Episode 16: How I Wet Your Mother

Oh goodie an Inception-based episode about two years after Inception was released in theaters. Eh, they're about on time with this dated plot given how the show runs. Let's see, they've already done Social Network, Despicable Me, Black Swan, and The King's Speech which leaves us True Grit, How to train Your Dragon, Scott Pilgram vs the World, Kick-Ass and Shutter Island for them to "parody" within this season. And I would bet my soul that at least ONE more 2010 movie will be referenced either in the title or the plot itself because the writers don't understand their own lazy scheduling causes their episode to be dated before they even air. Whatever, let's begin this horrid mess of an episode.

Opening sequence: 25 seconds. Hot damn they actually did something right

The episode begins with Smithers going into a supply closet and accidentally causes a Plutonium rod to prop the door open (Random Portal reference by the way. Pros: It was short and they didn't explain the joke. Con: It was random). Homer, Lenny and Karl pass by and as Karl closes the door, Homer slides in to prevent it from locking, thus he gets his head caught in the doorway (You know, I'm all for physical comedy, I really am. But the writers have run the "Physical abuse against Homer" joke into the ground so deep, not even the first time in an episode can I find it funny, I just know it'll be beaten into the ground about 9 more times per episode). Anyways, after a bunch of employees steal some stuff, we see Burns walking outside as Homer decides to floor it and escape with all the supplies he looted (I know this might sound stupid later, but what does this have to do with Homer's bed wetting problems or why the family goes into Homer's dreams? Just because the set up doesn't HAVE to be related to the rest of the episode doesn't mean you can't make sense). The next day, Burns addresses how he's fed up with them stealing their stuff (Barney stands up to object to which Burns points out how he doesn't work there. I would find this funny if not for the fact that in The Falcon and the D'ohman Barney is at the Plant and they treat it like he DOES work there. That's just pointing out their horrible writing).

Now then, because I like this man, you should all worship him like a God

Burns then says that Homer was the only person NOT caught stealing stuff (So wait, all those people who got out before Homer did got caught? HOW DOES THIS WORK?! Goddammit writers, you don't even understand basic logic, why should I respect you?) and because of this, he tries to use Homer as a good example for the rest of the employees (This may have worked in the earlier seasons where Burns kept forgetting who Homer was, but that character trait was dropped and he knows that Homer is a lazy bum. UGH, how is it they can't go 30 seconds without contradicting themselves?). As a result, Homer is given the day off while the rest of the employees have to write 30-page essays about how good Homer is (No writers, I will NOT write a 30 page essay about how good you guys are at writing, it would require you to not suck). Seriously, a lot of these recent episodes have felt like bad self-insertion fanfiction where they make a character good at something and everyone wants us to know just how good that character is at that something. Writers, get your heads out of your asses and write these guys as actual characters and not Mary Sues we should all love.

Homer: You know the best part about being poorly written Bart? Everyone loves me in the end

Anyways, we cut to the lake as Homer is fishing with Bart, and Bart asks how Homer hasn't been dealing with bad things due to karma and Jarkass Homer decides to be loud and obnoxious about how everything good goes his way (Because Jerkass Homer has no real character, this scene loses any attempt at humor or irony). The next morning, Homer wakes up to find out he's wet the bed, which he's never done before... ten bucks says the resolution to this will be utterly bullshit and disappointing, who wants in? Homer tries to hide his bed wetting when he asks Marge where the washing machine is as this causes suspicion between Marge and the kids Oh, by the way, as recently as Lost Verizon Homer was next to the washing machine, you see, this is what happens when your show is on for too long; certain character traits and jokes just cannot work if you put the slightest bit of logic into them. After Homer fights with his brain, we cut to the next day where apparently he has pissed himself all over his body (Great, the episode has fully devolved into toilet humor >.<) Okay at this point I have to ask a simple question that clearly the writers didn't ask: How does Marge not notice this? She's out of bed both times and the stench of urine is not something people can mistake as Febreze, it's these sort of plot holes the old writers spent hours on into the early morning ironing out, for these guys it's just simply "First draft of the script done? Let's go get hammered!" They want to put in as little effort as possible and get that paycheck.

Toilet humor is always funny, right?

