Episode 5: Treehouse of Horror XVIII

When was the last good Treehouse of Horror? Five? Ten years ago? Maybe even further back, either way this one doesn't reverse the trend and is another piss-poor attempt at the Halloween special. So without further delay, let's take a look at today's subject.

The episode begins with Marge addressing the audience acknowledging that it's past Halloween, but they're still celebrating anyways (Translation: If this show was still good, we'd have this BEFORE Halloween). After Marge kills some promos, she decides to cook them into a meatloaf and each slice gives us part of the title sequence.

E.T. Go Home
The segment begins with Marge having Bart go get some butane from the shed as Bart notices a glow from the shed out back (Personally I would be more surprised a shed that never existed is in my back yard, but I digress) Bart throws a baseball and ends up hitting Kodos in the nuts causing him to come out in pain. Kodos claims to be an alien who comes in peace, but after his gun falls out, he tries to hide it by saying it's a deodorant applicator and shoots himself while repressing the pain (After 18 encounters with these aliens, I'm surprised Bart didn't just grab the gun and shoot him on the spot). Inside, Bart shows Kodos his toys and Lisa comes in and is happy to see an alien in Bart's room. Bart and Lisa promise not to tell anyone about him, and Kodos tells them that he would like to phone his relatives as he gives them a handy list of things they need to get (Gee I wonder if the alien bent on world domination has plans of world domination?)

I wonder how the female taste with tartar sauce

After a scene of Kodos building said phone with Bart and Lisa, we see Kodos in the shower as... oh God no! Homer comes in and thinks that the giant green object with a glass dome poking above the shower curtain is Marge (Yeah it's understandable how he could mistake the two). After Homer gets Kodos to massage his butt (*throws up in mouth* I want to know the asswipe who thought that was funny) Homer finally realizes it's not Marge and screams (Okay so that's two out of three for Homer's character traits; Being an assclown, and screaming all in his second scene). After Marge says he can stay, Bart notices a van with men in body suits coming for Kodos (How did they know he was there you may ask. Because they read the script, no other given reason). However Homer has a plan to distract them as he gives off a southern Belle accent when they get to the door and comes to the door dressed as Abraham Lincoln... What. The. Fuck? I'm not angry so much as confused to what amount of drugs the writers were on when they wrote that scene. The agents get in and Lisa mocks them for being too late as Bart and Kodos haven't gotten very far in their escape (The irony's not lost on me, it just isn't funny). After Southern Belle Homer says goodbye to the agents (Why do the writers insist on Homer being about as funny as Paulie Shore? You know what? I take that back, Paulie Shore's not THIS bad)

I'm going to give you to the count of three before we shoot you Mr. Simpson

Bart and Kodos get to a roadblock where army personnel are waiting for them with guns (This is the perfect chance to make fun of the change to walkie-talkies and you MISSED it? I know it's obvious, but there could have been a joke about it there). Kodos blasts them and they ride off. In the forest Kodos reveals that he's evil and he plans on bringing shock troopers to Earth to take over the world. Kodos then activates the teleporter, but after they all arrive, the military arrive and shoot them all, killing them where they stand (How very anticlimatic, if I cared, I'd be disappointed). Bart then aims a gun at Kodos, but is unable to shoot because of their one-day friendship, prompting Homer to shoot him. The segment ends with Kodos being dissected alive until Homer smothers him with a pillow (Can Homer be on the other side of that pillow instead? No? *Sigh*)

Mr. and Mrs. Simpson

The segment begins with Homer and Marge in what appears to be a therapist's office talking about how they've grown apart (Well seeing as how they're nothing like their original characters, I can see why). We then go into a... dream? Flashback? Future event? I'm going to say flashback based on the ending, but it might have been helpful to say something along the lines of "It all started X months ago". Homer goes into the kids bathroom as he turns into a Bond-esque headquarters with Mr. Burns telling him to kill Kent Brockman because he revealed where Burns hides all the energy to jack up the rates over the Summer (*Sigh* Another  'You'll have to Google this to understand it' jokes. By the by, I DO understand this joke, I just didn't find it funny the first time). Later, Homer informs Marge he'll be home late and Marge tells Homer she'll be gone for the night as well (Okay, I've never seen the Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie (Either one) so I don't know how well this follows the movie). At a party celebrating Kent Brockman (Don't know why, they just are) Homer goes up to the top of a construction site where he tries to ready a sniper shot. He is obstructed by some woman who ends up stabbing Mr. Brockman in the least subtle way possible (If it wasn't for the fact that the police are completely inept, I would say I'm surprised Marge gets away with her assassinations).

