The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants in 5 Seconds

Just turned a boring scene into something amusing

Episode 7: The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants

Homer as an assistant to Mr. Burns... that's all I have to say. Nope, no clever quip about how this show sucks, no mention of how this plot's been done several times before in the classic years, just straight onto the review. Okay before I start, this is the third episode in a row without an opening sequence, from now on, I'll only mention if they do include an opening sequence because it seems like they've dropped it for the Matt Selman Era.

The episode begins with Bart and Milhouse at a live recording of the Krusty show as Bart goes into a dream about seeing his 'corpse bride' coming down the aisle just to eat his brain (Okay I'll admit it was funny... until they had Homer talk at the very end ruining it for me). Krusty is confronted backstage by some business advisers as they tell him that they need to make a viral marketing campaign to sell his vodka and they suggest that he goes to a loyal fan's home to serve the vodka to generate positive buzz about it (It's gonna be Bart). Krusty tells the audience to send him letters saying why they should host the party and of course we see Krusty at Bart's home (Too predictable, but honestly I'm more upset about how lazy the transition was). Krusty's advisers tell Homer that they want his house to be the location of the party and wouldn't you know it, the party is a success with tons of people coming despite the only people who would come are people Homer invited (I would have been a bit more forgiving if the business advisers invited these people, but they say "All you have to do is invite every cool person you know" so no dice here). After they try to explain why there are so many people there (They say it's people from the plant, I'm pretty sure Captain McAllister, Blue haired Lawyer, Bumblebee Man and Rich Texan don't work at the plant) Mr. Burns arrives and starts to kill the mood of the party. The business adviser tells Homer to do something about Mr. Burns and Homer tries to get Mr. Burns to sing karaoke... WHAT? Is this a joke of some sort? I'm not talking about it being a "ha-ha" joke, but rather a joke on us. But because Burns sings the oldest song on the machine, everyone lightens up to him and sings along (I'm just going to put out an APB for the REAL Mr. Burns, if you'd like to help, just start posting signs around town).

Missing: One old man, goes by the name of Charles Montgomery Burns, if found please call...

Afterwards, Mr. Burns tells Smithers that it's because of Homer that he's enjoying himself at the party (Because heaven forbid Homer be involved in a plot that doesn't revolve around him). Now let me make one thing perfectly clear, I have no problem with the plots being around Homer, my problem here is that Mr. Burns and Homer are extremely out of character for this to work and Homer's rather forced into this, I can't look past either of these flaws. The next day, Mr. Burns informs Homer that he'll be promoting Homer to accountant of the plant. So let me get this straight, Mr. Burns decided to promote Homer to as he said it "One of the most important jobs in this plant" based solely on the fact that he was entertaining at the party? What delusional dimension do these people live in? Homer is then introduced to the old accountant who is retiring and after Homer hesitates, he agrees when he's told he will lose his soul (So he'll become a lawyer?) Later, we see Homer enter the sterile executive building as he's amazed by all the luxuries he gets (Okay so this is another example of the writers forgetting about the family being lower-middle class and just trying to make them Rich LA-type people, ugh).

Maybe this will make you funny again

So the old accountant (Not going to bother with his name, let's just call him Not-Karl) then informs Homer that he's sticking around to help Homer with his job and his first task is to convince the Mayor to approve a rate hike (Yeah the Not-Karl name is appropriate seeing as how this is a bum's version of Homer and Delilah) At the restaurant, we see Not-Karl go off with Quimby to talk about the tax breaks as Lenny and Carl walk by. Homer ignores them by drawing funny faces of them on the window (So what was the point of that scene? Are we going to get Mayored to the Mob next?) Later, we see Quimby, Homer and NK at a game where Homer sways Quimby by using a sports analogy (I'm not kidding that's their joke. We all know the real reason, but that was pointless and unfunny). Back at the office, Not-Karl offers some drinks for Homer but Homer looks at a picture of his family for a few seconds before saying yes. Not-Karl then gives Homer a set of bar tools as it's been passed down from accountant to accountant (Hmm... his character is too subtle, I THINK he might be an alcoholic given the fact that he drinks in every scene he's in... nah) Back home, Marge wants to bring Homer back to bed, but Lisa tells Homer that he was supposed to read to her. Homer blows Lisa off, telling Bart to read to Lisa and heads upstairs with Marge to bed, our protagonist everyone, a selfish jackass who ignores his own daughter. So Bart decides to read to Lisa anyways (Previously established character traits? What are those?) and while trying to read Little Women Bart has trouble reading words like 'Genius' and 'Patience'... BART IS NOT ILLITERATE! Bart might be a bit dumb, but these are not words he would mess up, does anyone on the staff have a clue how this show works?!

Bart: The kid then... um... uh... Stoo- died?
Lisa: That's 'Studied'
Bart: Is that how it's spelled? I never bothered with that word.

Anyways, Bart admits he's a bad reader (Bad reader and illiterate are two different things writers) and Lisa offers to help Bart improve his reading skills (You know, if Bart struggled with words like 'Onomatopoeia' or 'Commensurate' I could understand, but genius and patience are not complex words in my opinion and for him to struggle with them seems ludicrous). Later, we see a brief montage of Homer at his job as he gets tired but it ends with Homer on a lawnmower running over Smither's foot (Random cartoony-violence in a sitcom equals funny, guess I never got that memo). Later we see Homer getting home, but Marge is asleep so he goes to Moe, where Moe is asleep as well... let's move on. We then see Bart reading Little Women with no problem and Lisa feels accomplished that she's a mentor (Great to know that the only transition for that is... jack shit). I mean, seriously? They have a grand total of 3 scenes for this subplot, why bother including a subplot if you can't develop it? Oh wait, they couldn't reach the runtime without that filler, my mistake. So we see Homer drinking some bourbon at night as Marge comes down to find out what he's doing. Homer explains that his job is so meaningless and, hold on, I shouldn't have used 'explains' but rather 'whines', there the previous sentence makes more sense.

Nobody understand me, especially the writing staff

After Homer tries to be poetic in how loneliness is his wife (I've seen high school poems with deeper meanings than this) we see Maggie is still up and apparently, like Lisa, she too gets drunk on milk... that joke wasn't funny the first time, so of course; they think it's funny and stretch it out longer this time. Later, we see Marge approach Not-Karl at his awkward home (It might just be me, but I think this building could give the Leaning Tower of Pisa a run for its money). Marge asks Not-Karl to take his job back, but NK explains that the job emptied him and he won't take it back. After NK takes Marge to different places rather quickly (I'd say this is a parody of the Old Spice commercials, but that would be giving the writers too much credit) Not-Karl tells Marge to get Homer out before he loses touch with his family (Oh and the scene ends on a random bit about Kirk and Luann Van Houten at NK's place with some S&M gear... Okay, I'm going to pray that like the Ratatouille thing, this is just some reference I don't get, because there is no way that was meant to be a funny original joke). Later we see Bart reading on the playground (Little Women I might add, because thinking up of another book would be too hard... 1984, A Separate Peace, Shakespeare, Frankenstein, The Old Man and the Sea, The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye I can go on) and the bullies spot him reading. Bart convinces them not to beat him up by reading to them.