Anyways, Apu appears in a dream bubble telling Homer it's Karma that's causing him to wet his bed. So Homer decides he needs to apologize to the employees for what he did (What did he do again? Oh right, he threw them under the bus, sorry that sequence was just so bland, I didn't even care). So at Homer's apology picnic (Which he could somehow afford... I don't know maybe he sold a kidney or maybe he really DID discover Julius Caesar's Gold offscreen). Because of this, they forgive Homer which makes him believe that his bed wetting problem is over. However the next morning, he wet himself again, causing him to go out and get something to deal with his problem (And again, Marge has no idea what's going on despite sleeping with this man, it's those little things that prevent one from pointing out obvious plot holes like this). So Homer installs his "Uralarm" which has a loud police light attached to a pad to go off when it detects urine (A joke only works if it makes sense. How would a loud alarm be helpful? How would that keep Homer's newfound bed wetting problem a secret? Ugh, I sense a bad joke coming up where everyone finds out Homer's secret in the middle of the night). Later that night, the alarm goes off waking everybody up and they all go to figure out what the sound was (A child with a nail in their eye saw that coming a mile away). Anyways, Homer tries to tell the kids that Marge also wets the bed (UGH) and we see later Homer and Marge making out as Homer's wearing an adult diaper... these writers have a sick sense of humor.

Thank God the plot dropped in to help Marge out

Wait, the writers don't have a sense of humor, my bad. After Homer tries to make the diaper look sexy (My eyes! The goggles do nothing!) Marge decides to take a midnight stroll and she runs into Professor Frink who just happened to have exploded her way (You know what, at this point I'm not even going to bother bringing up how they killed him in season 20 as part of a joke and just assume he got better after choking on that poison). After Professor Frink tells Marge he learned about Homer's bedwetting through Twitter (I thought it was Spring-Twit, oh wait he only said "Tweeted" and "Retweeted" but I bet he would have called it Twitter if given the chance. They've already abandoned the idea that Facebook was non-existent) Frink then informs Marge that he has created a device that allows someone to enter someone else's dreams and explore their subconscious. Okay a few problems here

1. You already created that device in Eternal Moonshine for the Simpsons Mind (Which actually would be a better Inception parody than this one despite coming out two years before the movie)
2. He doesn't even know WHY Homer is wetting the bed. Bed wetting isn't always psychological, it could be medical, who knows? That is the equivalent of telling someone you're afraid of dogs and they recommend you go to China for the Summer

Lisa: So let me get this straight, we're going to do an Inception parody and not make any jokes whatsoever?
Frink: Correct
Lisa: This new format sucks

Anyways, Frink hooks everyone up to the machine and they all get put into Homer's dream (At the 9 minute mark no less. Took them long enough to get to their crap-tastic Inception ass-kissing, er I mean parody). We then see Homer skiing down a mountain (Couldn't even bother coming up with someplace original I see). After some chit-chat, the family follows Death on a snowmobile, after Homer sees the coffin say "Marriage" they fall off a cliff where Frink informs them via horrible joke that if they die in the dream, they die in real life (Please die! Please die! Please die!). After falling some more (Easy opportunity for a "What's taking so long?" joke) Lisa says they should dream in the dream so that they can delay the fall since time will be slowed down in the second level. Okay, HOW?! I know this rule is explained in the movie, Inception is one of my favorite films. But they've already broken the rules that were actually established in the movie, so how Lisa would know this works comes out of nowhere. Frink never explains this and like I said, the writers disobey how the machine actually works and what happens when you die in stage one of a dream. The only reason the man would die in stage one as explained by the movie was because they were under HEAVY sedation, here they're just knocked out and software is not updated. So the rules of Inception are void unless verified by Frink, the person who understands this machine. The movie made sense: all the characters who knew things about how infiltrating dreams worked had previous experience, they knew their stuff. Here, Lisa just HAPPENS to know that it'll work despite just finding out that dying in a dream will not wake you up. The writers don't even understand their own logic here. Long rants are long, let's move on.

Hey I saw it in a movie, therefore is HAS to work

So after Lisa's plan works (So I guess they're back to following the rules of Inception) we see the family a la The Tracy Ullman Show waiting in a room. While I'll admit, this in-joke is a bit funny, they screw it up a few ways here:

1. Instead of actually having their references to the shorts make sense, all the characters just spout them out. References still need context. For example, Bart burps, to which Homer tells him to fetch him a baloney sandwich. You guys are in a waiting room, where the fuck do you think Bart is going to get a baloney sandwich from?
2. Because the characters have changed (Jerkass Homer, Know-it-all douche Lisa) the bits don't work as well

By the way, a total of 5 shorts are referenced here, none of which make sense in context. You know what this reminds me of? There was a Pearls Before Swine strip where 4 punchlines from 4 different comics were used by the main characters. Out of context, the punchlines didn't make sense, but that was the joke, all the punchlines, none of the buildup. Instead, here they are referenced just for the sake of referencing. Anyways, the family is called back to the therapists' office where they open the coffin to reveal fish. They go into another level of dreaming, to which they ignore Lisa's dream and go into another level of dreaming. 

