Opening sequence: 54 Seconds. A bit amusing, but nothing to put up on the fridge
The episode begins with Homer eating at Krusty Burger when after a poorly done thought bubble gag (This joke DOES work, they just screw it up in this instance). Homer then orders some onion rings where Squeeky Voice Teen gets bombarded with people asking him for stuff (Apparently the staff is comprised of two people. Worst. Fastfood. Chain. Ever) as this results in him accidentally throwing the cooked onion rings on Homer, burning him (Let me guess, that was a stunt double Homer as well. No, i'm not letting that go, they acted like Homer getting injured is a once-in-a-blue moon event when in reality it's every fourth scene). So Homer goes to a lawyer where the lawyer makes his burns out to be worse than they really are and thus Homer wins the lawsuit against Krusty (If they're trying to make fun of frivolous lawsuits, this isn't the right way for two reasons. One, this is legit as his burns were caused by the company and not him failing to realize that hot coffee is hot. Two, New Kid on the Block actually made fun of dumb lawsuits over twenty years ago). So Homer wins $5000 and after going to the bar, Moe convinces him to put the money into an online gambling site instead of a bank.
|Homer: Say Lisa, what do you think of my script?|
Lisa: ...That's a recipe for pudding.
|Marge: Look Homie, it's memories from our glory days. Let's forget about them completely|
Lisa makes a lot of money in a montage which leads to her getting one hand that makes her cocky enough to go all in with a predictable losing result. She mopes until Bart reveals that he won the hand but they're back to the $5000 she started with b/c somehow the site found out they were both under 18.
5 Simple steps for a lazy subplot
5 Simple steps for a lazy subplot
|Step 1: Introduce your character to something different|
|Step 2: Make said character good at this activity|
|Step 3: Character learns harsh reality of activity|
|Step 4: ...|
|Step 5: Twist ending!|
There, 3 lines and nothing of value was lost. Anyways, Homer and Marge go to the restaurant on the coaster where Homer asks a simple question, but since he cannot talk like a normal person, the bikers think he's a narc and start to threaten him and harm him. However, the owner comes out and recognizes Abe in the photo ans tells the bikers to put him down. Okay stupid question that borderlines on nitpicking, we will see in a moment that the restaurant was classy when Abe worked there, why does he own it in the condition it's in? It's not a big problem, but it does raise some questions. So Abe was a busboy and he fell in love with a black female singer at the club. While trying to put this on some timescale is stupid, I'm going to assume the late 60's or so which would put this after Mona leaves the family and would mean that Abe's hairstyle is wrong and... wait I'm putting continuity into this. Ignore what I just said.
So in between more of Homer's awful dialogue ("My grandfather was an aspiring musician like Charles Manson" to name one charmer) the guy tells Homer that he was sorry for pushing them apart and to look up Rita Lafloeur (Oh and they try to make a gag out of the fact that the owner has a long name, but really naming him "Mr. Kamquat Pickles" would be funnier). So after Marge pulls out the script to conveniently find Rita's number (Yeah, yeah probably a yellow pages app. *Sigh* I'm getting old) Rita informs them that's she's Abe's wife. So Homer is distraught that Abe had another wife (He also had at least two illegitimate children and neglected his family, what do you expect from him) and they head over to Rita's place. Rita explains that she saw something in him under all his layers (So Grandpa is an ogre?) and she fell in love with him. Homer doesn't understand how he didn't remember any of this as he is shown to have witnessed this as a kid (Oh so we're going down the whole George Lucas path of inserting characters in stories to pretend that they have some sort of connection).
So Marge decides to explain that this was after Mona left (Silly writers, trying to act as if this were canon) and in the flashback, Abe and Rita get married as it results in Homer getting harmed because he's stupid like that (IS HOMER GETTING HURT FUNNY YET?! NO?! WELL LET'S TRY IT 7 MORE TIMES!!!) So in the hospital, Homer falls off his bed for no reason (Once). Then Rita gets a call to perform in Europe as Homer sticks his tongue in an electrical socket while Abe is turned around (Twice). Abe decides that his retarded son is more important than Rita and he tells her he can't go with her (Apologies to retarded children everywhere as Homer would be a disgrace to those children). So after Abe sees Rita off, he decides to forget the memories by drinking it away at the bar, however Homer falls off his bar stool (Thrice). Okay this isn't even stupidity anymore, I think child Homer might just have a disease that's cut off his nervous system completely, get the child help now. Later, Rita apologizes for her scene being utterly useless and gives Homer some of Abe's cologne. This prompts them to go to a cologne store where it turns out Abe is working there. Look, the episode's almost over and I can summarize this very quickly, so let's do that. Abe gives the whole "You didn't pay attention to me" speech for the 65th time, Homer and Marge apologize, Abe accepts the apology and they go home. Okay, one joke that made me snicker was the jab at FOX, but more because it was a jab against themselves. So the episode ends with Abe back in the retirement home as Rita plays the piano to get Abe's attention and they play into the credits.
|Oh the hilarity of seeing Homer needlessly getting harmed for the 7th time in the span of 5 minutes. That doesn't get old at all...|
|Sorry Young Homer, but not even you are safe from this trainwreck|
Final Verdict: This episode was very bland and forgettable. The opening act felt jumbled and had awkward transitioning. The subplot was very safe and took no chances, which in the end made it incredibly forgettable and gave you that sense of "I've seen this before in something better". The whole plot involving Rita and Grandpa was pure filler and just an excuse to make Homer a punching bag, now granted young Homer has been the punchline of injury jokes in the past, but those jokes made sense and weren't just mindless "Harm Homer". And the ending was very rushed, because the fact that Abe was missing between the 5 minute mark and discovered at the 19 minute mark of a 21 minute episode, there was no room for the whole apology scene to even take place. Overall, this was a rather bad episode and 2nd worse of the season next to Moonshine River for me (Keep in mind I'm ranking this out of 3 episodes, my midseason review will be more precise).