Bart: "When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations..."

Later, we see him finishing a chapter and the bullies says they'll be back for more. You know I'm glad that subplot was included, it was so vital for this episode to work. Later, we see Homer at the office as he's informed that Marge is there to see him. Homer tries to pretend that he isn't there but through bad jokes, Marge hears him anyways and barges in. Marge then tells Homer that she wants to go on a family vacation and Homer decides to treat his own wife like a client  and forces her out (Another example of why I hate this Homer, he fails to be human and is instead devoid of emotions while acting like a complete assclown). Mr. Burns comes in to tell Homer that some nuclear regulators are coming and then he notices the rafting brochure and decides to have a rafting session with them to loosen them up (Oh and Mr. Burns says: "Finally humanity has found a use for water"... anyone with an inkling of how a nuclear power plant works understands why I mentioned this). Homer realizes that the rafting could be done because he could be at work and with his family over the weekend. After Homer's secretary tells Homer that he has other plans, Homer assures her that he's got it under control as he hits Jub-Jub with a golf club into his aquarium (Why does he have Selma's pet? Ah screw it, I smell hijinks).

Oh shit! I've been spotted, must flee from family

On the river, we see Homer and the family in a raft enjoying themselves as Homer notices Mr. Burns on the raft across the river and he swims over there for the meeting. Okay you get the gist, Homer swims back and forth trying to balance both things, so I'm not going to go into detail, I will mention however that one of the jokes involves Bart watching a porno that was meant for the meeting despite Marge being right next to him as he watches it. I'm pretty sure Marge would throw a fit immediately but that would require the writers to remember that these people have character. After Homer gets caught by Marge, he gets in between both rafts and finds out that he can only save one raft from going over a waterfall (Correct me if I'm wrong, but rafting gives you paddles so you can direct yourselves while going down the river. Ah fuck logic, that would mean that this lazy plot wouldn't have a true resolution). After he questions who to save *Headdesk* Marge tells him to save them because they'll always be with him (That and they are your FAMILY!). Homer saves them and right before the business raft plummets, Not-Karl shows up out of nowhere to save Mr. Burns and leave the rest to die (Nah, they didn't die, they magically landed on a bed of marshmallows that was set up by Comic Book Guy on a picnic with Blue Haired Lawyer).

Rejoice, Homer's about to die :D

And the jerkass lives to find some gold... There is no justice

Afterwards, Mr. Burns forgives Homer because he saved them some money and he returns to safety inspector as Not-Karl decided to un-retire. Homer is thankful and after playing with Bart and Lisa some, he falls into the river and over the waterfall and dies (YAY! The series is over, Jerkass Homer is dead, all rejoice and-) Of course he lives and he finds some bars of gold which are lighter than regular bricks (Everything must go his way because the writers still believe we like this jackass) I mean, what the hell was that? He miraculously survives going over a waterfall and to compound the stupidity he finds gold which bears NO MEANING on this episode or future episodes. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the writers have turned Homer into a self-insertion fanfiction character. The episode truly ends with Homer and Marge in bed as Homer's glad that he's back to a safety inspector as we see the Nuclear Power Plant have a meltdown behind them (And that will have no point as status quo has been achieved and it will not be mentioned in next week's episode)

Final Verdict: This episode sucked, the plot was recycled and brought nothing original, the jokes were bad and the subplot and opening bits were entirely pointless to this episode. I don't get the idea to need 4 minutes before deciding what your plot's going to be, you should not be wasting that much time. In short, this was rather bad, but not the worst this season has to offer.

Final Grade: 2.6/10 Yep, that slight increase in quality was just an illusion and this season is going to suck again.

Bart Vs. Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. In the spirit of thanks, I take a look at a GOOD episode

The Book Job in 5 Seconds

Discover the terrifying truth about your favorite book series

Episode 6: The Book Job

Oh great, an episode where the writers think they're satirizing tween books (Because it worked so well last time) and a plot from a movie that's 10 years old and they think they're being topical with it. Okay, nevermind the fact that Family Guy actually did this idea two years earlier (Oops) but when they did it, Oceans Thirteen was two years old, so you could argue a restored interest in the first one. Here, the writers live in a timeless vortex where it's never quite the year that's actually happening. Eh, whatever, let's take a look at their attempt to mock tween culture, shall we?

The episode begins (Without an opening sequence. Is this going to be a new feature of the Matt Selman era?) with Marge and the kids at some performance of animatronic dinosaurs, which they see and the majority of the audience flees from (Was that meant to be some sort of joke? It wasn't as funny as they thought it'd be). Back inside, the performance goes on as the dinosaurs all die out and apparently it turns into an environmental PSA (Well that came out of left field; speaking of things coming out of left field, Homer's now there. Wasn't in the establishing shot, so I'm going with teleportation). Marge tries to get Bart to take the message to heart (All 5 seconds of it) but Bart decides that an asteroid will kill them all and they should just trash the place, to which Jerkass Homer agrees and Marge joins in as well... WHAT?! No, seriously, what the hell was that? One minute Marge is hoping a message affected him, the next minute, she's trashing the place just as well. So it looks like a new feature to the Matt Selman era as well includes inconsistency in script writing within a scene. THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LEVELS OF WRITING!

Lisa: Marge, I am disappoint

After the writers try to fix that error (This is even worse because it implies that Marge was swayed by Bart. HAS MR. VEBBER EVER WATCHED AN EPISODE BEFORE SEASON 10?! I don't think so) the family goes walking around and finds a gift shop. Homer tells them they can each have one toy and after Bart and Lisa bicker about toy size and quantity (Here's a simple solution, each gets a similar size toy. Oh wait, there's no way to transition to comedy from that, my mistake). After Homer tells them that only Maggie can have a toy, Bart throws a rock towards Homer (I know what they are, and I'm not degrading myself to acknowledging that 'joke') and misses terribly but in the process, knocks off a headpiece from one of the employee's costumes. Lisa recognizes the woman (Okay, who is she, because I don't know. But judging by her round eyes, I'm going to assume not a guest star) and starts chasing her with Homer. After Homer gets tired and sleeps in a T-Rex's mouth (Making his inclusion in the chase entirely pointless) Lisa catches up and reveals that the woman is T.R. Francis, the writer of the Harry Potter parody books (You remember, the series that hasn't been brought up since season 19. Judging by how stupid the writers think their audience is, I'm surprised they think that their audience would remember something that long ago).

