Monday, January 3, 2011

Episode 1: Sex, Pies, and Idiot Scrapes

I could skip this season and just post about 5 paragraphs worth of obscenities towards this season and it'd be just the same. But I'm contractually obligated to explain in detail why I hate this season. What better way than to review the 21 combined episodes that make me enraged. Let's begin the hell that is "The Simpsons Season 20".

We begin this episode with the family going to a St. Patrick's Day Parade (The only way this can be any good is if Bart gets drunk (Hey, we have a rule about not discussing better episodes!)). After an unfunny, pointless scene involving the river and Mr. Burns (Yay for padding!), Mayor *Insert Irish names* Quimby declares there to be no booze for the celebration. Mayor Quimby tries to calm down the audience by listing things that Ireland created. After a pointless IRA joke (I thought Bart was ignorant about the history of... anywhere) we get to see some Irish stereotype floats and a Northern Irish parade towards the Irish. Lisa goes to calm the two sides down by singing an Irish lullaby that was conveniently given to her before the episode (I know she's smart but not this smart).
Stop fighting! We can't have excitement in this episode
The Irish then go back to doing what they do best: disorderly conduct. Marge then gets mobbed by Irish kids and loses her cupcakes. A man named Mr. Flannery retrieves the cupcakes for her and offers her a job at his bakery. Meanwhile, Homer goes for arraignment on his involvement in the riot. His bail is set incredibly high, forcing him to seek out a bail bond center. At the center, Homer gets bailed out and is told if he doesn't appear for his court date, a bounty hunter will chase him. Homer becomes a bounty hunter himself (after he got fired for getting arrested) and he lures Snake and his girlfriend into a trap. He traps Snake in an alley which leads to Snake shooting Homer (I wonder how this will play out).
Thank you Flanders, lazy writing has saved me again
When the commercial break ends (much to our dismay), we cut back to Flanders putting his Deus ex Machina, er, I mean bullet-proof glass in front of the bullet to save Homer. After Homer then apprehends Snake, he proposes to Ned that they should team up to catch criminals. We check back with Marge at her new job as a baker for an erotic bakery (The name of the bakery should have tipped her off; I don't want to buy my mom a cake from a place called "Au Naturel"). Marge gets furious at Mr. Flannery for not telling her, but, through the power of an unimpressive speech, she agrees to stay (I call foul on this, I really doubt Marge would want to continue doing this now that she knows what it is)(I concur; Marge has some pretty 1950s' housewife values). Homer and Ned then have a small talk which leads to Homer misusing a taser and tazing himself. After a montage of them catching bail-jumpers (Yeah I'm doing that again, I didn't plan on it I swear) Homer gives his family presents from his job.
Real subtle there. Bet you can't guess what's made inside
After a scene where Marge prevents Homer from knowing what she really does, Homer and Ned stake out the Italian restaurant for Fat Tony, from which he escapes on a subway car. Homer pursues him recklessly to pad out the episode a little. Ned then expresses his disgust for Homer's disrespect for the law (And I express my own to the fact that Fat Tony was only given grunts as lines; if you bring in Joe Mantegna for Fat Tony, GIVE HIM SOME LINES!). Flanders then calls the partnership off and Homer agrees. Homer grieves over the friendship being over when the writers decided to throw in Marge telling Homer about her job (Seriously, how he finds out is awful: she just tells him for no reason even though earlier she was ashamed enough not to explain why they couldn't get a cake for Lisa's Birthday). After some unfunny jokes involving cake, Flanders finds out he needs to catch Homer because he missed his court date. After Flanders hesitates, he decides to search for Homer because he doesn't want Homer hurt by a different bounty hunter.
Welcome back to "Physics is for losers". Today we will rape the laws of gravity and momentum.
Flanders then chases Homer in a chase scene that has physics makes Bill Nye's knowledge of science look like Einstein (That's just being mean to Bill Nye) (By the way Homer and Flanders are both very athletic and would put Bruce Lee to shame. Consistency, what's that?). Good Lord, this chase lasts for over two minutes and it's not really good either. After the chase is over they decide to further pad it by talking like they're Obi-Wan and Anikan from Revenge of the Sith. After Homer remembers all the good times with Flanders, he decides to save him but it backfires as they land in some wet cement, which doesn't seem to hurt them despite the fact the cement is about 6 ft. deep and it hardens as soon as they land in it (Oh booze I've missed you). Flanders pads out the end with reciting the Bible as Homer is taken to jail. Marge sends him a cake that says she loves him and the episode ends.

Final Judgment: What a stupid episode, I don't know which was worse the Marge subplot or the bad buddy cop main plot. The opening ended up being entirely pointless as it really could have been any situation and it would have been the same. The writing seemed half-assed as there were times where I wondered what happened to the main characters' personalities and I wonder who thought this would be a good idea. When you get down to it, the subplot was just filler as it really had no implication on the main plot and didn't develop anything for any of the main characters.

Final Grade: 3.4/10 What a way to open up a shitty season, this was a red flag to what would become of this season, but nobody seemed to listen. Word of advice: never open your season with garbage, it'll be the first impression on how your season will be.

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