No, if you're going to go for taking all of Inceptions ideas, those buildings should be crumbling

So inside the fourth layer of dreams, we see Homer's dreams as basically a knock-off of Cobb's 4th layer but instead, the buildings are made of food and beer. Anyways, the next two minutes are spent as the family wanders around "Admiring" this dream with random occurrences as the road going up at a 90 degree angle a la Ariadne warping Cobb's dream and a bunch of Moes. Back in the real world, Frink is sitting around as Wiggum and the police bust in to order Frink to shut the machine off... why? No seriously, this scene is NEVER explained in the episode. Who called the police to inform them of this? Why is it a crime that the inventor of a machine be allowed to use said machine? Why do the police care? Why didn't the writers put any effort into this? Anyways, as a result from Frink and Wiggum fighting, the 4th level begins to collapse and it results in beer spilling over and almost killing the family. After admittedly a funny fight scene between Frink and Wiggum (Still doesn't justify his existence in this scene) the family is saved by Death who turns out to be Mona Simpson to help Homer find out why he's dealing with his problem (I smell bullshit explanation). Mona takes them to a theater where we discover that one Summer, Homer and Abe went fishing as Homer asks if Abe and Mona were fighting the other night. Abe lies to Homer and after Homer capsizes the boat, we find out that weeks later, Abe and Mona split up, leading Homer to believe that he caused their divorce... *Bangs head against wall* UGH, where do I begin with this?

Homer: Oh God this is horrible
Mona: This is next week's episode
Homer: Why do you think I said it was horrible?

1. Did the writers just never see Mother Simpson? Homer never blamed himself for their divorce. And really this episode seems to hate that episode, seeing as it was good and gave Homer some closure with his mother for why she had to leave him.
2. Again with the problem of a show with as much history as this one. The conclusion they come to is that the fishing incident caused Homer's bed wetting problem, I'm pretty damn sure he's fished before and was perfectly okay. How sad is it that the hypnosis from The Blunder Years would make more sense for Homer's problem here?

So the writers know about the shorts, but cannot remember something as basic as Mother Simpson? Why are these guys employed? Oh right, they are blackmailing Jean and would go nowhere if they wrote on their resume "Wrote for the last 4 seasons of The Simpsons". Might as well write "Financial adviser for Enron" on your resume, you'd stand a better chance. Anyways, Mona tells Homer that it wasn't his fault for their divorce (Something he discovered in Mother Simpson, no I'm not letting that go) and she tells them to wake up from their dream states (Too bad they didn't set up any way to wake themselves up in each dream state, they're all screwed). 

And the top would spin forever, thus making the past 10 seasons not exist

But of course, the writers can't figure out which logic they want to use and the family proceeds to wake up from each dream state until they're all back in reality (So Inception logic is back off, God dammit writers, logic is not like a light switch, you can't just turn it on and off when you feel like it). After Wiggum pulls the plug, Homer realizes he's cured and his family congratulates him. The episode ends with Marge giving Homer a top to spin to see if they're in a dream or the real world (Wait a second, the totem system was never brought up before this scene. NO! You can't just introduce a concept like this with no set up in the episode and expect us to buy it you lazy hacks!) and after they think it's still a dream, they go off to bike naked only to find out it's reality. Hardy-har-har, oh thank God this is over.

Final Verdict: This was bad, not as bad as some of the others, but still very bad. The whole bed wetting plot was painful and unfunny, the plot point about karma is dropped at about the halfway mark with a very lazy resolution, the jokes were hit and miss, more good ones here than in a lot of other recent episodes though. And the parody of Inception was horribly written with it being basic Modern Simpsons "Hey, let's put our characters in this movie" logic and the jokes were mostly terrible. I would not recommend this and even though Insheeption was a better parody of the movie than this piece of junk, despite the main parody being a parody of a College Humor clip.

Final Grade: 2.8/10 I wish this episode was a dream