Look Lisa, it's time I told you the truth, your characters are all fake

After Lisa asks some questions, Ms. Francis reveals that she's not real and she's just some actress who helped make up the life story to help sell the book (And this is about as high as my enthusiasm will go, because in the hands of competent writers, they'd think something clever, but in the hands of these guys... let's watch)(Why not use ACTUAL cases where this happens instead of J. K. Rowling? Like Brian Kelley!). Ms. Francis reveals that marketing research is done to determine what sells and gets a bunch of women desperate for a job to type thousands of pages non-stop so they can sell multiple books to fans (I never thought I'd be so disappointed with something so serious, but I can't help but feel that an answer of "1000 Monkeys at 1000 typewriters" or "Mythical creatures were captured and forced to type their way to freedom" would have been funnier) Lisa then runs away crying because her favorite book series has been exposed (Doesn't seem to stop the Twitards). After Homer is arrested for sleeping in the prop (Yeah, he was still pointless), Lisa decides that she wants to burn all her books (Seems like a bit of an overreaction to me, I mean does a book drop in quality just because it wasn't written like you thought it was? I mean people still enjoy Avatar despite it not having an original idea).

Lisa, what did the fire department tell you last time about attempted arson?

After Lisa lashes out a bit towards Marge, she then starts bitching towards Homer about how the books are really created and how they make millions, which gives Homer an idea (No Homer, you're too stupid, you thought a meth lab was a restaurant. You'd probably think that Twilight is a better romance than Romeo and Juliet). After the title of the episode flashes across the screen (Feel that pain in your body? That's the writers beating you with a 2'x4') Homer starts talking to Bart in an arcade a la Ocean's Eleven about writing books to make money (Not a good idea to remind us of much better things we could be watching right now). We then see Bart and Homer recruiting people to write a new tween book (They seriously use the term tween, another small part of me dies knowing that The Simpsons will go down as one of the shows to use the word tween). The crew consists of Seymour Skinner, Patty Bouvier, Moe Syslak, and Professor Frink (Eh screw a logical group, these characters are good enough) and Bart seems to think that he's missing someone (Oh I know this answer; LOGIC! Oh wait he said someone, not something, my bad). Lisa walks into Bart's room and discovers their plan and is disgusted that they're writing a book for profit *Bangs heads against desk* (I wonder what she thinks books should be written for. While I'm not a big fan of 'just for money', writing novels IS a legitimate job) and to show them, she'll write a book all by herself (I'm sorry, is this show a comedy or a drama? This doesn't feel like a comedy at all).

All right, time to write a best-seller based on my life. I wonder if "My Struggles" is taken.

The next morning we see Lisa start her novel on her MacBook (Yeah because this family is so stinkin' rich that even Lisa can have an Apple Laptop. No, this isn't one of those cheap 400 dollar laptops, Apple laptops are expensive). However, she gets distracted by a bunch of things such as internet games and her CDs (Yep, this is totally what Lisa would do for a project that she's dedicated to... I hate this already). After another title card explaining what's going on. (YOU'RE NOT OCEAN'S ELEVEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SIMPSONS GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!) We see the group discussing what tween books have in common, Homer gets the brilliant idea to just take all those attributes and make a story with that as the premise (So in other words; be unoriginal. Writers, stop putting your philosophies into the episodes). After Homer is told that the vampire tween genre is overdone, the group tries to scram, but Bart decides they need to go in a different direction (I like how they have every opportunity to this point, but have not made fun of Twilight. Putting non-comedic writers in a comedy doesn't end well). They come up with the idea of a troll instead and are approached by Neil Gaiman to co-author their book (Yep, because famous people literally fall from the sky in Springfield just when they are need for the plot. I would talk about how lazy this is, but I think you get the point).

Hey! Keep your hands off him, Neil Gaiman is awesome.

After Moe threatens to kill Neil (Random violence is funny, right?) he's accepted onto their team as we see Lisa in the background trying to write her novel, but, of course, she keeps getting distracted (Okay, how many times are they going to replay this same scene? I'd normally guess three, but that wouldn't be enough filler for the episode). After a montage showing Lisa's non-progress vs. Homer's team's progress (Yay for filler!) we see that Homer's team finished and of course they didn't screw up at all (So I guess another one of Homer's many talents is writing novels as well, their laziness knows no bounds). Back home, we see Lisa pacing back in forth where her desk is normally (Consistency, what's that?) and she finally gets some inspiration, but she realizes her idea is The Little Mermaid and determines that writing is too hard (...what. The. Hell.)... The line 'Writing is too hard", Lisa writing a novel herself... OH DEAR GOD IT'S LISA THE DRAMA QUEEN ALL OVER AGAIN! Quick! Bar Juliet from Springfield now! Lisa then notices Bart and Homer printing their book in Lisa's room from a printer on her desk (Oh my God how stupid are these people? The printer was not there in the previous shot and as mentioned before, that desk cannot exist there as physically, there is no room for it to be there. I guess Springfield just exists in a dimension that has no time or space).

Continuity? Yeah right

After Bart and Homer rub it in her nose that they're finished (Oh go jump off a bridge the both of you) we see the group take their novel to a book fair and present it to a publishing company named TweeLit Inc. (I see that creativity is still optional in the writing room. But what do you want to bet that everyone in the writing room thought that name was brilliant?). The man tells the group that he loves the idea and he would publish it (Because Homer can do whatever he wants. Next week, he'll be a physicist); however, because there's no fake author or fake backstory, he cannot accept it (Okay, I did find them taking a shot at Stephen King to be funny. But in all seriousness, Stephen King is great)(Mileage may vary on recent works, but they could've used Richard Bachman). After the book disappears from the table, Homer and the team walk away regretting not thinking of that (Oh hey, the book magically reappeared). Bart suggests that they find someone to pose as the author. They find Lisa at the fair and Homer tells Lisa that she can be their author (and Lisa has no problem whatsoever with going along with what she was fighting against in the first place... There are no amount of expletives to express my frustration towards this writing)

So your backstory is that you were constantly misunderstood by incompetent writers? I'll go with that.