Wait a second, that's the building across from my window... Nice knowing you guys

Homer shoots wildly like a 5-year-old and reveals the assassin to be Marge (That came out of left field, I for one am shocked). Homer gets back home where he confronts Marge but doesn't reveal his knowledge of what she is. At... dinner I guess, I mean it's gotta be close to 11 or 1 AM given what we've been told, Marge gives Homer some food and Homer like an idiot, eats it all and asks for seconds before pulling out a gun and they exchange gunfire (I never thought I'd find a shootout between a husband and wife to be so boring, but here we are). After the drawn-out fight with bad jokes ends, Bart and Lisa come down to all the wreckage and Homer sends them back up with the promise of ice cream (Again, isn't it around midnight or so?) After Homer points a crossbow in Marge's face (Okay, why are they trying to kill each other again? No, seriously. I don't think there's a reason why they're trying to kill each other) Wiggum appears and Marge shoots him with the crossbow. Homer and Marge have sex on his body and we cut back to the office where it's revealed it was Skinner's office and the segment ends with Marge and Homer shooting him (So what actually happened here I do not know, it was just boring, bland and repetitive).

Heck House
The segment begins with Bart, Milhouse, Lisa and Nelson going Trick-or-Treating as Agnes stiffs them on candy. Bart decides to get even by 'tricking' her as they all throw water balloons at her. Afterwards, they decide not to give people an option which leads into a montage of them all 'tricking' people while Lisa disapproves each time. Okay, I feel I need to explain my stance on this right now:

• This COULD have been a decent idea, of them ALL committing simple fun pranks like smashing pumpkin, egging houses, TP-ing trees, etc. Two problems, one they go too far in their 'tricking' to the point of criminal felonies such as B&E and manslaughter, it loses humor value instantly. Two, having Lisa always give that "I don't approve of this" look really removes her from the story and they might as well have not even included her if all she was going to do was be a buzz-kill. Would those changes have made this good? I don't know, but I feel like it could have been made decent. let's move on.

Now this has humor because she stiffed them and this is a reasonable response

This is not because they're just flat out robbing him

Afterwards, all the townspeople approach Homer as he tells them to relax, until Bart drops a pig on Homer's head and he can't see. Ned Flanders then approaches the townspeople saying he can fix them, of course though, the mood has to be ruined by the pig dragging Homer around (Even when the scene's not about Homer, the writers make Homer an assclown). After stealing from Lenny, the kids pass by the church with "Heck House" in Neon lights. The kids go in and are unimpressed by Ned's exhibit. After praying to God to help him scare the kids, Ned turns into the devil and sends the kids to hell (Lisa thinks her punishment being the same is wrong. I might have agreed, except you never stopped them, so you're just as guilty). After they all fall into chairs and are strapped in, Devil Ned shows them people committing the 7 deadly sins and how they will lead them back to Hell. The kids promise never to sin again and they're all transported away. The segment ends with normal Flanders wishing us a happy Halloween and saying we're all going to Hell for watching any FOX programming (Okay, small kudos for the jab at FOX)

Final Verdict: This was rather mediocre, but at the same time, not terrible. The jokes weren't really funny, the writing was bad as well and none of the segments stood out. I felt that the Mr. and Mrs. Simpson was the worst and Heck House is debatably the best, but not by much. Really, it's just not worth your time as the only thing horrifying about it is just how bored you'll be by the end.

Final Grade: 3.5/10 There are much better things to watch this Halloween.