bigots. I HATE THIS EPISODE! I HATE IT!!) Homer goes back home to tell Marge what he saw and she doesn't believe him (What a shock). Homer then has a dream involving the genie from Aladdin (Who Dan also voiced in the second movie) making Springfield a more Arab culture and Homer believes moreso that they are terrorists (I need my pills).

Oh Genie, grant me just one wish. WIPE THIS EPISODE FROM EXISTENCE!!

The next day, Lisa gets a package from Apple with her bill which totals $1,200 because she bought more songs than she thought. Yes I know that this is a reference to a woman who got a 300 page IPhone bill, the difference here is that was a phone bill, ITunes doesn't give bills like this. This joke fails because it's like trying to fit a puzzle piece into a spot that's too small, it doesn't fit. (FAIL!!). Homer then goes to Mina's house and comically mishears the what the husband's job is (Oh Homer, if only you weren't so bigoted you could have heard the real story). Homer then gets into Mina's house and finds out that her husband is to blow up the Springfield Mall (Homer's intolerance is now hurting me). After finding this out Homer evacuates the mall and sees Bart, Bashir and his father next to the dynamite plunger which is connected to the old Springfield Mall.

Shouldn't that read "We're sorry about the past 10 seasons"?

We cut to Bashir's father explaining his job is math and engineering rather than blowing things up. Homer then breaks into the boarded up Mall and throws the dynamite into the river (Odd how the police didn't catch him and put him behind the barrier but whatever). The dynamite explodes a bridge as Bart explains how stupid Homer is. Homer goes into the river to "save" the two Duff beer trucks that went in. Homer officially apologizes to the family as they accept and the Simpsons now have a new friend that they will never see again. Lisa goes to Apple HQ to try to settle her bill with Steve Jobs. Steve doesn't change the bill but hires her as an ad person dressed up as an Ipod on the corner.

Final Judgment: This episode is terrible, the satire of America's intolerance against the Islamic faith is not clever nor enjoyable. The writing is God-awful, Homer gives Archie Bunker a run for his money on who can be less sensitive against others and above all the story just is stupid. I know that there are people like this out there but nobody was calling for an episode about this.

Final Grade: 1.4/10 About as low as the Simpsons can go in terms of being insensitive. (AGDFAHDAFH RAAAGE)