Lisa tells the publisher a fake backstory and the publisher buys the book for exactly one million dollars (Okay, so how is this making fun of the publishing business? Again, having monkeys at typewriters would be funnier. Oh wait, typewriters are pre-2000, they'd all have MacBooks, my mistake). At Moe's Bar, the team celebrates and Lisa can't believe she sold out her beliefs in a moment of weakness, however to try to hide that lampshading of character derailment, Bart mentions how she'll get attention from boys and she forgets what she said (Another example of how the writers forget the ages of their characters as they views Bart and Lisa as teens instead of children). Frink comes in with an advanced copy of their novel as everything has been changed to make it a vampire book (Congratulations Twilight, you are no longer the worst vampire book of all time) Afterwards, the publisher tells Homer that the market testing showed that the vampire version was better than the troll version and explains how Twilight involved a golem initially (It took them 16 minutes to make a Twilight joke?! I'm just going to go weep in a corner for about 30 minutes)

Yeah this was the best they could think of in an episode that targets Tween culture... I weep for our future

After they all complain about getting screwed, Neil explains that they actually did care about their novel and not just the money (If only ever writer actually cared about the quality of their work). Everyone decides that they want revenge, but Bart only cares about the money until he finds out his favorite part was changed as well (And he rips the check, no you idiot, you cash the check AND get revenge. Actually the family seems to have an infinite source of money so I can see why $1 million isn't worth keeping). We then see the group (Minus Lisa, well seeing as she disappeared from Moe's Bar earlier, I guess she was written out) outside the headquarters as they plan to swap out the data with their original book data. After a montage of the group going through headquarters (This is rather boring, I wonder what's on the SYFY channel?) the group gets to the room with the central computer (You know, I just realized something. HOW did they know the schematics of the building? I don't know, but just watch out for that gaping plot hole while watching this scene).

Who knew the book publishing business was this competitive?

The publisher (Does he have a name? *Goes to check* nope, I'll just call him Bob) informs them that he was tipped off and he reveals that Lisa tipped him off. Lisa explains that with this novel, she'll get recognition and she'll be allowed to write the sequel (Who is this person and what has she done with Lisa?) Bob then enters the password, gives Lisa the USB drive with the book and Lisa apologizes to Bart as she hugs him right before putting the USB drive into the computer to be published (I can tell you the twist right now; The USB drives were switched when Lisa hugged Bart, it's too obvious) Later, Homer and the group feel defeated but when they pass by a bookstore they see their original book and Lisa tells them that she pretended to betray them and switched the drives when she hugged Bart (Called it, predictable writing is predictable). The group then gets to see everyone enjoy their book as Lisa finds out that Neil was credited as the author instead. The episode ends with Neil on a beach as he explains that there were three drives and he won again (Okay that was probably the best scene of the episode, but Neil Gaiman instantly rose this episode from crap to mediocre just by existing).

Final verdict: This episode was pretty bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I think the biggest problem (Outside of not making fun of Twilight, seriously, that's like shooting fish in a barrel) was that this episode took itself way too seriously. This is a comedy, not a drama. The jokes weren't good, nor were they that bad either, the episode resembled having a plot and the writing was meh and forgettable. In short, this is another "Not terrible" episode in my opinion and if you wanted to see Ocean's Eleven with Simpsons characters... there's probably a better fanfiction already made.

Final Score: 3.9/10 Not terrible, but wouldn't recommend it either

The Food Wife in 5 Seconds

The writers live in a world where everyone is rich and live peaceful lives while eating anywhere.

In other news, unemployment and crime rates are rising.

Episode 5: The Food Wife

Oh hey, a bunch of celebrity cameos, that'll make this episode good, right? Someone really needs to inform this staff that quality writing was what made this show good, not "We've got a bunch of celebrities, so watch our show". A lot like special effects *Cough*Micheal Bay*cough*, people like these guys think that they can mask over their inept writing and awful jokes with a bunch of fanservice and guest stars and it'll be alright. Case in point, the "Lisa learns magic" was perhaps one of the best episodes last year, but that didn't prevent it from being crap anyways. Likewise, Judge Me Tender and Elementary School Musical had 13 guest stars between them and were both utter garbage. With that said, let's take a look at today's episode.

The episode begins (Without an opening sequence I may add, considering how they'll lean on a padded out opening segment to cover up their less-than full episode, I'm surprised) with Marge deciding that the kids deserve a fun weekend with Homer and Homer takes the kids to E3 er I mean E4 (Meh, not really anything bad). After an Angry Birds reference (Oh hey, look, a joke that'll make this episode dated real quick) we see Homer gives the kids VIP passes so that they can get in quicker (How did they even get in? E3 is a private event to people associated with the gaming industry. Just write it up as another "Writers don't understand the outside world") Inside, we get a panoramic shot complete with a bunch of lame electronic jokes (Eh at least give them credit in the fact that it didn't focus 5 seconds on each joke and it requires you to actually require freeze frame to read them clearly). after a couple of scenes of Bart and Lisa playing some games (No real jokes here, you might get a laugh) we see Homer grab some Frisbees from "Medal of Duty" (SMH) and go into a FPS mode as he throws the Frisbees to get the kids towards another hall (This isn't bad, but I wish they could have taken advantage of some of the flaws in FPS and made fun of them instead).

Anyone else getting Doom flashbacks?

Later, we see Homer and the kids arrive home and they're on bouncy balls exclaiming that they love 'Fun dad' (Well as long as it isn't Jerkass dad, I'm all for it). Marge tells them to take a rest, but Homer takes them away and grabs the Flanders while bouncing away... whu? Marge then tells Homer that she feels left out and wants to have the kids attention herself. Homer tells her that she can pick the next event and of course, she picks something that sucks and the kids hate her for it (You know, between the E3bit and this, it doesn't drag too much, but it didn't need to be this long either, they could have cut a few things out and nothing would have been lost). On the car ride home, Marge tries to apologize, but Bart and Lisa are still mad at her for what she did. The car then breaks down and they have do drive to a nearby town to wait for a towtruck. They stop in Little Ethiopia... How big IS Springfield exactly? Judging by how many different places they've included, Springfield must be bigger than Dallas and New York combined. However, because the neighborhood is unfamiliar and scary looking, Marge locks the doors and hopes they don't get attacked (Hey that's racist!)

We can't leave the car Lisa, all the internet trolls are waiting for us

After Lisa tells Marge that she's hungry, Marge takes a look outside and decides to try to sprint towards a restaurant (You know, that sidewalk doesn't look the least bit intimidating at all, either Marge really is racist, or the director forgot that this was supposed to be a "Menacing looking" neighborhood. Neither answer would surprise me). Once they spot a restaurant, Bart and Lisa just casually walk out and Marge follows them (So the whole "This neighborhood is scary" was completely forgotten 30 SECONDS AFTER THEY BROUGHT IT UP! Continuity within a scene is for shit here). In the restaurant, Lisa encourages Marge to be exotic with her food choice and she picks something on the side that isn't translated! Um... far out? I like how the entire restaurant gasps at the idea of someone ordering something from the back is like eating a Guatemalan insanity pepper. Once she eats some of it, we see her tongue as her taste buds all stand up and start partying (So in other words, There's a party in her mouth and everyone's invited?) The kids start eating the food as well and they too enjoy it (So I have to ask, why did everyone gasp at the idea of them ordering something good?) Suddenly Comic Book Guy and Sideshow Mel arrive together at the restaurant and wonder what Marge is eating.

Dammit, Mel! We've been spotted. Now the slashfics are starting

Okay a few problems, 1.) Why CBG and SS Mel? What could those two possibly have in common that's actually been established? 2.) If I am to interpret the later scenes correctly, CBG and SS Mel come here often. They have NEVER had this meal? WHY is this meal such a big deal? They're acting like it was just created 5 minutes ago and nobody has ever tried it before. This plot's not even 3 minutes old and yet has more holes than a minefield, eh let's continue. Marge and the kids invite SS Mel and CBG to join them and they invite some "Foodies" to join them. After they eat some more, CBG explains what "Foodies" are and what they've been doing. Later, we cut back home where Homer decides he doesn't want to partake in what they're doing and then proceeds to take his pants off and eat directly from the fridge... You just know that scene was made SPECIFICALLY for the promo. Lisa suggests the Marge and Bart that they start up their own food blog and call themselves "The Three Mouthketeers" (Yeah I'm never calling them that again, how about... hmm... The Three Nuts, or TTN for short)

Again, it's amazing how a simple joke can be vastly different given the writers

After Homer resurrects himself from choking (I'm reminded of that good joke from Homer's Triple Bypass where he has a heart attack and resurrects himself to get a free ham. This is nowhere close to that joke) we get a montage of TTN sampling different food as they upload photos of themselves with the food to their blog and the montage song is like a rejected South Park montage song (Let's count the number of things wrong here; montage, annoying "We use the internet and technology just like everyone else" and drawn out, goody). Afterwards, Homer tries to get Bart and Lisa back to him by showing them KrustyLand on his laptop (Which he places on top of their laptop). However, Marge reminds Bart and Lisa that they're going to an exclusive restaurant because their blog is very popular, as Lisa puts a third laptop on top of the other two to demonstrate what the restaurant does.

Uh, Lisa? Where the hell did you grab the laptop from?

Okay let's talk problems here; 1.) The family has at least three laptops? Why not make it five and have a scene of Maggie on MySpace since they probably think MySpace is still popular. 2.) Their food blog is THAT popular? Again, the writers have no clue how real life works. Local bloggers do not get that popular, if they had them join some sort of "Foodies" group then there might be some merit behind that idea. But nope, that would require effort, instead, they're just 'Instant experts' on this topic and everything goes their way. Would you expect it any other way from these guys? Anyways, Marge tells homer not to be jealous and this causes Homer to start crying as he crawls his way up the stairs (Ah, so Marge is now a troll, you mad Homer?) Later, we see Homer in the garage as he's making a baseball bat because apparently that's what he does when he's sad (No he makes baseball bats after tree limbs fall down and he's on the company softball team. GET IT RIGHT!) Marge then invites Homer to their event and Homer agrees. Homer informs Bart and Lisa, and they get happy to hear that, this causes Marge to worry that Homer will take all her thunder away from the kids. later, Marge has a nightmare that her and the kids are going to try new food, but Homer barges in to be 'Jerkass Food Dad' and takes them away from her (And some other random people as well... where did they come from? Shut up, that's where).

I am here to ruin everyone's fun

Marge is then interrupted by a seemingly bored Gordon Ramsey (Seriously, he sounds bored. Maybe it's because all I've seen of him is a few Hell's Kitchen but he does not sound interested in this role at all) and is told that she blew her chance by inviting Homer. After real Gordon Ramsey wakes up (With the line of "What in the bloody hell was that?" I agree, what the bloody hell was up with that dream sequence?) Marge tries to encourage the kids to not invite Homer, but they want him to come. Later, Marge gives Homer the wrong address and Maggie gives Marge a disappointing look (To which she scoffs off). Later, the family arrives at the restaurant and Homer arrives at a meth lab (I know Homer is stupid, but how is he so stupid that he can't even identify that he's in a meth lab? It takes a HUGE amount of suspension of disbelief to buy this character derailment, and I don't have that much). We then cut back to TTN where Marge tries to ignore the fact that Homer isn't there and their scenes are intertwined with Homer at the meth lab with each scene of that just further driving the fact that Homer cannot have a functioning brain (They even have a scene where Homer mistakes meth addicts for hipsters... charming)

Yeah because I can totally understand how ANYONE could mistake
this for a fancy, high-end restaurant

You know, after watching the restaurant scenes with TTN, I have to believe that Matt Selman thought that just having the characters say a bunch of big words would translate to comedy. Really, it's the equivalent of saying 'Banana' 'Kumquat' 'Pickle' 'Pudding' while those words can be funny to say, there's no real joke behind them. Back at the meth lab, we see Homer about to inhale some meth, but the police suddenly break in and gunfire ensues (I'm not going to question how the police knew about this meth lab, given their competence. But I'm just going to leave that thought out there). Back at the restaurant, we see them serve porkchops 100 ways and Bart and Lisa are stunned that Homer is missing this (Oh minor note, Lisa never pushes them away. They would try to cover it up claiming the porkchops were vegetarian, but I have a better solution; The writers are idiots who can't grasp basic continuity and just forgot about Lisa's vegetarianism for that scene). Marge calls Homer and finds out that he's at a meth lab, Marge tries to get the 'Foodies' to help her, but they couldn't possibly leave without eating every meal provided (Because as we all know, if you're ever obsessed with something, that thing is more important than human life... *Facedesk*)

Okay, Wiggum and company outside

Place is on fire

And now neither are true, continuity isn't required anymore

Marge decides to leave without them and is given a dessert by the chef in a fancy bag (Again, this is just "Throw big/fancy words together" instead of actual jokes). At the meth lab, we see the police outside as they allow Marge to go in to save her husband (Wait, weren't they inside having a gunfight? Speaking of which, what happened to the meth addicts? Basic continuity again, herp a derp) Inside, the main badguy is chasing Homer as the meth lab around them is burning up, he is about to kill Homer, but Marge shoots the dessert given earlier and the man suddenly goes into a dream where he imagines himself as a French child... I don't get it either(EDIT: Thank you Sean in the comments for pointing this out as a Ratatouille reference). Back in the present, Wiggum knocks him out as the fire is all gone now (Continuity is for losers!) Marge apologizes for sending him there and the episode ends with Homer and Marge taking the kids to Krustyland as they all have a good time.

Final Verdict: This episode was bad, but not nearly as bad as the past two weeks. Don't get me wrong, this reeks of a lot of the problems that plague Modern Simpsons but it's not terrible either. The plot was rather okay, albeit a lot of padding and unnecessary scenes (Seriously, that E4 bit went on too long), the jokes about 'Foodies' sucked and the jokes in general were underwhelming and things like continuity were for shit. And the guest voices again, were wasted, 3 out of 5 of them appeared in that pointless dream sequence, but the other two were used pretty well. In the end, it's not worth a watch, but if you're curious, it won't hurt.

Final Grade: 3.7/10 So much potential, so little effort

Episode 6: Little Orphan Millie

So with Milhouse's parents divorced and staying divorced, we all expected that to remain a constant throughout the series. Then this episode rolled along, I guess Al Jean hates all things resembling quality so he tries his damn hardest to have the new episodes allude to the old ones, but at the same time try their best to retcon them. With that said, let's take a look at today's episode.

The episode begins with the Simpsons and the Van Houtens all having a picnic when Marge notices a bee on Maggie (Say, this scene has Homer in it, but isn't about him, let's see how long that lasts). Homer tries to calm Maggie away from the bee, only to stand up and get a beehive stuck on his head (Like fucking clockwork). This then leads to him falling in a blueberry patch and rolling himself up in the green picnic blanket (Yeah that bad joke of "Homer looking like Marge" was totally worth the dozens of brain cells that just died). Kirk Van Houten then announces that he and Luann are getting back together (Because as we all know, season 19 is FAR superior to season 8... I'm just going to go punch a wall for an hour). Then again, the saving grace is that nobody CARED about this episode, so in reality, they're still divorced. After some banter between Milhouse and his parents, we see Homer trying to get ready for the wedding. Marge suggests that he wears a tie that goes with her eyes and thus begins the subplot of Homer (And the audience) trying to figure out Marge's eye color (Okay, I've got this one. Her eye color is black, there, problem solved).

Come on Marge! There's no time for peek-a-boo now

After Marge needlessly runs into a bunch of things (Senseless violence = humor) we go to the wedding where Marge again complains about Homer not knowing her eye color. Okay, I've got to ask a question. Does this seem out-of-character for her to anyone else? She knows he's flawed when it comes to remembering things and she's forgiven him for worse things. I just feel that Marge being bitter towards Homer over a small detail like that is just very out-of-character for her. After an unfunny re-marriage (Just keep padding this out) we see Kirk and Luann going on a cruise and leaving Milhouse with the Simpsons (Hey Marge isn't covering her eyes. Quick Homer! Go look into her eyes, oh wait, the director forgot that detail, silly me). Back home we see Homer telling Bart and Milhouse a bedtime story as they're roasting their continuity-defying marshmallows.

Bye everyone, we're leaving forever

They then both go to sleep (At first glance I thought they were in the same sleeping bag, but considering what happens in Double, Double, Boy in Trouble, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case) Milhouse expresses how he feels happy that his parents are back together again (That's the cue for a predictable "ironic" event). On the cruise, we see Luann and Kirk are both a bit tipsy as Kirk tries to carry Luann into the room, but happen to stumble through the hallway, and through a very small casino onto the deck where apparently railings are non-existent and they fall over. Okay, there's just too much bullshit to complain about here, so I'll make this quick:

• If you were ever on a cruise that shaky, the boat's probably made of wood and from the 1700's
• I think Kirk took a grand total of 7 steps through a casino, even a dorm room requires more than 7 steps from one end to another
• Momentum doesn't work that way, even in cartoon physics

Hey, think of the bright side, that could've been the second Titanic

Okay, stupid scene over, let's continue. After we see Kirk and Luann in the ocean, we cut back home where Bart and Milhouse find a hole and it leads to them flushing a bunch of spiders out of another hole, which interrupts Lisa's and Jannie's tea party (Well that was pointless and not too humorous, way to kill about 30 seconds there). We then see a car driving towards the home in a scene straight from Saving Private Ryan as the men inform Milhouse that his parents were lost at sea (Huh, no Castaway jokes, I thought that would have been more appropriate). And because death isn't funny, Bart comes by to spray Milhouse with a hose until he's told that Milhouse's parents may have died (I love how they always manage to take away any emotion from a scene with so little effort). The men then tell Milhouse that they'll try to look for them, but it's doubtful they will be able to find them (Eh, they're probably partying with Tom Hanks and Wilson right now). After Marge and Homer decide to take Milhouse in (Do they have any other choice?) we cut to the next morning where Homer does his best to act like a complete asshole in listing all the things they have with sea-related names (Just more filler for you, because real jokes or substance requires effort). Marge and Bart try to cheer Milhouse up, but Milhouse has decided that going emo is better (I swear if he goes emo Peter Parker, I quit).

Whose that dork?

It's Milhouse!
Milhouse: Pain is the only way to feel

After Maggie gives Milhouse her bottle, Milhouse realizes he needs to grow up and put the death of his parents behind him...wait what? We then go to Homer looking for the photo album as Marge has put a lock on the wedding album and Homer doesn't know the combination. The next day, we see Milhouse wearing a black leather jacket standing under a tree being about as interesting as Edward Cullen (Crap Milhouse has become emo Peter Parker). After Lisa seems intrigued by Milhouse's new emo personality (Why must they try to get them together?) Nelson insults Milhouse, but Milhouse's apathetic dialogue causes Lisa to fawn for him some more (Screw previously established character development... ugh). Milhouse tells Nelson to beat him up and Nelson can't bring himself to do it. Nelson then tells Bart that he's been replaced as the coolest kid in school and Bart feels that Milhouse won't threaten him for that title (Thanks for setting up the plot Bart, here's your check, have a nice day). After Bart gets left alone at lunch, we see that emo Milhouse truly is the most popular kid now (I blame Twilight for allowing these pseudo-philosophical emo kids to be considered cool) After Bart literally begs for attention (Like father, like son I guess) we get to see Marge dance with Bart to try to cheer him up (That's an image that'll never leave my mind). Later, Bart decides that he needs to get Milhouse back to what he was before, but is interrupted by Homer being hypocritical in telling Bart to just think his thoughts (No, not ironic, that would imply his bit was funny). Bart decides to call Milhouse's Danish uncle to try to make Milhouse happy again, and thus unpopular.

Can you tell me who this "Indiana Jones" guy is? I'm Indiana Joe

At the airport, Bart thinks a big nerd is the uncle, but is surprised when Indiana Jones, er I mean Norbert Van Houten comes in via his own bi-plane. After Norbert punches out the nerd (Because he was so funny...) we cut to the park where Norbert tells Milhouse he's there for him and Milhouse decides that he doesn't need Norbert, which makes Norbert proud of Milhouse and makes Milhouse even more popular (Don't these girls have some sparkly vampires to swoon over?) Back home, Homer still can't figure out Marge's eye color, until Grampa on a hammock tells him that he wrote a song for Marge. Homer recites the song and remembers her eyes are Hazel, Marge hears that and she forgives Homer (Oh thank God it's over, that subplot was so intense).

~I always feel like, someone's watching me~

After Uncle Indy (New name for him) lets Milhouse fly hi bi-plane, Bart asks Lisa why he's jealous of Milhouse. She tells him that he loves Milhouse and after some denial, Bart admits that he does love Milhouse (And thus more Yaoi Fanfic was created). The next day at school, Skinner announces that Milhouse is leaving to go live with Uncle Indy. As theyleave via hot-air balloon (I know something else that's full of hot air) Bart grabs onto the rope and tells Milhouse he doesn't want to see him leave. Bart goes along with them and the hot-air balloon ends up colliding with Luann and Kirk's attempt to get off an island they were apparently stranded on the entire time (No Wilson, I'm saddened by this). Milhouse reverts back to his babyish ways when he sees his parents and all is saved when Uncle Indy announces he radioed for help. The episode ends with Kirk and Uncle Indy getting into a fight because of some ethnic issue or something.

Final Verdict: This episode was bad, but not terrible, it could have been far worse. The subplot was annoyingly pointless and mundane, the idea to reunite Milhouse's parents was dumb and poorly executed and the whole "Milhouse is a dark, misunderstood outcast" was just ludicrous. But in the end, it's not something that's mind-numbing nor is it really worth your time.

Final Grade: 3.7/10 If it didn't have "Emo Milhouse" I think it would have been better

Postcards From the Wedge

Today we take a look at one of the worst writers on the show today.
In-Depth look: http://krikensworld.blogspot.com/2011/07/hate-month-postcards-from-wedge.html
Count Jackula's Site: http://www.thecountjackulashow.com/

Replaceable You in 5 Seconds

Two jokes, very similar in design, but different in execution

Episode 4: Replaceable You

Uh let's see *Checks calendar* Despicable Me was released in theaters on July 7th 2010, and today is November 7th 2011. Seems like perfect timing to me to have this title. In other news, The Simpsons will have an episode called Mr. Homer's Penguins that'll air in February 2013 and  another called Horrible Parents that'll air in May 2013. Okay you get the gist, Modern Simpsons has never been known to have their titles or topical references actually be relevant when they air. They seem to be disconnected with the outside world and think that they can do the same things as South Park. News flash: South Park is usually written and produced within the week of its airing. So for them, the topical jokes are still fresh, for Simpsons... you'll find fresher things in a garbage bag. Anyways, with a completely original idea of Homer having to worry about a woman at his workplace *Cough* The Last Temptation of Homer *cough* this should be a smash, right? Well smashing your head against a table sounds like a more entertaining thing to do, let's take a look at today's episode.

The episode begins (After a 1:30 opening and a 30 second Itchy and Scratchy cartoon with no true humor. You know what? The itchy and Scratchy cartoon was more Halloween-related then their Halloween special. That is sad) with Lisa showing Bart her science project and Bart is unimpressed (As am I, Lisa should be recording how smart hamsters are compared to humans). After a horrible joke from Bart (Words escape me for them ACTUALLY having him make that model) we see Bart working on a cootie shot when Milhouse comes in with a bestiality joke about him kissing his dog (...WHU?!) But Bart scraps the project when Lisa says it's basically like what he did last year (You know, considering just how uninspiring Lisa's project is, she has no room to talk). Bart then sees Martin hanging from a tree and shoots him down, Martin thanks him for saving him and Bart asks Martin for help on his science fair project (Okay, so that makes it two ideas from previous episodes. You know I'm sick and tired of people trying to defend the show stating "But it's been on for 23 years, of course you'll run out of ideas" If you can't think of anything original, then don't pretend like you can). After a pointless, unfunny dream sequence from Martin (Gotta hit that 21:30 mark SOMEHOW) Martin agrees and they pass by Milhouse kissing his dog... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE WRITERS?! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!

Basically the same scene, but one tries way too hard while the other is funny. Which one is which?

We then cut to the Nuclear Plant where we see Homer reading up on the safety manual, but then finding it boring and pulling out a pillow and sleepers to put over his eyes (Ah yes, avoiding the easy way for comedy (Just having him with his feet up on the console and leaned back in his chair) for the more complex, unfunny alternative. Too bad they don't put nearly that much effort into anything else). Homer then gets woken up by a woman (*Checks FOX.com* FUCK! This is the Jane Lynch cameo, I am so screwed right now) she introduces herself as Homer assistant and they exchange some dialogue which teaches us nothing about her or why Homer got an assistant (Say you know that filler at the beginning? Yeah that in no way could have been used to explain why she was assigned to Homer a la Last Temptation of Homer. But NO! That I&S cartoon was VITAL!) After he shows her the breakroom, where the jokes are about as funny as nails in your arm (Oh and there's a beachball or something, it's appeared twice already, so expect a scene later on for it to appear with no humor).

Oh hai random beach ball... wait what?

We then cut back home where Martin is helping Bart with his project, Martin tells Bart to come up with something more scientific and Bart thinks up 'Robo-pet' when he sees Santa's Little Helper with a Vader mask (Do I sense a scene with Jerkass Homer screaming at Vader-dog?) After Homer 'worships' SLH (Ugh) Martin approves of the idea and the scene ends with Nelson appearing out of nowhere for a 'joke' (REASON! YOU MUST HAVE IT! Your jokes don't have humor if it doesn't make sense). We then cut back later to the room where Martin and Bart have created a mechanical baby seal, complete with fur and blinking eyes, justifying it with the ability that nobody can hate a baby seal (I don't know, tell that to this guy) After Bart has the baby seal attack Homer (Because we need to see Homer act like a pompous ass all the time) we cut to the science fair where of course Bart and Martin win first place because as we all learned, "Every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner and half P.T. Barnum." After some more meh jokes, we cut to the Retirement Castle where Lisa is complaining to Grampa about how it's not fair that she lost to Bart and Martin and how her project was better (Ever wonder what would have happened if Duffless was written today? Well wonder no longer, because we have the answer right here; it would have sucked!)

Look Lisa, you lost to Bart's flying hamster fair and square, no need to be butthurt about it

After Grampa tries to cheer Lisa up, the baby seal doll approaches Jasper to cheer him up and this causes Jasper to get up and dance with the seal... I'm pretty sure all my meds are in order. Lisa feels bad for how she hated on the project and Bart tells her that he was able to make the 'Homer Humiliator' which we proceed to see humiliate Homer (I wonder what would happen if the writers were given the restrictions of: Don't have Homer engage in senseless violence. I think they'd go into the fetal position with no idea what to do). The next day at the Plant, we see Roz (The assistant, sorry I forgot to name her earlier) working in front of Homer's workplace while Homer's goofing off (So I take it they took down that wall with the plaque). Homer tells Roz he's going to head out, and we see he's heading out to see "Paul Flart: Water Park Cop"   (Nice to know that the staff feels the need to continue taking shots at 2009. Take that! Shitty 2009 movie, mwahaha!) After some pathetic jokes (Which of course Homer and Barney laugh at, hey someone has to find this funny, or this show would have been off the air years ago) we cut back home where  Mr. Burns is there to scold Homer for avoiding work (Homer you idiot, you should have plugged in 1970's footage of you working into the video camera feed).

It's miraculous just how much a joke can be so much different
based on the QUALITY of effort put in

Mr. Burns demotes Homer (Which causes him to scream, I should keep count of how many times they do these 'Pointless screams' I think we've got 5 in this episode alone so far) and put on his 3-D glasses to pretend Marge isn't there (Has anything really happened? We've had a grand total of two scenes at the plant and the science fair subplot has already run its course). Back at school, Milhouse gets in between Bart and Martin (While wearing a creepy shirt of Bart sleeping... Okay place your bets on the 'C' plot being 'Psycho Milhouse') when Grampa and Old Jewish Guy ask Martin and Bart for more of the baby seals (Did the writers forget that these people are basically dependent on the home?) At Moe's Homer tells everyone he suspects that Roz told on him and they don't believe him. Homer feels safe until Roz comes into Moe's and decides to buy drinks for Lenny and Carl (Jokes? What are those?!) Later, Homer realizes that with his demotion, he's not making as much money (And in other news, water is wet. That's the level of humor we're working with here folks...) Back at the Retirement Castle, we see all the old people with their own baby seals as we cut to a secret room where a table of executives decides that they need to reprogram the seals so that they can create funerals and make money again (Well thank God the writers decided that plot needed to be injected in at the 13:00 mark and not a minute earlier).

So we're the bad guys apparently... Wait what do we do?

Later, we see Homer getting to work late because the writers felt the need to include a bad joke. Roz tells Homer to make a list of ways to make his job worse (What the hell is going on? This plot is so underdeveloped that I feel like I'm watching clips of an episode out of order). We then cut to the next day where we find out an old woman died from the baby seal and that leads to a press conference by the late Dr. Nick (Why bother killing him in the movie if they weren't going to follow up on it? Oh right, shock value and nothing else) Bart and Martin then approach Professor Frink (You know, that rat poison must have really been candy instead) and Professor Frink tells Ms. Wyoming that he can't go out with her that night...What? Later, we see Ned and Homer putting their garbage at the curb as Homer tells Ned that he's having a problem with his boss as "She's the worst person to come out of Ohio since LeBron"... FUCK THIS JOKE! That was horrible! I cannot express with words how much this 'joke' hurt when I first heard it. So they had Roz come from Ohio PURELY for a lame, one year too late 'LeBron's a douche' joke. That was BAD, you have to TRY to write a joke that bad. Next we'll be seeing "A dollar is better than LeBron because it gives 4 quarters" jokes coming next September (P.S. those jokes are already old and dated, so I wouldn't put it past them). Ugh, let's move on. Ned tells Homer he had a problem with a similar woman and we find out it's the same woman (Wow, who would have guessed it)

I HATE HUMAN EMOTION! Never make me have an emotion again!

Actually, the more I think about it, what IS Roz's character? I mean is she a nice woman? Is she a backstabber? I honestly have no clue because she's so underdeveloped. After Homer explains a joke (Thank you Homer, we had no idea that 'Stones' was slang for dick, I NEVER would have guessed) Ned goes into flashback as he explains that Roz hates to be touched (No wait, she SAYS that. Show, don't tell, stupid writers). Homer thanks Ned by... worshiping him (Again, where are the jokes? I don't even remember how all this started, this is so inept). We then cut to Professor Frink as he's organized the College Nerds with Bart and Martin to help reprogram the seals. Frink reprograms the seals through a remote transmission and their cuteness causes Wiggum to let them out (Oh and Snake does the same thing to get out, no further comment). At the Nuclear Plant, we see Roz being awarded the employee of the millennium... where the FUCK did this come from? After she is awarded a trophy, Homer comes onstage where he suggests that Mr. Burns give her a hug (Burns Hugging someone? I think the writers AGAIN forget what they're supposed to be writing for).

You know, I may have learned to respect you... 

... Nevermind

After everyone chants 'hug' a bunch, Mr. Burns hugs her and she goes... berserk I guess, her voice, doesn't quite match her actions, she sounds more constipated than angry. Mr. Burns fires Roz and Roz tells Homer that she underestimated him and she goes on to explain how she feels about him (Again, SHOW don't tell every. Single. Detail). After getting the trophy off Homer's head... The Simpsons: trying their damn hardest to be more random than Family Guy. After struggling a bit, the trophy gets stuck further on his head and this leads to Homer eating butter that was meant to get him out (Just saw his head of please). We then get to see that all the seals made it back to the Retirement Castle safe and sound (Oh thank God, I would have been up all night wondering if that plot was ever resolved or not). That plot ends with the senior citizens all happy and they all (Including the nerds and Bart) dance... Hey a random dance sequence seemed to work wonders for How the Test was Won why not here?

Final Verdict: Was there an episode that took place or not? Every time I lower my standards for this show, it just seems that they limbo under that bar every single time. This was terrible and forgettable, the writing was awful, the plots? What plots? They were basically non-existent or were way too underdeveloped and hampered by all the padding and the jokes were just awful. Thank God within a week, nobody will ever speak of this again.

Final Grade: 1.4/10 At this rate, I do believe this season will surpass season 20 in awfulness, only to be leap-frogged by season 24 and then season 25